The most direct way to go about this is rent the 1991 Denzel vehicle, Mississippi Masala. As we all know, it explores the interracial romance between an African American and Indian American. As soon as you press "PLAY" study your man. Take note of his facial expression and body language. Are his lips taut with tension? Can you read concern about his forehead? Are his eyes wide and empathic? Is he shaking his head and sucking his teeth whenever Mina cries?
Now bring your documented findings to the most senior rabbi in your community. If you can't locate him the senior lifeguard at any JCC will also do. Ask him to read these "tea leaves" as it were, and find out if your man is, as you put it "open to a serious relationship with a Non-Jew."
If for any reason this doesn't work, there are other tools at your disposal. Broach the topic with him. See where he stands on the issue. It's a complex thing for many Jews... any minority. Heck, anyone on the planet who feels passionate about preserving and continuing their cultural/genetic footprint.
Make him think long and hard because he may have a knee-jerk reaction that isn't even his own. Maybe it's his parents' expectations? Maybe he thinks he's more carefree about it then he actually is? Really press him on the issue, and both of you explore it in all its angles. Envision family mingling, holidays, Christmas trees, weddings, baby names, Christenings, circumcisions, Bar Mitzvahs, church. You don't want to feel like a second-class citizen, being "punished" or "stifled" for your non-jewishness. Your future together can definitely work. Tens of thousands of couples make it work every year. Just be open. I wish you two much Mazel when you find yourself having this conversation.
Loved that movie...and this post too. I guess we'll keep you, Funny Guy.
things you could have told me 20 years ago....
What a lovely day for a 2411679! SCK was here
How does he look at you? It says everything. If you mean anything to him, he will look you at you and REALLY see you, he will be listening, he will be drawn in because of who you are. Doesnt matter if a guy is jewish, christian, etc... if he wants something serious, everything he does with you will be GENUINE. It will be thoughtful.
If hes not being sincere and just likes your company..most likely hes not looking to get serious.
On a side note, dont ever date a guy who is not open to dating other racial, religion etc. People who date with an intent (say only date a jew, only a christian, only a black man) will later regret this because once you older, you realize, race and religion means nothing at all.
We are all the same. Were all human with the same emotions and capability. People who let their religion and race dictate who they will date or love or marry or procreate with limit their ability to have greater and more meaningful experiences.
Good luck.
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