I don't think you are crazy. Brave, yes. Crazy, no. And note to commenters - if I find a guy hitting any gal, my usual reaction is to put the sod in traction - OK?
I'll let you in on a wee secret. All guys have temper issues. It goes with the whole "being a human being" aspect of life. Every last one of them. And yes, it can be worrying. What will you accidentally do that triggers the ragingly violent beast that lurks in the souls of all men? Honestly, probably nothing you ever do will trigger it.
Most guys, apart from the completely Neanderthal jerks, reach for the physical violence hammer when they have absolutely nothing else left to respond with. It is both disgusting and completely wrong, but it does happen. Even I have been known to punch holes in doors or walls on occasion out of sheer frustration, though never with an audience. I have far too much self respect for that crap. Shy, low self esteem guys do tend not to be violent at all, though, as they simply know it doesn't work out well.
You might want to, very gently, find out actually why he hit his ex. Get the full story, before you start worrying too much and pulling the plug. For all you know at the moment, you may find yourself wishing he had hit her much harder.
Another silly comment. The word you're looking for there isn't men, but people. All people have the potential rage thing. It's not only something you need to watch out for in him, but also in yourself. And in my experience shy, low self esteem guys can often be very frustrated with their lives and with the world and if you give them an outlet for that, sometimes it can backfire. Tread cautiously.
Yeah be really careful and definitely keep your guard up. People with a history of violence and/or temper issues, depending on the extent, rarely ever reach a state of total reform or control.
From experience, I dated a guy who always had volatile emotions and temper problems, I don't think he ever hit a girl but he was in many, many, many, many fights and that's always there as a possibility with those kinds of people. It took a few months of dating but under the right (or wrong?) circumstances he went flying off the handle in a department store.
Just be careful and get out if your intuition tingles- never ignore your own gut.
Read up on abuse- all kinds (emotional and verbal AS WELL as physical) so that you are aware of the signs. Not to make you hyper-aware (so that you see things that aren't really there) but just to be safe rather than sorry. I didn't realize I was in an abusive situation until way too late and as well as costing me my self-esteem, self-respect, freedom, friends, a job and years of my life- it also added a ton of baggage to overcome before I could move on to a healthy relationship.
MM has a point here. I grew up in ahouse that was constantly filled with my parents' arguments and on a few occasions my father did hit my mother.
Before you all go nuts, here's what happened before he ever hit her.
*First time, she cornered him in an argument til he shoved her out of the way. She went after him, kneed him in the balls then grabbed his junk and yanked, hard, until he answered her questions. He hit her in the arm, hard enough that she let go, then shoved her aside and left the house immediately.
*Second time, she literally hit him over the back with a chair when his back was turned to her and then proceeded to beat him over the head til he slapped her and could once again escape.
He has NEVER been violent with any other child or woman since those two incidents. My mother, however, has physically attacked my siblings and I. I have fought my mother on more than one occassion as a means of self defense and as a means of defending my family.
For all we know, this guy the poster is concerned with experienced something similar.
Don't do it!!! This is the exact same thing I was thinking about 4 years ago. Same situation. I gave him a chance and he ruined my life. If I can save from the stuff I went trough take my advice and just go find a nice guy who isn't violent. I thought this guy I was with just had a bad past and was trying to change but sooner or later it gets bad. I stuck with him through counseling, jail and everything. The fist time he hit me I was pregnant with his baby. Then when she was born he beat me up right in front of her. She was a little baby then but still I couldn't let my daughter live like that I called the police kicked him out of my house and he continues to stalk me and threaten to kill me and burn my house down. It kills me all the time knowing my daughter has that guy for a father. Please take my advise there are a million good guys out there don't settle for a abusive one
Once upon a time, there was a guy, bad, but love has changed him ... ! The most ideal man in town...does not take long....and love makes difference.