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!help!!! My bf has never ejaculated during intercourse. hes been unable to with any of his partners. he wont go to the doctors about it. any ideas? thanks!

Your boyfriend is experiencing a physical problem, a psychological problem, or a mix of both. And problems like those don't resolve themselves on their own.

For as long as he refuses to see a doctor, his health issue is not going to get better. And he knows this. My guess is that he's apprehensive to see a doctor because he's scared of what the doctor will tell him. He's not thinking about how much his impotence is impacting you or your relationship. He's only thinking about hearing some kind of bad news.

Because this is the case, there really isn't much you can do to get him to make an appointment with a urologist and/or a psychologist. He's going to go if and only if he's ready to. But I would recommend telling him how his problem makes you feel. Tell him that you're not angry at him, but this is an issue that is creating distance between the two of you. Tell him that you know that seeing a doctor is hard, but you would like him to do it.

What he does after that conversation is entirely up to him. But hopefully he'll do the smart thing both for his health and the health of your relationship.

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4 Comments

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I needed to read this. My boyfriend has the same problem. I've asked for couples counseling twice, first he said no, second time he said "let's wait and see how things go." He's in the military and leaves in two months. I also know that he watches porn everyday and have watched my sex life dwindle. At this point I feel like the only thing I can do for myself is walk away.

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Um...is he able to get/stay hard but unable to ejaculate at all? That isn't impotence but retarded ejaculation.
Do you mean he never cums in any way or just doesn't while inside you during intercourse...as in he finishes himself off manually afterward or some variation thereof?
If he never cums that is serious.
If it is the later though perhaps you two can just work together to over come it over time. There are many sites on-line that offer suggestions about how to go about 'retraining' that can be helpful. If he can make himself cum it isn't likely medical.
A guy can get used to cumming one way just as a woman can get used to coming just with a powerful vibrator. And that is without delving into the psychological or emotional possibilities.

user-pic

Um...is he able to get/stay hard but unable to ejaculate at all? That isn't impotence but retarded ejaculation.
Do you mean he never cums in any way or just doesn't while inside you during intercourse...as in he finishes himself off manually afterward or some variation thereof?
If he never cums that is serious.
If it is the later though perhaps you two can just work together to over come it over time. There are many sites on-line that offer suggestions about how to go about 'retraining' that can be helpful. If he can make himself cum it isn't likely medical.
A guy can get used to cumming one way just as a woman can get used to coming just with a powerful vibrator. And that is without delving into the psychological or emotional possibilities.

user-pic

he doesnt cum during intercourse usually we have sex and then after ill give him a hj or a bj to help him orgasm but its not usually an easy task and usually quite rough. he also use to watch heaps and heaps of porn aswell..

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