Woah, hold on, since when did I become Serious Man? This is one of those questions where a random, faceless, vaguely humorous guy on the internet is probably not the best source of advice.
As far as I am concerned, though, a person who can bring themselves to do that, who is that manipulative, has absolutely no reason or right to continue existing, unless they are seriously mentally ill. He is bringing nothing at all back to the relationship, apart from the threat to make you feel like hell for the rest of your life. Lets call a spade a spade - he is not being manipulative. He is trying to blackmail you, pure and simple. And no one should have to stand for that. You certainly don't. You walked once. Do it again.
Since you won't, and he is counting on you taking him seriously, I am sorry, you will need to talk to others about this - his Mom, other ex's, his friends - anyone who knows his past form. If the guy is not being a manipulative drama queen, but is in fact deadly serious, he needs professional help. Badly and fast. Not your help. Head-doctor type help.
If he is just being a childish, blackmailing jerk, as is far more likely, invite him over and kick the living daylights out of him. Outsource it if you have to, but make him regret he ever tried it on.
Or buy him a copy of the Suicides Handbook. If he is saying he is going to kill himself, he may as well do it right the first time, rather than bugging EMT's and ER for weeks.
If someone tells me they want to kill themselves and say in a serious manner I tell them that I will call 911. I say that I am not equipped to handle this kind of situation and they would be better served at the hospital. Then I take out my phone and they stop me.
So people know not to pull that stupid immature as fuck move on me. Run from this guy. If he tells you he wants to kill himself, call 911 and have his ass hauled to the looney bin. Call his bluff. He gets help, he knows he can't pull shit on you and moves on. Seriously.
As an aside, I mainly do this for people I don't know very well. I totally take this as a cry for attention/help. As soon as they know I will not play their pity party they take it somewhere else. If my best friend that I've known for ten years and whom I trust to help me move a dead body said this, I'd haul her ass to the hospital myself. I take shit seriously with people I know don't do that stupidity for attention.
Perfect. Agreed.
Spot on Megan.
It is nearly always someone being a jerk. But sometimes ...
my ex husband did this, emphasis on the word ex. twice. the second time i said "try not to leave a mess and here's the phone if you need it, we ( meaning me and our son) will be at my mothers". great advice from mystery man. it is nothing but blackmail and is also a form of emotional abuse. that is a threat, whether he plans on following through or not, and you do not deserve to be threatened by someone you love. run do not walk to the curb you should be throwing him to and do not look back.
My ex did this same sh!+ to me, and I told him almost exactly the same thing: "Do what you have to, but don't leave a mess for me and our daughter to clean up," and I hung up and called his sister to get him out of my house. The idiot stabbed himself in the stomach and then complained that he had to ride his bike to work with a huge gash in hi stomach... Glad to say I got out of that one.
Let him know that it doesn't matter to you, and move on.
This may sound harsh to some--but AMEN!
"Or buy him a copy of the Suicides Handbook. If he is saying he is going to kill himself, he may as well do it right the first time, rather than bugging EMT's and ER for weeks."
thank you so much for replying! I'm planning on walking out again and hopefully it will be for the last time. It would be difficult to have that hanging over you for the rest of your life. But calling his bluff seems like the smarter thing to do.
Good for you! Don't take any of that crap, you deserve so much better than that abuse!