Being the group Mom never feels sexy, unless you are called Norman.
Friends are important, true. I'll go well out of my way to help any friend in need, wallet, back, ear or sword, like any other sane person. But there has to be a limit. Sure, you feel good about yourself, but you end up at home alone on a weekend with TV reruns on and no one feeling you good.
Gals do this all the damned time. Helping friends out, wiping tears, giving advice, a shoulder, a gentle shake if needed. Neglecting their own needs, drives and desires out of a feeling that "they have to do this." It happens to guys too, but more rarely, as we are pretty direct in looking out for ourselves.
The solution to your problem is right there in front of you.
Friends help friends, right? So it is time for the guy friends in your life to cough up what they owe you and get you going on dates. Blind dates, double dates, whatever. Dates where you aren't Mom, but instead concentrate on your own fun and pleasure, with someone who is interested in you. Not your ability to fix their problems. Resist that. Be selfish for once.
It works.
Wow, I must say that I was pleasantly surprised to come home from work and see that you answered my question!
I'll have to buck up the courage to ask my friends (seeing as I've not dated before, eek!), but I'll give it a shot and see what happens.
Thanks so much for taking time to answer my question! Really made my day. :)
You think I'd ignore a regular? One who is smart, compassionate and funny?
Aw, shucks... :)
Aw, shucks... :)
Of course I accidentally hit "submit" twice! Oh well, doubly flattered all the same. :)
This was a great question to answer because I think alot of us have been there, and I also love the answer. I know we sometimes sit at home hoping that these guys who we invest so much in will realise how wonderful we are and see us as a girl rather than a confidante. But this is the sort of solution that allows us to accept the dynamic of the relationships that we have with these guys, and still get something in return for all the hours of thouightful care we've given them.
Guys too. The dread friend zone comes under this heading.
UGH. I too feel like LUCY...ya know, Charlie Brown's friend who, from behind the Lemonade stand facade is dishing out love advice, but she, herself, is a lonely, barren soul (ok..I embellish for effect).
Being one of the guys for advice, makes ya "one of the guys"...as MM said...FRIEND ZONE.
I'm like the manager of the Zone. In a Lucy dress. With a lemonade stand.
Hmmm.
The dress isn't so bad. The hair though ....
Same advice to you. Payback time, and don't accept excuses.
Loved this question and answer! I have lived in the friend zone my entire adult life...very sad but true.