Dear Friend held in "highest esteem" -
Your guy friend was very nicely telling you he views you as a friend. You know who else gets held in high esteem? Professors, elder statesmen, Queens, and authors. Basically people who do things that are to be held in high esteem even if the majority of us couldn't care less about them.
Any time a man says something that indicates that he thinks you're a great person in any way shape or form, and you're not dating, he's effectively telling you that you never will date and because he respects you as a person, he also won't be looking to you for some poon. See, us men, we're funny like that. Dogs like no other, but if we respect you, we stay hands off. Which is ironic considering our hands off policy usually happens with women that actually want our hands on their knockers. Yep, God does have a sense of humor.
So from here on out you should probably temper any moves you were making towards this chap. In fact, I'm sure him telling you he holds you in the "highest esteem" was his way of attempting to let you down easily. So run with the wind towards another totem pole. Or go date another person who's also held in high esteem...like a president.
are you kidding me? this sort of reads to me then that men would rather sleep with/date women they don't respect, and that they would keep their "hands off" the ones that they do....seriously???
Sorry BFF, but I have to disagree with you on this. Maybe the term "high-esteem" was used as an easy let down, but that doesn't mena that is the reason he may not be interested - if in fact he is not interested. I have had a number of guys tell me that they respect me, or that I have great qualities, and a number of these guys are hitting me up for dates. Maybe there are some boundaries that this friend fears crossing for risk of losing a friend that he respects. If this is the case, and if the asker is interested in this guy romantically, she could ask him what he meant by that and attempt to make it clear that they can have an adult relationships in which they can still try to be friends if it doesn't work out.
I'm just saying, I had a guy tell me that he didnt wanna "lead me on too much." After a looooong time of wondering what that meant, I asked him, and he said he really doesn't know what he was trying to communicate when he chose those particular words, and that I have great qualities (I think this means he respects some things about me) and we can definitely hang out and see where it goes.
To the asker, I say ask the guy straight up what he means and if he might consider you to be someone he will date. Just don't make him uncomfortable by making him feel pressured and it should work out that you can find out without losing a friend if he isn't interested romantically.
i find that guys tend to hit on the especially snarky chicks this way.