The problem with trying to get over somebody is that the very act of trying keeps them constantly in your mind. For me, being a bit Zen about it, accepting that I can't force myself to feel anything other than how I feel, and just waiting for the feelings to run their course has always been faster and less stressful than trying to force myself into getting over someone just because I think that I ought to.

It helps a lot if he did the breaking up. If you did the breaking up, then it would serve you well to remember there was a good reason why you broke up. Stay strong... All of us that have been lucky enough to fall in love have had to survive breakups so you are not alone. Part of you does not want to forget yet but you will eventually. And when you least expect it, you will meet someone else... Focusing on yourself meeting new people and doing new things will help you put things in perspective. It feels good to accomplish things instead of moping around...

You forgot throwing yourself into work so that nothing else matters ...

Time babe. It's all about the time.

its been 2 years and i still think about him every single day and i hate it. i feel like i lost my, (dare i say) soulmate. Ive tried everything, at first i thought it was just lust or infatuation, but i realized it was much more than that. i really must be insane..

I think it helps to try & focus on the bad things in the relationship. Our mind wants to hang on to what a guy great he is, but in reality, he probably wasn’t. Remember the time he stood you up or cu$$ed you out in front of your friends? No relationship is perfect, so when you think about him, go to those memories. The ones that don’t make him look so good. (& for God sake, get rid of all the crap that reminds you of him. EVERYTHING!)

What if you're in the stage before a possible breakup where you're afraid of this happening on both sides? Or what if you have to break up for outside reasons? Parents, distance... Etc. And you still truly love him/her?

I'm about to tell you the 3 worst things that you absolutely DO NOT want to hear right now:
1. the only way to stay sane is to focus on yourself
2. time is the only thing that will really heal you
3. everything happens for a reason

5 months ago my bf and I broke up and it destroyed me... when people gave me the above advice I literally wanted to throw up... but there's a reason people keep saying it, and there's a reason the above posts say almost the exact same thing... its the truth.

it's hard, it sucks, it's so painful, and to be honest you'll probably never stop thinking about him at least once a day... but you have to believe that it will get better. you HAVE TO believe it.

my advice is to try new activities, do things you never would have done before or have been afraid to do in the past... do things you've always been passionate about, go someplace new and exciting... try to challenge yourself and you'll feel so good once you've accomplished some of those challenges... and then post photos of your awesome new experiences on facebook where you know your ex will see them... because you know that he'll be looking at them if he sees new photos coming up... the point isn't to make him feel jealous and put up photos of you getting drunk with different guys... but truly fun experiences like scuba diving or completing a triathlon... knowing that he's seeing them will be comforting to you and it will make you feel like you're sharing it with him... eventually more people will start to notice and you'll make more friends... you'll be making yourself happy in those moments and before you know it, you'll really be doing it all for yourself and thinking about him much less...

the new experiences will help you clear your head also, and help you realize what truly makes you happy... all that I just said worked for me... I promise you, I did exactly that, and it truly changed my perspective... my ex reached out to me after only 2 months but by then I realized that I wasn't ready to jump back into a relationship with him because I wasn't sure what I wanted or whether he really is the best choice for me at this point...

it may sound dumb to some people but it really worked for me... I wish you the best of luck... jest remember, you're not alone in this

I think all of these are things we should focus on as we feel so very alone when we miss someone we love so much. Spending time with FAMILY & FRIENDS....getting outside of the house where you know you will think of him more...I am going through it right now too. I was with my BF for 9 months before he broke it off. He's in the Navy, so he's been here and there..going everywhere. But when he gets back, he calls me and I GO! I do it each and every single time. Or I would email or text him saying I was going to be in his area, ( I really wasn't ) and see if he wanted to get together. This has lasted almost 4 years now. But in the last 3 years, we haven't been out and done anything together. NOT AT ALL...just stay home and have sex. etc. Then I don't hear from him til next time. So, a couple weeks ago, I left my necklace on his bathroom counter in his bedroom where he can see it everyday! He left somewhere after telling me that he wasn't sure if he was going..I asked if he wanted to go out and site see with me, then he told me he might be leaving again. So, I wasn't sure..I text him and asked if he wanted to go with me to a major city and see what we see...I didn't hear from him, so I text him that I was done and was going on a date that I have been putting off for some time. He got back and was pissed. I went to get my necklace back from him....thinking and crying "This is it...I'm done, we are over..I'm not ever going to see his face or touch him again". He was so mad....I get to his place and he grabbed me up held me and the sex started all over again. So, that was 2 nights ago....I got up at 2 a.m. and left his place. My house is over an hour away...I kissed him goodbye and told him to take care, he said "YOU TOO"....that is it. LOVE IS OVER..........we are done, I will never see him again, the navy is moving him away to another state....and we will go on with our lives. I pray for him all the time, for him to love someone, to find happiness and security. To open up and say "I LOVE YOU"...cause I know he loves me, but he can't tell me cause he never knows where the navy is sending him next, so why start sharing his words when he knows they are sending him packing? He's just not the type. So, it is what it is..........I am hurt, but i am healing. We will survive this heartache, girl! I know we will.

You might never get over it, even if you're the one who ended the relationship. I can speak for myself, its been about 9 years and I still can't get him out of my head even with an awesome husband that I adore.

OMG, don't tell me that even after 9 years and getting married to someone else you still think about him???? It's been 5 years for me and I still cry almost everyday about the loss. i can't even feel good about dating others because my mind always reverts to my ex and do the comparison thing and I can't even think of dating anyone other than my ex. because of that. It seems like there is always something not quite right about the new guy but always was good about the ex. He llet me for someone who is 20 years younger than I am. We were best friends for years before we got together ansd the friiendshiip followed thru our entire relationship up to the very end. I think he was going thru the mid life crisis thing at that time. I haven't seen or spoken to him since 2007 but hear from mutual friends what he is up to etc. He is still with the same girl. in fact, they were living together withiin 2 months of us breaking up which freaked me out. One day i simply called him before mtging him later that nite and he told me "don't call me anymore, I am seeing someone else." Havent seen or talked to him since. Does anyone feel that i just may need closure or what the %^#$ is my problem. Help!!!!