Men who routinely chase considerably younger women are insecure in bed. The theory goes that a young woman who doesn't have much sexual experience is easily impressed by an older man who might have slightly more.
Let me stress the word "routinely" in that first sentence. Love can be an atom bomb that flattens differences in age, race, or religion. It's a crap shoot to win that kind of love. The odds are against you. That's why it's such a valuable jackpot. Normally, two people meet, shake hands, lock eyes, and instead of a nuclear blast, it's just a wet fart.
But every so often, one person is a detonator and the other is fissile material. Ka-boom. Disparities in age be damned. If you find a person you can split atoms with and he or she is ten years younger or older, or a different religion or race or whatever then... whatever.
But a dude who makes a habit of going after only young women has confidence issues. Not to mention an inability to relate to his own peer group. Sadz. Beware of this guy.
That said... no offense but you're a seventeen year old girl. Jailbait. Underage. A kid. I'm sure you're very mature for your age and you clearly have awesome tastes in websites.
There is alot of growing up that happens between your age, and twenty one. I swear I'm not being condescending. I'm in my 30's and still have some growing up to do; occasionally I fear that it will never end. I guess what I'm saying is -- be careful of any older dudes you chose to get with.
Some are creeps who lick their lips over tight-bodied Lolitas. Some are dudes who like being the worldly daddy. It's not impossible that you might ignite with one. Just be skeptical.
Lecture over. Time for some fortified milk... AND VODKA.
The man speaks the truth.
Even though I protest the "jailbait" bit... But I'm Canadian, and since they just changed the age of the consent from 14 to 16 (but if you're underage, you can still sleep with someone up to 5 years older than you) I've been "legal" for almost 4 years now.
I digress.
After my last break up - my boyfriend was 22, so there was a 5 year age difference - I've quickly learned that even though I can't stand guys my age, the ones I date that are older than me tend to be even worse. And I mean, HORRIBLE, like, "I'm not your mother, grow up, and GROW A PAIR."
Just stay single. And don't give them your number if you don't want them to call.
John, thank you very much for taking the time out to respond to my OH SO amazing question, I really appreciate it. Very often, I find myself being put in the situation of having to deal with older men hitting on me, and in most instances, they seem to have a very hard (no pun intended) time getting the hint that I am NOT interested. I don't usually go the route of being like "Get away from me perv, I have no interest in your steroid filled muscle self OR your boner, for that matter, being within a close proximity of me"; however, I REALLY don't know what to say in order to get them to direct their advances elsewhere, because whenever I show any disinterest I actually feel bad for coming across as obnoxious or mean or like “pshh I’m better than you”, because I’m not that kind of person at all…The men I’m talking about (not speaking for all, but most) truly MUST be brain-dead because more often than not, they are unable to comprehend the meaning behind a simple and polite, "No. Thanks Anyway. I. Am. Good". Even BETTER, just walking away isn’t always guaranteed to do the trick; many times they feel inclined to actually follow me as I walk away from them...interesting concept, because I personally always thought that when someone walks away from somebody else it means ADIOS AMGIO. Guess I was wrong about that one, ohh silly me! I’m not saying they follow me down the street… fully decked out in a black cape AND dark shades, but they’ll just continue on persisting. I'm petite and not tall by any means( & done growing, unfortunately), so it puts me in an uncomfortable position to have to tell persistent and pushy men much taller and bigger then me to back off even though I know they’re probably not gonna like do anything (the majority of the men I’m talking about look like very normal guys; but I go into the city pretty frequently, and I guess that plays a part into what I’m dealing with, because with everywhere I go there are always tons of older men around). ANYWAYS I asked my question in the first place because I thought it would help me understand why men go for younger women like myself (or as you like to put it, KIDS haha yea THANKS for that John) and while I get the reasoning behind their lovely advances now, it would be of much help if you gave me some helpful insight as to how I could possibly stop getting hit on by older men who are not only insecure in bed but also lack in confidence AND have an inability to relate to their own peer group. (Ya know, it really is tough turning down SUCH winners!) Or, maybe you could just let me in on some tips in regards to how I could approach the situation differently and effectively so that the men will back off and end with saying “Okay youngin, I am sorry for taking all my insecurities out on you, now go run along and have a great night!”.
