Guyspeak Newsletter Signup

Funny Guy

 
Next Answer »
userpic
userpic

How can I get my boyfriend to buy me a piece of diamond jewelry without outright asking him?? We've been together 4 years, and we're not looking into marriage anytime soon so I'm not talking about an engagement ring here; I just think that after 4 years, it's time for some sparkly jewelry, darnnit!!!

Any time you work towards "getting" something in a relationship it sort of ruins the point, no? Gifts, material or otherwise should come from someone's own volition, not from hints or strategically placed Tiffany catalogues.

Besides, "How do I get diamonds?" sounds more like a heist than a relationship question.

I wonder if you guys have a four-year tradition of plopping big-ass gifts in front of each other. Perhaps diamonds are the logical next step to his last gift to you, or the logical return to a platinum Rolex timepiece you gave him last week for letting you watch "Love and Other Drugs" without interruption.

All I can say is in relationships you should shy away from manipulating partners to meeting your needs. I'm not saying this is an evil way to go, just not ultimately satisfying. It's like me posting nice comments about my own blog.

If the diamonds are abundantly important to you, my sense is he may already know. Four plus years isn't chump change -- perhaps he has plans that involve diamonds on a band, or is already half way through a layaway plan that involves signing over half his paychecks and farming out his kidney to a man in Dubai.


Talk 23
Love it? Hate it? 9
Got A Question? Ask Your Own. »

23 Comments

imjustagirl

You can’t make someone DO something. I think you want him to want to though.

user-pic

That seems a little unreasonable. When's the last time YOU bought HIM something extravagent?

Britannia

Who are you trying to be, Marilyn Monroe?

Diamonds are NOT particularly rare, the only reason that they're so pricey is that the companies DECIDED to make them seem desirable -- they literally have warehouses full of them all over the world, and they deliberately fluxuate their market availability in order to fulfill corporate desires. You're buying into a whole bunch of advertising that has no basis in reality.

Why don't you focus less on the attainment of shallow material goods and more on the ways that this man could show you love, like cooking meals or fixing your car or taking you out to do things you like to do, other than buying you overpriced minerals?

BlackTea-007

My ex gave me a subscription to my favorite magazine that I didn't even know he noticed I loved. Far more precious than diamonds to me.

BlackTea-007

Man, that first sentence of the question...yikes.

user-pic

When it's a couple weeks before your birthday (or Christmas). Bring him shopping with you. When you see a jewelry store point to to display case and say, "aw! those earrings are gorgeous!" go on and on about the earrings for a while. Then as your about to leave cast one last longing glance at them and sigh.
But seriously Funny Guy is right. You can't make people do anything you can only leave elephant sized hints.

user-pic

You're kind of contradicting yourself here, don't you think? Is the asker wants jewlery so bad she should fork out the money for it herself. That's what I do. I don't have other people buy me stuff. If I want something I buy it with my own hard earned money. It's far more aatisfying that way. In a relationship it's the little things that count :)

Selena

Women like this annoy me to no end. You are in a relationship for four years, he loves you and is faithful to you, you are happy and you're worried about a piece of jewelry?? Who cares about jewelry, buy it yourself if you want it. Be happy with the REAL things in life. A ring is not going to cuddle you and kiss you and be there for you when you're sick. When you're about to die are you going to look back on your life and think "Man, my relationship would have been so much better if my finger had something sparkly on it." What matters is your LOVE, not jewelry. When I get engaged I don't care what the ring looks like and I don't even care if it's a diamond or an opal or a diamonique from QVC. Besides, diamonds are too much money, money that can be better spent elsewhere. If my man wants to buy me jewelry whatever he chooses would be beautiful because it comes from his heart. I would not want anything I had to force someone to buy or do for me.

GalRetort

Ah, when you get married you don't care what the ring looks like, but you DO want a ring, no? This girl is saying her engagement/wedding ring is a long way away, so maybe she just wants something in the meantime.

