Guyspeak Newsletter Signup

Wise-Ass

 
Next Answer »
userpic
userpic

Hi Cary! I've been thinking of getting my bf something that he really wants for xmas. It's kinda expensive but i can manage. Do you think he's worth it if he's not 100% good all year? He did some major bad things but he showed remorse. I love him very much and we're moving on. What do you think?


I think maybe you've been listening to too many Christmas songs about Santa.

The gifts we give people should have nothing to do with their behavior throughout the year. They are gifts, not rewards: they aren't earned, but given freely by us because we love the receiver. If everyone's Christmas gifts were based on how naughty or nice we were throughout the year, none of us would get what s/he wanted.

How would you feel if your boyfriend gave you a hamster for Christmas and said, "I was going to get you a puppy, but you did some bad things this year, so you get a rodent instead"? I know that parents use the threat of inferior gifts as a way to encourage good behavior in their children, but does any kid ever really get a lump of coal? No, we give them nice presents because even when they are naughty, they are our kids and we love them.

Part of Christmas is, as you say, moving on: letting go of the hurts and slights and misdeeds we suffered during the year, forgiving people and showing that you love them in spite of themselves. And thank goodness for that, because who among us is perfect?

If you love him, yes, he is worth it.

Thanks for the question.

Talk 4
Love it? Hate it? 9
Got A Question? Ask Your Own. »

4 Comments

user-pic

So true! Many have lost sight of what gift giving means at its basic level.

user-pic

"so you get a rodent instead" Hahahahaha! Oh my, that made me laugh! :-D

Erin Marie

What a depressing thought. That some people base the gifts the give others off of whether or not they're "worth it".

user-pic

As much as we may want to, not many of us could not afford to splurge on every gift we give. We most certainly spend according to our means what someone is worth to us. The poster is wanting to get her bf a present that will cost more than she can afford because that's what he wants and making him happy makes her happy. She loves him.

If you and your significant other were having problems, would you break bank for him? Yes, because you love him. But if he cheated, stole, or abused you - then you are a SAINT. Her question is should she? Only she knows what "major bad things" are but if she's asking, she's questioning this herself.

Leave a comment

(You may use HTML tags for style)

Get GuySpeak in your inbox.

Choose the newsletters you'd like to receive:

Trending Topics

  1. 95 entries are tagged with
  2. 59 entries are tagged with
  3. 70 entries are tagged with
  4. 61 entries are tagged with
  5. 57 entries are tagged with
  6. 214 entries are tagged with
  7. 91 entries are tagged with
  8. 864 entries are tagged with
  9. 60 entries are tagged with
  10. 64 entries are tagged with
  11. 57 entries are tagged with
  12. 93 entries are tagged with
  13. 89 entries are tagged with
  14. 61 entries are tagged with
  15. 53 entries are tagged with
  16. 150 entries are tagged with
  17. 183 entries are tagged with
  18. 63 entries are tagged with
  19. 55 entries are tagged with
  20. 79 entries are tagged with
  21. 60 entries are tagged with
  22. 237 entries are tagged with
  23. 499 entries are tagged with
  24. 95 entries are tagged with
  25. 58 entries are tagged with