There's no such thing as "normal" when it comes to sex, particularly when it comes to male endurance. One guy might be able to last for a long time, and another may only last a short time. But both men are perfectly healthy sexually.
So the focus here shouldn't be "is he normal or isn't he?" but "are we compatible or aren't we?" Regardless of what his excuse is, if you're not happy with what's happening in the bedroom, then you have every right to want to change things. It doesn't matter if he's your first. You know what you like and what you don't.
You do need to bring this up with him, because the situation as it stands now really can't continue. The key is talking about it without hurting his feelings. I suggest bringing it up as a project that you can both work on. Pitch it as a team effort. Not that I want to put words in your mouth, but perhaps some of these phrases may tumble out:
-What can we do to have more fun?
-Is there anything you want me to do?
-There's no pressure, just be yourself and relax and don't worry about it.
Just be honest with him, be kind and be patient. Some guys do get better with time, as they figure out how their body works when it is in contact with someone else's. Expect him to work at it, but don't expect it to take forever. If it's months from now and he's still not able to give you what you want, then you might want to consider moving on.
Foreplay foreplay foreplay... you get a head start! it's the only way you stand a chance in that scenario.
And then: if he "gets his" before you do, don't accept the roll over. He can bring you to the big finish with his hands or a vibrator. (or you can!)
Wait, does he reach orgasm in a couple minutes or is he going soft by then? It's not clear to me (or if it is, I could just be clueless lol). I'm curious because it's kind of opposite situations that require different approaches to work out.
I'm pretty confident that ANY woman who says her man "only lasts" a couple of minutes means he comes in a couple of minutes. If she meant he goes soft that's usually what the woman says.
And yes I did 7 yrs with a 2 minute wonder who didnt care less if I came by any means, I did most of the 7 yrs finishing myself while he was at work, and kind of thought it was all to be expected from men. But since leaving him I have found out that MOST men last longer than this, and some even *SHOCK* care if you come or not.
Please talk to him about it, he may relax and last longer, or it may just be normal for him and he needs to find ways to please you, if he doesnt huni, you need a new man, trust me on this.
Not always though. I've heard women using "lasts" in reference to their man getting soft only and not ejacuting. As if turned out, those men ended up having a condition of dangerously low blood pressure and their going soft was an indicator of it. Once they got the right their problems were solved.
I'll agree that sensitivity in approach is the order here.
LOL your ex sounds like a selfish clod. The "wonder" is you put up with him for seven years, with most women I know he wouldn't have lasted seven days.
Keep your expectations realistic. If I had based sex off of what my friends told me, I would've thought sex (as in actual penetration) lasted at least an hour. That's what movies and books tell you too. If you are expected something like that, then you need to adjust your expectations.
Ask him to go slow because you want to enjoy him. Slower movements should help him last. Be on top. It's more shallow penetration thus less stimulation. 5 minutes isn't worryingly short so long as he's making sure you enjoy it.
What the hell kind of people are you guys having sex with? This is the one answer by Mystery Man and Co that I refuse refuse refuse to accept. 5 minutes is bad. Especially since I'm sure you mean in its entirety. Foreplay! Tell him to pull it out and compose himself when he feels like finishing. Breathing also works. But damn, do something..