P.S I hope you enjoyed your fortified milk AND vodka…what a uhhh, UNIQUE combination! & thanks, I know you weren't being condescending :-)
also, i'm just realizing that I've written a NOVEL for a comment. Sorry Sorry Sorry!
You absolutely have the right to be rude to them, not talk to them/ignore them and be straight forward with them. I live in the city and I look much younger than I really am and I get older guys bothering me all the time. They have no right to bother you no matter what your age is and they KNOW what they are doing is unappropriate so feel free to let them know that you are not an ignorant girl waiting to be tricked by the next wolf in sheeps clothing. I felt the same way, that I am a polite girl and didn't want to seem rude. Bottom line is that they are behaving unappropriately, especially if they are making you uncomfortable, you have every right to take care of yourself and make sure that you are safe and comfortable. Remember they know it's wrong.
Question, do you LOOK older than 17? And are you sneaking into places where a 17 year old doesn't belong?
It's okay, we've all done it! But if not, and you're just getting those LOVELY men who approach you on the street and insist on a phone number then here's what I've learned you can do:
Throw your age in their face.
And when I say age, I mean "I'm 15!" or "I'm 14!" The lower you get, the more likely they'll get the idea to step off.
Mention that your "Daddy" is in the area and you were just going to meet him. "Daddy" doesn't like men talking to you. EVER.
For the creepy ones who won't let you pass without a number:
Run. Don't walk away, step up your pace and don't look back. Who cares if it hurts their feelings? You have no interest in them, but if they don't want to take the hint you pull out all the juvenile stops to make them understand it's NOT going to happen.
Sorry hon, but men who persist when you politely decline, don't deserve niceties.
Be mean. Their ego will recover. There's no point in trying to spare their feelings, they'll get over the rejection and start drooling over another young girl. Stop trying to be decent to them because it makes them think they have a chance, which they don't. Be mean, walk over, get it over with and continue on your day.
I don't know what John has to say about it, but as another 17-year old "kid", that's my take. :)
Brie has a valid point Allison. Do you find yourself in places where a 17-year old "doesn't belong" when you are getting hit on? That would more than likely be the first step to eliminating this problem.
Lastly, you are probably a little hot, hottie; therefore, Daddy wants a piece :)
I started dating my fiancee when I was seventeen, with him being five years my senior. Granted I was quite lucky.
I think most guys who are considerably older, and hitting on a minor are more or less looking at them as a piece of meat. I can remember one time I was out, at age 16, with my family no less, and our waiter (who was quite obviously in his late twenties) was blatantly hitting on me. That's just, well, creepy.
"Puppy", thank you...I actually have to make it clear though that I personally don't even necessarily find it WRONG, in some cases i just find it to be WEIRD and very a-nnoy-inggg. I mean, i think if i was 13, well then THAT'S wrong but I am 17, soon enough i'll be 18, and it is what it is. That's just my opinion though, i'm sure there are many people who agree with it and disagree with it.
Brie/VKnoxville thank's for your take on the situation ... I can't really say that I look older or younger than 17...From what I can tell, many guys pick up on the fact that I'm a teenager. They'll be times when I'm just walking alone to a friend's apt. in the city, and I'll pass guys, then one of the guys will start to hit on me and his friend will be like "mannn, stop she's a teenager!" But i don't know, i look 17 but i def. don't look like a kid...like sometimes men think i'm like 20 (or at least that's what they tell me), which I don't understand because while I may put on heels and like a cute little dress or whatever, i never actually dress like a HO at all. SOO I GUESS I DON'T REALLY HAVE AN ANSWER FOR YOU haha...and in terms of being in places where a 17 year old doesn't belong: sometimes I guess that's the case; however, in those instances, the guy at the door just lets me in so technically it's OK that i'm in there ;-). At the same time, that obviously plays a part in it, if I only spent my time at the Bronx Zoo I'm sure I wouldn't be getting hit on by older men as much! :-P...and in terms of your suggestions..
1. i don't think I could get away with lying about my age
2. my "daddy" is a short& oh sooo cute little Jewish guy, and if they saw him (in the case that they wanted to see if I was telling the truth or not), they would not only crush him but potentially kill him along with his cuteness...so I'm not even going to bring him up and say "i was just about to meet him"...i mean i REALLY would be putting him in danger haha, not gonna do that to the poor guy!
