Hmm...so let me get this right: you actually get solo special friend time with your best guy friend despite the fact that he has a girlfriend? That's probably part of the problem right there. You think you're being nice by "sharing" your time and she's trying to figure out just who the flying **** you are to him that he's going out of his way to give you his spare time.
It really seems that ole girl doesn't really trust the relationship between you and your guy friend. You can say its platonic and hands off all you want but she's just not comfortable. And largely, that's not on you to do. It's his job to make her comfortable. He didn't do his part to make her comfortable in the beginning with the relationship between you two. My guess is that she's made a big to do about you all before and he blew her off AND went to go hang out with you afterwards. You're the innocent bystander here who's getting hit with the .45 hollow tip shells.
Look, I realize you have good intentions and you really want you all to be one big happy dysfunctional family, but your guy friend has to do all the massaging of feelings here. You have to just wait. He's got to convince her that though you're significant, you do not pose a threat. She probably (and rightly) figures that you know all of their business and he comes to you when they have issues. That's just not going to help out at all.
And we know some women can be very trifling. She doesn't trust the relationship so there's nothing you can do.
They'll probably break up soon (over you) so you'll get him back, anyway.
well touché...i don't want him back...i just want to be with him when i want to be with him without this other party having to be consulted...is that so terrible? :)
actually molly, i think that is terrible. now that he has a girlfriend she's a bigger priority in his life. if you had a boyfriend who hung out at his best girl friend's house all the time without telling you wouldn't you think something was a bit sketch?
It's amazing how some people don't have the ability to think from others points of view. Especially when it comes to standard relationship etiquitte.
that's trife!
Why would he give you, the friend most of his spare time if he wasnt romantically enticed by you? Maybe the two of you should stop pretending that you're biking in the park and playing arcade games, and just explore something. That way if it doesnt work, you can really learn how to take distance from one another when romantic relationships exist. I did this and me an my buddy are great friends today; it allowed us perspective and we realized that we ACTUALLY DIDN'T want each other AT ALL!
Are you being honest with yourself about how you really feel? If you are trying hard to get this g/f to like you, chances are she can read the falsity. I would relax with her and the pull you have on the dude, and in the mean time, check your own head.
I actually went through this same thing. I had been best friends with a guy since junior year in HS, and we told each other everything and hung out pretty much 24/7. Then he got a gf his first year of college, and I'm a very accepting person, so I was happy to become friends with her. However, it was difficult, and he'd tell me that she didn't like how he and I spent time alone together, that she felt threatened. I had never shown any intention of taking him away from her or trying to get with him as he was just like family to me. They were on and off a couple times, and I wouldn't be surprised if she had cheated on him, but after it was over and they broke up for the last time, I came to a surprising realization. I wasn't just happy he was done with her, I figured out that I had been jealous all this time because of my own feelings for him. So maybe you don't have feelings for him, but you just might be in denial like I was for years. After I told him how I felt, he told me he had been in love with me since HS, and we are finally together and couldn't be happier.
So just try and see if you really only care for him as a friend, or if there's something more you're not admitting to yourself for fear of ruining the friendship etc. If it is just a friendship, then try getting together with his gf just you two, and get to know her without him around. She might feel more comfortable if she knows you better and it won't look like you have anything to hide if you're innocent. The other thing that might be intimidating to her is being around you two together. I'm sure it makes her feel like there's some joke she isn't in on. Plus if she's a great girl for him, chances are she'll be around for a long time and it would be good to get along with someone so important to your friend.
Hope that helps a little bit, and good luck!