Selena

I want a wedding band for the actual ceremony and I want a simple quiet ceremony where the focus is on the two of us and what we are committing to. I have had a diamond engagement ring before, and what came along with it was a man who slept with everything not nailed to the ground. The next time I face marriage as long as we have a healthy happy relationship I do not care about jewelry. A band to symbolize our marriage and to exchange during the vows, yes. An overpriced ring that means nothing in the long run, no thanks. If he chooses to give me something simple, that's ok but not a requirement.

mindybindy

Wow. I was begging my last boyfriend NOT to buy me expensive things because I knew it wasn't in his budget. Rather than focus on material things focus on your bond as a couple. If you're so focused on receiving jewelry I'm worried your priorities are not in order in the relationship.

rebelchild

Women like this make me want to scream. I HATE jewerly store commercials because they make all women seem shallow, self-absorbed and materialistic. And this question isn't helping. Frankly I don't know how he's put up with your materialism. If you are happy with him, and love him, then whatever he gives you should be enough. I'm ecstatic any time my bf gives me anything. I don't ask for anything except help with the bills and I definitely don't try to emasculate him when he gives me something. He gives me gifts from his heart, not his wallet. And I'm happy to get whatever he gives me. The best things he's ever given me were my cowboy hat and fishing pole. Both mean something to me because when I have either one out it means we are doing something together, either a concert where I'm all dressed up or sitting by the lake relaxing and talking. Those are the things that mean something. Not diamonds or sparkly jewelry, darnit.

chrissie1101

i'd be a happy girl to get a cowboy hat, thats a sexy gift darnit lol he probably wanted to see you in it m hm.

rebelchild

Lol. It matches his too. :)

chrissie1101

you could try digging into a pot of gold in front of him. that might send the message.

Mystery Man

You gals always crack me up.

Thanks :)

user-pic

I completely agree that trying to coerce someone into buying you expensive jewelry is ridiculous, but I will admit I have a soft spot for engagement rings. I would gladly save up, buy one for myself and wear it on my right hand if people wouldn't judge me. haha. In my current relationship I don't even expect gifts on holidays, I tell him if you find something you think I would like/ could use, if not I don't really need anything. Like others said it is the other little things that count and are what you "earn" from being in a relationship not the right to being showered with diamonds (slash just one)

user-pic

Sorry to the comments above... but I agree that 4 years is enough. Perhaps not even a diamond, but some sort of jewelry after that long is not unreasonable in my opinion. It's a gift showing he loves her-- everyone wants something different. If someone wants cooked meals, then he should do that for her. If she wants jewels, he should (try), especially after so long, to do so. I'm not materialistic at all, but I do think that it's a sign of love and respect. Perhaps that is just in my culture, but hey... I am rooting for you :)

Tariana

Yeah, I kind of think it's about time too. Not because the woman is shallow, but because she deserves it.

I think it's easy for other people to say she is materialistic just because she wanted diamonds or jewelry, but heck, if I were her and my SO gets me a piece of bling, I'd be happy and appreciative regardless of how many years we've been together.

Go and let him know you want something sparkly for your next anniversary or birthday. Just don't pressure him into buying if it's not within his budget, and most importantly, congratulations for staying together for 4 years! That in itself, nowadays, is a hard feat.

Selena

So if a man doesn't buy her jewelry it means he doesn't love her? Seriously?? What year is this???

Tariana

2011.

user-pic

Write a comment...

user-pic

Speaking from a relationship that has been going for 4 years plus, and something sparkly on my finger would be nice -- just an "I love you" and complete strangers should see and make note of it! It's more of an expression than about dollars; it's nice to have a constant reminder when wedding bands and engagement rings aren't exactly what we are looking for - especially when my hectic work schedule makes quality time a little more difficult to connect.

Leave a comment

(You may use HTML tags for style)

Get GuySpeak in your inbox.

Choose the newsletters you'd like to receive:

Trending Topics

  1. 95 entries are tagged with
  2. 59 entries are tagged with
  3. 70 entries are tagged with
  4. 61 entries are tagged with
  5. 57 entries are tagged with
  6. 214 entries are tagged with
  7. 91 entries are tagged with
  8. 864 entries are tagged with
  9. 60 entries are tagged with
  10. 64 entries are tagged with
  11. 57 entries are tagged with
  12. 93 entries are tagged with
  13. 89 entries are tagged with
  14. 61 entries are tagged with
  15. 53 entries are tagged with
  16. 150 entries are tagged with
  17. 183 entries are tagged with
  18. 63 entries are tagged with
  19. 55 entries are tagged with
  20. 79 entries are tagged with
  21. 60 entries are tagged with
  22. 237 entries are tagged with
  23. 499 entries are tagged with
  24. 95 entries are tagged with
  25. 58 entries are tagged with