This has long been the subject of much debate, inquiry, tastelessness, and all around shouldershruggism.
There really is no one way to tell. Or two ways, now that I think about it. And despite the clichédness of this statement, one of my best friends is actually gay. And even still I had no clue until he told me my senior year of college. I just didn't know.
I've gone to parties where I was the only straight guy there and was surprised to see that most of the guys looked absolutely normal, or in my world, ungay. I used to manage a nightclub where on Friday nights, it was gay night and once again, my bartenders (mostly women) and I would leave at the end of the night with this sense of, "wow, you really never know."
I remember reading an article a couple of months back (forgive me for I cannot find it) where the author claimed that the best indicator for whether or not a man was gay was your gut feeling. Sounds ridiculous I know, but the author (who was a behavioral psychologist, if memory serves me correctly) said that you'd probably be right more than half the time - this after doing a series of studies on people and their hunches about the sexuality of a test subject.
I wish I had a 12-point manual that broke down the walk, talk, or stated that that little pinky-in-the-air drinking, or two handed pouring of 2-liters really was an indicator. But it's not. I know straight guys who are as gay as a fairy and gay guys who are more manly and masculine that some of my straight friends.
Of course, if dude is wearing a boa and/or some Louboutins or has a perm and he is not a real pimp, then I'm fairly sure you can err on the side of gay.
But other than that, I'm really just not sure there is one way to tell.
Oh yeah, if he has a tattoo on the small of his back, he's probably gay too.
Right on Girls BFF, you are 100% right. If you think something is the case, it probably is, same with thinking someone is cheating. Although you are wrong about one thing, there are a fair amount of meat heads of the Jersey Shore variety who have tramp stamp tattoos, it's a strange phenomenon.
Um... Ask them?
But however would you recover from the social impropriety of it all?! I'm getting vapors just thinking about it.
A good answer to a "hard-to-tell" question.
A couple of times a friend of mine would turned to me saying something like "Whoa, this guy is hot!" and I would reply "Yeah. Also, gay." Not because I have good instinct on sexual orientation but because I noticed him before she did and also noticed how he checked out another guy's bottom with a yum-yum expression on his face.
Following your instinct usually means that your brain have recording something like that without you realising it.
I also guess that the way he interacts with others of both sex is more relevant than the way he acts or look. Just as Panama Jackson said: testosterone Joe can be gay just as much as Tinkerbell can be straight.
or, assume all men are gay.
i have so many gay male friends, that i can't tell straight from up. it's strange, you'd think my gaydar would have a margin of error of +/- 0.001. but it doesn't.
so i assume all men are gay, until they prove me wrong. just like everyone is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. so if all of the sudden they start flirting with you or dropping heteronormative innuendos, in a non-satircal, non-ironic way, then you have your answer.
or, if you want to be less subtle but not so obvious as to ask, just bring up hetero/homo issues. like the right to marry. it's so topical and easy to drop into conversation ("can you believe Maine??") that it won't necessarily seem contrived. and i guarantee you that people will declare their orientation when they talk about this issue ("i'm straight, but i totally think that the gays should be able to marry"). well, at least the straight ones will declare their orientation. from there you can deduce. this all of the sudden sounds like formal logic: philosopy 201.
Oddly enough, whenever I am on a date with a woman, I will often say "I hate to suddenly drop a heteronormative inneundo on you, in a non-satircal, non-ironic way, but ... I want to have sex with you ... If you know what I mean".
you don't hate to, you love to.
'i'd love to drop a heternormative innuendo on you....i want to insert my penis into your vagina.....wink wink, nudge nudge.'
lololol!
lololol!
it's very absorbing once you find out because then your thinking i never knew cause it seems so fabricated it's almost as if it wasn't real. most common people would never want to believe that their friend, family would be gay it's not an easy thing to except i tell the actuality. Once my friend told me, i was shocked i didn't expect him to be like that just how he acts and reacts to everything i do but then i got used to it then i started to feel comfortable to the fact that he's gay. It's actually not a weird thing at all, it's normal i guess.
I find this a hilarious question! Mostly because i refer to my boyfriend (who is very straight lol) as the gay-est straight guy i know!! ahahaha I think my mom is convinced he is secretly gay lol But thats probably because he is sweet, sensitive and not into the stereotypical manly things (except for video games lol) I pick on him that he's girlier than i am (i'm a not exactly a girly girl-no ruffles, skirts, or frou frou crap for me) One of those questions there will never be a good answer for lol
Let's see if he's kissing another dude, he's gay...
I think a better question is why does this matter?
If it's because you are into him then this is really easy. Just tell him you are into him, if he's gay, he's probably used to it and will let you down easy(try:"I have a confession to make, I kinda like you" or something similar). If he's not at least you'll know where you stand as a prospect.
If you are not into him then it doesn't matter does it? Unless you are trying to out gay men...
The only reliable difference between gay and straight is in attraction to same vs opposite sex, so the only way to tell for sure is to look for signs of attraction when they are interacting with various people. When a person likes the person they are interacting with, they will behave in certain ways. Lean towards them, get involved in the conversation, eyes will roam over the face while talking, or more blatantly they will look at boobs/crotch/butt. (this is a very rough sketch by the way and not very specific-there is a lot more to it!) If you want to know, then learn what to watch for by watching people that are obviously into each other and then look for those signs in whomever you are wondering about and see who they are responding to.
The only reliable difference between gay and straight is in attraction to same vs opposite sex, so the only way to tell for sure is to look for signs of attraction when they are interacting with various people. When a person likes the person they are interacting with, they will behave in certain ways. Lean towards them, get involved in the conversation, eyes will roam over the face while talking, or more blatantly they will look at boobs/crotch/butt. (this is a very rough sketch by the way and not very specific-there is a lot more to it!) If you want to know, then learn what to watch for by watching people that are obviously into each other and then look for those signs in whomever you are wondering about and see who they are responding to.
What a lovely day for a 3404001! SCK was here