As a man, the sentence I hate hearing (and reading) the most in life is: "we need to talk."

I'd rather that Roseanne Barr tied my wang to some dental floss and pulled with her all her might than hear that sentence. I hate it that much. And do you know why? It's because it usually comes at the most inopportune time. Or completely out of the blue.

No woman has ever said "we need to talk" at a great time to talk. Nope. It usually comes in the morning when I'm on the way to work and I have to wait all day to hear you say we should reconsider our tile choice. Or it comes while I'm doing something I really want to be doing.

Now, the other reason why advanced notice on "we need to talk" sucks is because this is what happens in the male mind:

Oh no. We need to talk. We need to talk? I wonder what happened. Is she pregnant? It can't be that can it? She wouldn't just sit on something that serious all day long. Then what else could it be. Did I do something wrong? Is she cheating on me? (Panama's note - granted this is the "in relationship" version) blah blah blah.

Here's the "not in relationship version" -

Oh no. We need to talk. We need to talk? I wonder what happened. Oh my God I hope she's not pregnant. She wouldn't play me like that all day would she? Naw. This must be that relationship talk. What do I want? What does she want? I dont know. Man we just met. I thought we were good! She can't possibly know about that other chick can she? I mean we ain't together. We're just coolin'. Right? I hope she knows that. What if she tells me she only has one leg!!!!!! Or 7 fingers! Hmm. That would be weird. Never dated a chick with seven fingers before. I suppose I could give it a try. Like I remember that one day, at band camp, where the chick with the leotard and a fish hook came into my classroom and...blah blah blah...

All day for seven hours.

My advice. Just get to it directly. He'll thank you in the morning.