Allow me to answer this question by asking you a question. Let's say you go out and buy yourself a nice new car. It's all shiny and pretty. Similar to Kelis's milkshake, your car brings all of the boys to the yard. Goooooooooooo you!
Except, this pretty car requires constant care and attention because there is alway something else that is having an issue. You keep having to take the car in to get looked at, fixed up, or some light is constantly coming on alerting you to the fact that there's a problem.
So again, you're back to the shop. Again. To address some new issue that keeps coming up in this nice, shiny, pretty car that brings all the boys to the yard.
What would you do? Would you just be happy to have that nice new shiny car with all of the problems or would you consider opting out for another nice shiny car on the off chance that it doesn't give you nearly as many issues as the one you currently have? I think you'd probably get another car.
Now think of this in terms of high maintenance women. Sure you look nice but who wants to deal with somebody who's always got a light on indicating that there's somethign else wrong or in need? Nobody. Sure males can be attracted to a high maintenance woman, but over time, that constant need for whatever it is gets old and we'd just rather have a nice girl who is easy going and requires the necessary TLC and keeps running smoothly for 100K miles.
Should you change? Well that depends on you. If you feel like being high maintenance is hindering your ability to get and keep a man (assuming that's your goal) then maybe. But if you're good with yourself as you are and think that a man just needs to step up to the plate, then hey, do you, boo. But realize the only person who wants to deal with high maintenance is somebody who values the look over what they get in return.
As Black Sheep once said, the choice is yours.
It depends on how high maintenance you; one mans high maintenance is another's man's frumpy. I know that I'm a girl who loves to wear makeup and always look good. But on the other hand I can leave my house with no make up and rocking sweats. I don't get all crazy and moody if I don't look good. I may feel uncomfortable, but I don't announce it to everyone within a 100 feet me. I say as long as you're not constantly complaining about how you wish you had more time to get ready and making everyone miserable about it you're fine.
Well if you're a naturally high-maintenance person, then you should not change for the sake of meeting someone. Like Shakespeare said, to yourself, be true. It might take some time, but eventually you will find someone who accepts you for who you are now and not for some hypothetical person in the future. It's better that way, then being miserable because you put on a false front for someone else's benefit.
I don't think high maintenance girls just revolve around taking forever to get ready but more in their demeanor, I associate high maintenance girls with also being divas. It has to be their way or no way 95% of the time. They require lots of attention, and if they're not happy then your not happy. My brother's ex was like this and he finally got rid of her after about 6 yrs. Everything always turned into a fight, and he became a different person when he was with her. They always had to go to her family events, and she would never go to his. also, she started to become ungrateful. he got her an expensive purse for christmas, and she was like ” this isn't the big one, we'll have to go exchange it.” Yeah they had fun times together, and he enjoyed her company, but her spoiled selfishness took a toil on him, and his relationship. There's nothing wrong with taking the time to look good, but remember relationships are about compromise, respect, and enjoyment. You can't always have it your way.
I think you misunderstood something about the "looks" part in Panama's reply. Ugly girls can't be high maintenance, guys won't stand for it. Neither do "average" looking girls for the same reason. The barrier for entry to high-maintenance-hood is extreme attractiveness.
Now, you may return to the analogy.
A further car example, nobody will ever get a saturn or honda civic or hyundai that had a reputation for being high maintenance. If something is going to cost you that much effort, time, money, and stress, it needs to otherwise be top of the line. Ferrari, sure, Chevy Cavalier, not in its wildest dreams.
And none of the guys I know who drive Ferraris or the more expensive Beemers and Benz, and definitely the guy I know who drives Rolls put up with high maintenance. They'll trade the problem car for a new one in a heartbeat.
I don't think high maintenance girls just revolve around taking forever to get ready but more in their demeanor, I associate high maintenance girls with also being divas. It has to be their way or no way 95% of the time. They require lots of attention, and if they're not happy then your not happy. My brother's ex was like this and he finally got rid of her after about 6 yrs. Everything always turned into a fight, and he became a different person when he was with her. They always had to go to her family events, and she would never go to his. also, she started to become ungrateful. he got her an expensive purse for christmas, and she was like ” this isn't the big one, we'll have to go exchange it.” Yeah they had fun times together, and he enjoyed her company, but her spoiled selfishness took a toil on him, and his relationship. There's nothing wrong with taking the time to look good, but remember relationships are about compromise, respect, and enjoyment. You can't always have it your way.
I dont agree with Mr. X...you cant find someone who will love you for being high maintenance because its "you." Who are you? Deep down. I mean, we are all material creatures, our homes, clothes, etc. our bodies are material. The thing is, as with high maintenance women...we want it all. Smart men, nice cars, clothes, heels, etc....
I think you have to analyze who you truly are inside whether its that nerdy girl, that bubbly friend, or whatever. And try to bring that out, rather than focus on what material you want or show off, or whatever.
I am also a high-maintenance girl...I love fashion, I love nice things....I love everything classy....but inside Im just a shy nerdy girl who's looking for that one nice guy...AND thats what Im talking about.
I know a lot of low maintenance guys who are very sweet+smart+ nice but dont have the car, the house, the whatever...and most women wont give them the time of day.
Ive come to see this and am trying to change as well.
Good luck.
Well, high-maintenance doesn't always mean materialistic. Some high-maintenance people simply need constant validation and reassurance. Others simply need to be constantly told how good they are. Then, there are the materialistic types, which you are absolutely correct in saying everyone to an extent is materialistic, unless you're choosing to live in a cardboard box and live off of ramen and donating the remaining salary to charity, you're being a materialist. Materialism only becomes an issue when one defines themselves and/or others by material things.