You will know when he tells you, flat out. In very clear and uncertain terms.
Basically, until he uses the words *________* (insert your name) and "girlfriend" in the same sentence, you're playing the waiting game.
While actions so speak louder than words, especially with guys, there are still certain assumptions you cannot make without hearing definitive statements. Love, relationship, use of his CDs; none of those things are to be assumed short of verbal confirmation. Written is even better as it can be used in a court of law as a contract.
Hmm...quick question. You wrote this:
I have been dating my ex for over a year exclusively.
So you've gone back to your ex boyfriend and you're exclusively dating but have yet to know if you're officially his girlfriend? That sounds a bit odd to me. With somebody that you're already familiar with and comfortable with, how in the hell is it taking a year to determine your status?
And have you asked? If so, what did he say? Hate to say it, but my guess is that if he wanted you to be his girlfriend, he probably would have said so already. There's no learning curve like with a new interest. You already know what you're getting, save the changes you both hope you've made to make it last forever like a Keith Sweat song in the 80s.
I miss the 80s (even though I was too young to appreciate anything that didn't have to do with Thurdercats, GI Joe, and 3-2-1 Contact).
Anyway, if you're waiting on him to bring it up to you-after a year-you might as well wait on Benjamin Gates to find Atlantis. At least that's got promise. Ask him what's up, and see what he says. If his response has any hint of avoidance or elusivity, or if he comes back with some malarkey like, "what do you mean, where are we going? We're in a good place...etc..."
Basically, if he comes back with anything but a straight answer, well, you've got your answer. It's probably not going to happen.
And thanks for the compliment. Me love you long time.
It was written.
Lol Panama I use the word malarkey ALOT I was surprised to see someone else use it! I too was also young in the 80's at least enough to remember what Thundercats was and a lil bit of GI Joe XD but that's another subject for later :P PS Remember when girls wore skirts with leg warmers?
To the question asker. If the guy was your ex to start with that there can mean to alot of people that you guys broke things off for a reason and he could just be using you to just go have fun times with since he apparently doesn't have anyone else to go with. But then again YOU'RE the one saying YOU are being exclusive, but is he? Does he go out with his guy pals or hang out with other chicks? Did he even ask you if you guys could try again, or for that matter did you ask him about trying again? Was this question even asked?
How often do you guys even get together to go on a 'date'? Do you know 100% he's being faithful to whatever it is you guys even have? These are questions you must ask yourself because quite frankly if neither of you guys asked the other to try again and you guys go out just a few times a week it doesn't sound like anything beyond friendship. And if that's all he sees it as then odds are he's also playing the field meaning you're being faithful for what reason?
I agree with Panama flat out ask him because honey there's plenty more out there who would gladly fall head over heels and TELL you in some fashion that he's exclusive to you and making things work. So take a few moments to think about the questions I posed to you and if you have no clear answer for yourself on ANY of them ASK the guy what's going on. if he gives you malarkey over it then it's time to cut his sorry ass out and have fun yourself seeing what's out there. Though be wary of guys who try to give you expensive things by the 2nd date in my experience those ones became more stalkerish than any other kind I've dated so far.
Why are you waiting for him to determine your status? You need to talk to him, and make what you want clear. It could be that he's having a good time and is afraid that if the two of you declare your relationship, things may change. After all, you've been in a relationship with him before - it's possible that he just doesn't want a repeat of what caused the two of you to split in the first time. But it's also possible that he doesn't want that label for other reasons. Talk. Ask him what's up. Get any reasons out in the open so you know where you stand.
500 Days of Summer...no bueno
Thank you to Mr. Jackson for your answer and to those who responded. After reading my question again, I realized how bad I stated my question. I looked like a moron! LOL Me and my boyfriend were together for 3 years, we broke things off because of miscommunication. He called me back a few months later to patch things up and it worked. We started taking things slow and now do things as a couple. No, he doesn't hang out with other women. I am around his friends and family a lot. We are extremely close. I just thought it was funny how he never said okay you are my girlfriend again, right? Because all his friends and family know who I am and he doesn't have to re introduce me to anyone. Basically would a guy be embarrassed to ask again, if he feels it has already be implied?