Well, yeah, he's unhappy--you dumped him! That tends to bum people out. But hey, you had your reasons and you did what you had to do. More power to you. Now do the right thing and leave the poor guy alone so he can get over you.
Yeah, I know--you feel guilty and want to make him feel better, but you can't. All you will do is prolong his agony. You can't dump someone and then hang around him trying to be all happy and fun like nothing happened. You can't cut a guy loose and then try to convince him he is awesome. You just need to disappear and let him get over you. He'll be fine. Give him space.
Thanks for the question.
Yes, you can console him - by never seeing him again. You didn't expect him to be right as rain did you?
I give you kudos though, you cared about his feelings, that makes you a cut above many women. Mr Wise Ass himself answered a question why when she dumped a man he didn't breakdown into a sobbing mess.
It's completely self-centered and egotistical to think that you, the heartbreaker, can soothe him, the heartbroken. Leave him alone.
i beg to differ, every situation is unique, each story different.. when a person is able to look in the mirror and accept and take responsibility for their actions and they can see the cause of a break-up.
Sometimes the connection between 2 people is so strong, experiences so real that love still exists.. but, based on the circumstances that pushed these 2 people apart the only solution at the present time is to be apart. Time apart to heal the wounds that were created.
so, the heartbreaker, understands the pain the heartbroken person feels.. kindness and understanding -it is up to the heartbroken person who laid the groundwork to decide if they can man-up or loathe in self-pity!!!
Who knows what the future holds. For either the act of kindness and forgiveness over time change and love might bring 2 people back together as one
To me, manning up means removing myself from the woman who dumped me, has nothing to do with pity. It is supreme arrogance to think you can break someone's heart in this manner and expect the person you hurt to come to you for consolation. If he's a real man, IMO, he will sever all contact from her for a period of time, so he can get on with his life.
To the OP, you need to realize that since you dumped your boyfriend for the reasons you stated, then you cannot expect to be able to help him feel better. You can't say "you're a great guy" or "it's not you, it's me". And if you try to help him to find a new girlfriend, then that would make it even worse. If you can't understand this, then imagine telling your female BFF that you don't want a friendship with her right now because you are stressed out. How do you think she would feel if you did that?
Amy I'm glad that you left a reply because I expected that women in general would sympathize with the woman asking the question. As a guy I acknowledge that this is reality but I never realized quite how differently women see this. I can't even imagine breaking up with a girlfriend because I'm stressed and just don't want a relationship now. If anything I'd expect adversity to make the relationship stronger if love is actually there. I make not judgements of right or wrong in this matter. I've come to believe that women don't love in the same manner men do.