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Hi Girl's BFF, I had an old flame contact me a couple days ago with the strangest request. He wants me to become his girl confidant and talk about sex, relationships, life etc. I was completely blindsided by this because I haven't heard from him since we parted and don't know what to do.

You're right. It's an odd request. You know what I've learned about people over my some 30-plus years on this planet?

People are odd. Folks have the weirdest expectations and desires of other people. He probably thought there was nothing wrong with that request. In fact, he's probably thinks thats because its been years, bygones are bygones and you two can move forward amicably and just be homies like the old days. Or something.

And maybe he's not wrong. In fact, you seem to be more confused that the request was made than by the request itself. It's like, "how dare you come at me after all of this time in this fashion!" You'd have a fair point...but that's what he did. So you can either ignore it or say yes and become penpals with the old flame and discuss things that apparently matter to him. It would seem that he values your opinion which I suppose is a compliment.

Either way, those are your options. Just ignore it all together (which is what I'd probably do to be honest - odd requests are not my bag, baby) or try to help his life get better with seemingly very little reciprocity for you.

Sadatay.

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3 Comments

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Wow, that IS a really weird request. I wouldn't do it if I were you. I think people from your past should stay in your past (with only one or two strong exceptions, i.e. an estranged family member who wants to make amends).

Also, don't you think it's a little suspect that the first contact he initiates with you since your split is to ask something of you? He could have reached out and asked if you wanted to be friends, but instead, he came at you out of the blue with a ginormous request that asks for a lot from you. My opinion - don't get involved.

Respond back by saying you don't think it's a good idea for the two of you to be a part of each other's lives anymore and that you'd like to leave the past in the past.

Good luck!

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Did he just break up with his current relationship? If he did, then it might be that he likes something about being openly communicate in the most recent relationship, but he wants you. It might be that he was hoping that your relationship will work better this time.

No matter what the circumstances are, it is odd to request this. If he wants you to be more open, why didn't he have some balls to be more open and told you about this when you were together? He's probably drunk when he calls you.

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Thanks for you everyone you your advice turns out he had just broken up with his gf wanted to be friends with benefits. I told him to take a hike.

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