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Hi! I have a gift etiquette question for the experts. I've been seeing a single dad for the past three months and I'm not sure what the rule is on Father's Day gifts. I'm a little worried that if I get him a gift it will look creepy, but if not, I'd be a total jerk. This whole dad thing is new to me. Advice?

Awww! That's very sweet that you want to get your new guy a Father's Day gift. But your instinct is right-- it's too soon in the relationship. Leave Father's Day to his kid's for now. Also, presumably he's spending the day with the kids, and you don't want to get in the way of that. (Unless he invites you along.) Getting him a Father's Day gift could put unneeded pressure on the relationship. And, yeah, if he's older than you, it could be weird. He might wonder if you're looking for more of a father figure than a boyfriend, or suddenly feel old.

That said, doing something nice for him around the holiday would probably be appreciated. If he's stressed out, offer a massage or take him to see X-Men: First Class. And definitely ask how he's spending the holiday with his kids. But save the gift and card for your actual dad. And don't forget to call your pop on Father's Day. He'd probably like to hear about your new boyfriend.
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7 Comments

imjustagirl

No even a card? Wouldn’t he think she just blew it off?

chrissie1101

i just posted this on facebook, but i hadn't even thought of this until the asker did lol just over the 3 months mark for us, and he didn't get me a mothers day gift, but he did call which i appreciated. i think these particular holidays are deeply personal to the ones that are being honoured, and my take on this would be unless or until the kids have actually been introduced to the SO, easing off in areas of parenting (advice, gifts, etc) is probably safer than sorrier. i wouldnt have felt blown off by him in any way if he hadn't even called tho.

Nick Nadel

Yeah, calling or doing something nice for him around the date seems like a better idea than a gift. A Father's Day gift or card feels like something you do when you're in a serious relationship or married.

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This guy is not your dad. Father's Day and Mother's Day are when children show their appreciation for THEIR parents, since every other day is in essence "Kid's Day". Acknowledge it, sure, but leave yourself out of it.

Selena

I would think that was the strangest thing if a guy bought me a Mother's Day gift. I am not his Mother, so why would he buy me a gift? It would be even weirder if it were only three months in. Mother's Day and Father's Day is when you celebrate YOUR Mother or Father. I received a Happy Mother's Day text from my guy, and that was perfect.

user-pic

I can SO relate to this! I've been dating a guy for 8 months. I debated this question for weeks before I finally decided. The added weirdness is that I'm 1/2 of his age... So I didn't want to emphasize on that. No need to focus on something that isn't normally a problem. His kids live out in Michigan, and we're in Maine, or I would've left him alone to spend time with his kids.
What I ended up doing is focusing more on what I would give a friend than what I would give a dad. It worked! He seemed to appreciate his gifts and the weirdness was kept to a minimal level.

user-pic

I just recently had this problem but the guy is a dad and he gave me a gift for christmas after 6months and he got upset and stopped talking to me because i didnt accept the gift "right". He is always kidding around and we are just fwb so when he gave it to me i was puzzled cause i know im not his number 1 girl. I focused on the negative but explained to him later that i didnt mean it ...but he didnt accept my apology...oh well

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