Good question.
And fairly straight forward and simple to boot: a guy who is laid back about making plans will suggest that you actually hang out. A guy who isn't interested will only hang out with you when you suggest that you hang out.
Lets keep it thorough here. If a chap wants to see you naked (and while it might not be our sole goal it is a goal nonetheless) he's going to put forth some form of effort right? Like, let's say I want some ice cream. I'm going to either get up and go get it, call in an order, or just talk about it incessantly until I get me some ice cream. Why did I pick ice cream? No clue.
Now let's say I really want pickles. Am I going to be talking about ice cream if I want pickles? No.
Don't you see how much logical sense that made? Exactly.
If you got a lazy dude who does like you he'll definitely suggest that you hang out and spend time but he might just suck at actively picking out places to do so...which to be real, you can also use as an indicator of lack of interest. If a dude is on your boobs, he's going to find a way to see you again. He'll follow you to church and sit in the back pew.
He'll come to the grocery store and be in the next aisle. He just wants to see you again.
Laid back dude who isn't putting forth much effort needs to hustle harder.
Word is bond.
How about guys who give you super late notice to hang out? For instance, 6 pm for the same night..... Is it okay to be a little offended when that happens?
That's kind of my issue, and I'm the one who wrote the question. I tend to be a planner, and my guy isn't, so I'll ask him a day or two before the weekend if we're doing something. If I don't bug him, we'll still hang out, but he'll contact me the day of to figure out what's going on. I think I'm so antsy about making the plans that I don't give him a chance to. So this week, I'm not asking him to do anything and seeing how he responds!
I would be a little offended if it was 6pm and he asked to do something, if that was the only way he functioned. If that was once in awhile and otherwise he made an effort, it wouldnt be a big deal. but waiting until the last minute sounds to be like he's weighing his options. Sorry!
I would be a little offended at the 6pm---It seems like he's weighing his options and only calling that late if nothing better comes along. If its only once in awhile, and normally he plans in advance, I wouldnt think it was a big deal.
I wrote the question and that's sort of what's going on with my guy. I think he just tends to be a "we'll figure it out later" type of guy who doesn't like to be rushed into making plans, whereas I'm a super planner. I'm going to ease up and see if I make less effort, willhe make more?
Yeah I'm a planner too, but your guy shouldn't make you feel like you're OCD when HE's the one with the problem. I really hope waiting for him to initiate plans will work out for you -- it doesn't for me, and as a result I always feel like I'm just waiting around for him to contact me.... And I hate being that girl waiting by the phone. But then I don't want to feel clingy by being the one making plans all the time. Catch 22.
Good luck to you!
How about suggesting to him something like, "Hey, I have nothing to do this weekend, and I am always making the plans, so why don't you plan something fun for us to do?"
Don't let yourself get OCD and antsy. There are better things to do with your time than wait for a phone call.
awesome response PJ.
Suddenly, I have a craving for ice cream.
how about just make other plans? He will learn to contact you sooner for weekend plans if waiting till the last minute means you are busy with other friends and events.
For me, my life is way too busy and fun to wait around for some dude to decide he wants to see me. Guys I date learn to snag my time early or they wait till the next week (which is what you suggest when you tell him you are busy. "sorry, I'm pretty booked this weekend, I have x night free next week, though.") Works like a charm, and i found out on accident, by being super busy for real.