3. I'm not going to run, I would look like a lunatic...power walking MAYBE, wouldn't run though. Ehh, maybe i should start throwing temper tantrums? That could work :-)
4. I CAN'T BE MEAN :-( honestly, whenever ANYBODY acts mean, or creepy, or inappropriate towards me (that goes for everything and anywhere in my life), I'm the kind of person that just thinks about the unfortunate causes that made them that way. I swear, I'm NOT even bull shitting you...Everybody is who they are and acts a certain way towards people because of a combination of different life experiences that shaped them to be that way, and i'm going to treat them poorly just because they're treating ME poorly in a sense, ya know? Like, men aren't going to continuously pursue a 17 yr old, (even if they're really attracted to the girl) whom they know is uncomfortable with their advances IF THERE WASN'T SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM
Meredith- Congratulations on being engaged! At the end of the day, that's probably the best explanation for it..I think dudes would have a higher success rate if they just set their sights on ,and pursued a good, reasonably priced steak, RATHER than a minor. Dish out some $, and there ya go, a nice fresh and juicy slab of meat WITHOUT having to chase it AND bother it and AND freak it out...and U G HHH I know how you must have felt, that happened to me recently at Applebee's! my waitress told me that a few of the waiters and guys in the kitchen wanted to know if my twin sister and I were single, and they asked her to get our number's because they thought we were "really hot"...she said they were all high 20's...and it was GREAT because she told my sister and I about them at the table in front of our whole family,...which then resulted in my parents and brothers talking and laughing about it and OMGing it for the rest of our dinner...BEST FAMILY DINNER OUTING OF MY LIFE, straight up... And you're so funny: "That's just, well, creepy," what did you say to the guy when he was hitting on you in front or your family?
DISCLAIMER: i KNOW i just typed waaaay too much. I guess I just couldn't help myself, hmm kinda like...
This was quite helpful, i tend to find myself in this situation ALL the time! it's soo very annoying, its like plz, im 17, leave me the hell alone..Yes, i look older then 17, so i cant really lie about being younger, and if my father was involved, well, alot of times its his friends (creepz me out) and he does NOTHING about it -.- (needless to say i dont live with him anymore)...I mean its everyone one from married men, my teachers, and COPS! i kno in missouri the legal age is now 17, but sheez, can they not get the point im not interested! Any ideas on how to get these pervs to turn the other way??
"Any ideas on how to get these pervs to turn the other way??" - Ashley
Get a burka so they can't see you :P
the creepy DeVore is that you just explained my older brother (26), he's going out with a girl about my age (17). She's a total emotional trip and claims she's pregnant with twins or triplets every other day...oy vey.
if you're going places where a 17 year old girl does NOT belong, like say, a club, then why are you complaining that guys are paying attention to you?
Um, sweetie, you're supposed to be 21.
This question sounds like you're really asking "Whyyyy am I so hot that the guys won't leave me alone?!" but you don't want to sound conceited so you're waiting for someone to say it.
So I will. I'm sure you're a very pretty girl and guys tend to be attracted to pretty girls. If you don't like their attention, stay out of the clubs and stay home.
Or take Brie's advice and be mean, instead of fueling your ego more.
Just because a 17 year old girl is getting hit on by older men all the time does NOT mean she's at the bars or clubs all the time or at all, i'm 17, this happens to me all the time and i've never been to a bar or club, and its not about egos, its just very annoying and i dont like being rude
THANK YOU Ashley :-)
& No thank you JenPark for your false, unproductive, and downright obnoxious comment.
I like the Reformed Player's take on this. However, I, like most guys, find younger women more attractive. I draw the line at 18 for legal reasons. But I would totally take a young and hot girl over most 25+ saggy lady any day. Wouldn't you?
So it can have nothing at all to do with confidence.
Tell the creeps that you like younger men :-D
Because when you turn 25 and over, you start getting saggy Garry?
Because when you turn 25 and over, you start getting saggy, Garry. lol
And Allison, you should invest in mace. Every girl needs to protect herself.
http://megaink.blogspot.com/
I totally understand this question. I started as a lifeguard when I was fifteen and yeah, I had college guys coming up and flirting. I just politly declined any numbers, dates, etc and continued guarding and doing my job. Even some of my male co-workers were surprised to find I was so young. I still work there(now I'm in college) And no, no clubs or anything. I often get hit on by guys at the most random places, like grocery stores. So just because a younger girl is getting hit on, doesn't mean she is in a club.