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Hey GBFF, I can't tell if I'm intimidating to guys or if they think I'm stuck up or what. I'm fairly shy when I like a guy, so I usually clam up. Sometimes this can come off as me being snooty. I'm also good at a lot of different things, and I even moved to a different country by myself. Am I just scary to approach?

I doubt that you're intimidating to guys. While I hear women say this I don't truly think its an actual occurrence nine times out of ten. I think what happens is that your "snooty" look tends to come across as "I'm not open for business so don't even think about speaking to me or else I'll bit off our head and your little dog too."

Guys can sniff that out in a heartbeat. Seeing as rejection is a very real thing, many fellows will attempt to forego rejection by sizing up the various women around hoping that they'll come across one who looks inviting. That's who we go for. Nobody likes rejection.

In terms of guys you like and clamming up; while I understand that happens, you might need to realize that it doesn't intimidate men, it is an outright indicator that we should just leave you be. Not that you have to keep a silly grin on your face or totally fake the funk, but just like with anything, a person that looks scary is going to get the least amount of interaction.

So smile more. Or something.

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Many women don't understand their role in courtship. They expect the guy to do everything. Women control the pace. The guy's job is to escalate. If you like him, you must give him green lights. It's essential to the process. So smile, act interested, and behave as if you enjoy his company and want more. You cannot clam up just because you're a woman. You need to do your job so he can do his. Of course you can approach guys, escalate, and ask them out yourself. Then you'll understand how much easier it is if the object of your affection could at least smile or express an affinity toward you. Some people give nothing, so they get nothing.

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