The honest answer is, "Some are turned off, most aren't, and a few are turned on by it." Your guy is probably in the majority.
Even the most hardened player tends to pause when he bumps his nose against a virgin. It is quite a solemn responsibility, being the first. The first time is supposed to be special, tender, all that romantic rubbish. And it is almost invariably unsatisfactory to both parties, unless the guy is incredibly patient and takes it slow and gentle with lots and lots of foreplay.
How many guys like that are there kicking around, available? More than you might think, but the odds are against you still. It usually won't be until somewhere between the third and tenth time that you actually start enjoying it a lot, as you find out what works best for your body, and what works best for him.
Admitting you are a virgin is nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone was once. And who knows - your guy may well be one of the patient and careful ones that makes even the first time a joy, and sets an impossibly high standard for any that follow.
Not my question, but what about the part about being embarrassed to tell him. I'm not embarrassed about being a virgin, but never giving oral is embarrassing...thoughts?
Not my question, but I'm not embarrassed about being a virgin, but never giving oral, embarrasses me...thoughts? Should I tell him? Will he know?
I am also a virgin. I am not embarassed and I am 23. I am regularly pursued and find myself quite beautiful and any guy would be lucky to be with me (as I would also be lucky to be with them!). I don't think they view my virginity as any bit of a turn off because I view whoever gets to share that with me as someone VERY special. I think the same goes for oral sex. Let them know you have such high standards that there is no way you are getting close to that without them really impressing you. Don't be embarassed, I wouldn't. If you want to seem mind-blowing (ish) the first time, read cosmo. ;-)
Never, NEVER read Cosmo! It is soul poison!
Pity me. It is part of my job.
you SHOULD be proud :) that show a lot more character than most ordinary people. Congratulations.
Not my question, but I'm not embarrassed about being a virgin, but I am about never having given oral...thoughts? Should I tell him? Will he be able to tell?
Well, you are going a bit beyond my experience here, also never having given a guy oral.
Guys like getting oral, probably about as much a gal does. He'll probably not notice, as the first time with any partner is different from any other. Telling him, well, thats your call and depends on the relationship. If you feel comfortable telling him, do so. If you don't - don't.
And remember rule one. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, or trying something, then don't do it.
I'm proud to be a 13 year old virgin cause I go to a Catholic school
your 13 you probably should still be a virgin.
I find the "slow and gentle" comment somewhat offensive, and only perpetuating the stereotype that virgins are shy and fearful about sex. Just because someone is a virgin does not mean they need to be coaxed into having sex or wanting to: it could mean they just haven't met anyone they want to sleep with, or want to wait until a certain point in the relationship.
I definitely agree with you McKenna! Thank you!!
I'm 22 and am a virgin, Frankly.. i do find that it has PARTLY to do with the end of my relationship. (with my first & only boyfriend)
He had sex with 10 girls before me & his ex & him were always at it. I know he truly cared for me.. & we came close to having sex.
I am a little mad at myself for being so guarded & not trusting. I have mixed feelings. I feel like maybe I should have just done him when i had the chance. But at the same time, feel like i should be proud still being a virgin. (he became an asshole in the end)
There really is no right or wrong.