How exactly is he sending mixed signals?
Oh, and heeeeeeeeeeeeey DC boo!
So yeah, mixed signals? I don't see 'em. For one, you ended the situation. Not him. And he was being honest with you. So you made the right decision for you. Did you expect him to just go home, sit, and sulk away the pain of losing you? You said he's dating others...which implies plural.
Basically, your dude wasn't ready to wife you down, you bailed, and now he's out there dating because face it, the man has needs. I'm sure he's telling those other women that he's not ready for a relationship either and they're either deciding to stick it out in hopes that they'll change his mind or just waiting for the right time to jump ship on him like you did.
I don't view any of it as mixed signals. He likes you but he can't be what you need and you don't want that right now. Fair enough. He respects it. But you can't seriously expect him to NOT date anybody else.
It's almost like you think that you can date other people because you're looking for something meaningful, but he can't because he's not. Maybe when he is ready you'll be available. Maybe not. But he's not sending mixed signals. You just don't like what you're seeing out there.
actually he sending mixed messages if he is saying he isn't ready for a relationship but could see himself marrying her.
I think it's pretty mixed also. telling someone youd like to marry them someday seems almost like "please wait around for me while I check out these other girls".
In that case, it's not really mixed, is it. You just spelled it out, after all. He's telling her that one day, he could see himself marrying her, because she's "the marrying type" or whatever. But obviously he's not ready for that yet, or else he would be engaged to her right now.
What you said is exactly right--I'd bet on it. He wants to play the field, and then come back to her when he's ready to settle down. Not saying that the asker should wait on him or anything, but that's obviously what he's hoping for.
He said he "could" see himself marrying her one day.
I hate when guys say I "should" have gone out with you when I "could" have. Don't bet on it. It's an empty compliment that they somewhat mean. He's a JERK. He doesn't know what he wants and that messes you up...
Oh hey! This question was from me! Cool!!
Anddd thanks for the answer, man! Great to get a third party dude opinion. He claimed that the timing was off, and that perhaps down the road would be a better time. I just didn't want to believe him. Now I guess I do believe in timing. He just wasn't "ready" and was being honest.
But what I neglected to say was that he came back (after I had originally decided to end things) and said he was ready, and then changed his mind after a week. I was pretty hurt. He continued to keep contacting me, telling me "he didn't know what he wanted" and I had to just tell him to stop because it made things harder. That is what the "mixed signals" were to me at first.
Oh well... just gotta get back on that horse!
He's not ready for a commitment yet, that's what it is. Maybe that's another way for saying the timing's off, maybe it isn't, but however you want to put it, he's not emotionally mature enough to want a real relationship right now. Still, it's not very nice or considerate of him to keep coming back to you and leaving you and coming back and leaving all over again. It's actually very selfish. It may not be conscious on his part that what he's doing is hurtful, but that doesn't detract from the fact that it is. You did the right thing by ending things. I know it's not an easy thing to do. Good luck!
Agreed. It was like he was keeping me at arm's reach just to make sure I'd still be there. Thanks for your comment!
Well then yes, those all would be mixed signals. From your initial question, I didn't get that (though others disagree clearly).
Based on his actions, you made the right call. Just let it burn like Usher would advise. A man who doesn't know what he wants is as dangerous as a woman who's hellbent on getting what she wants.
Panama - Does a guy's "readiness" ever go out the window when he meets the right girl? Or is he willing to let the right girl go, and really think that someday it could be the right time?
Seems like a big risk.
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