Where are the questions about dealing with these guys? We don't just dole out random bits of advice here. We answer questions. The questions tend to dictate the answers.
Also, you challenge our alleged assumptions with an assumption of your own. No one here thinks that all men are "horny, sex-crazed, one-track-minded people." We are all intelligent enough to recognize that there are exceptions to anything, and we talk plenty about exceptional guys in our answers. Read a few more posts and see for yourself.
Still, we have to deal in broad strokes on Guyspeak. To a certain degree, our answers must be relevant to as many readers as possible, and, face it, more guys are horny bastards than not. So if a female reader asks why a guy keeps calling her to come over late at night, no one here will claim that he wants to read Pablo Neruda to her. Because he doesn't. He wants to do the dirty deed. Okay, he might read Neruda to her before or after bumping uglies, but trust me, but the booty call is the main attraction.
In other words, we call 'em like we see 'em, and we've been seeing them longer than you, so you kinda just have to trust us. Still doesn't mean we think every guy is the same.
If you know a lot of guys who are exceptions and have burning questions about them, ask away. We'll do our best to answer.
Thanks.
"I've known men who don't masturbate or talk sex all the time. "
I almost fell off my chair laughing.
You may have known men who don't "talk sex all the time", plenty of them out there, but I guarantee you don't know any men who don't masturbate. Even the super religious, deny yourself type, will "slip" and do it (there are whole articles written on how to deal with this 'sin'. Trust me, they just don't tell you or they lie about it.
And of course, there is always the exception just like Cary said. I'm sure there are guys out there who don't have any limbs or are suffering from severe ED or were abused.
And really, who cares if he masturbates?
Oh wait...how do you deal with these guys?
Um, well if he has no limbs, any "dealing" with him you do will probably greatly appreciated.
If he has ED, he probably needs a good urologist, but this is a very sensitive subject, I wouldn't even approach it unless you are girlfriend/wife and even then very carefully. Male ego is very fragile when it comes to this.
If he was abused, I'd go with the same advice as ED just change urologist to psychologist.
How about turn about is fair play? Why are so many stinking women offended or annoyed that men are horny dogs? What's up with that? We know you guys like sex, too. Nothing wrong with a little perpetuation of the species!
Exactly. 99% of men spank the monkey. The other 1% lie.
haha i love this - sorry the question box made me cut out so much of my question.
I lived with many boys - one of which i dated for years (while living with other boys) and with comeplete fear that one day this may get back to an ex I always thought there was something wrong with him - never horny I asked about masterbating - and i truly believed his lack of "spanking the monkey" while we were together I would bet everything that matters to me that in those years - & possibly since it ended he may have done it a few times - definitely no more than 5. We discussed it - we had issues - i had no self confidence when I got tired of telling him his lack of sexual interest in me messed with my head - so yes they exist - yes i have been one of the boys & got far too much info & I say bring on the horn dogs - at least I can get advice on how to deal with them.
Unfortunately for me I haven't gotten to yet and was just curious to know where to get advice - especially when your guy doesn't "do the whole doctor thing" he hadn't been to one in longer than I've known him...
I think that sometimes finding information not on a doc/health site but more casual magazine type thing would be easier to bring up & be like hey cosmo says... instead of health canada or whatever... you know - less strain and awkwardness & easier for a girl. also good to show that not all guys are perfectly easy to understand and read because whipping out my boobies would be super easy for me
- so let me try a simple question How do you deal with/talk to/encourage a guy with a low libido aside from seeking advice from a medical specialist (because you've reccommended that a number of times & that clearly did not happen)?
PS I laughed too. I used every last digit I could in that question & had to rewrite & cut out so much...
Ah! Now it makes more sense.
Yeah, dysfunction of some sort was the other candidate and basically sits somewhere in between ED and abuse answer already given.
You can't really "make" him go. A low sex drive like that is almost always a physical or psychological issue.
It's really hard to know what to do without knowing him, but something is most likely wrong. At first blush, you could wonder if the lack of interest was due to homosexual leanings, but adding the lack of "self love" would point towards the physical or psychological problem.
The bad news is that just like an alcoholic or drug addict you can't really help them until they want to help themselves. If he's not willing to get it checked out then nothing you do will really change that. If anything, you can easily fall into the "enabling" problem.
The good news is that the vast majority of men aren't like this and you can find someone without this problem rather easily.
If this is a guy you still want to invest a relationship in, then you have to face a few things:
1) Can you handle it if he NEVER changes? If the answer isn't 'yes' don't get involved. You can't expect people to change. If you can't love him "as is" don't string on a relationship hoping to change him. (What if it turns out he has a rare genetic disorder that can't be "fixed"?)
2) Don't enable the problem. If you are both interested in a relationship. Be up front with him that you are going to need it more often then he does and you are going to need a compromise of some sort. Fortunately, unless he is suffering from a form of ED, guys are easy to get going so if you don't mind a little "one sided" sex on occasion, it shouldn't be too hard to come up with an arrangement. Most guys can be induced to perform even when they aren't into it at the moment. Especially if he knows beforehand that he will be servicing your needs.
Other than that it will most likely be the same as any other joe average relationship with its respective ups and downs.
Hope that helps!
Not all men are sex-crazed and masterbate all the time. I'll expound on this later, but I'm currently only typing with one hand.
Multi-tasking again, Frank?
Multi-something'ing, Daisy.
Oh my!!
Oh my!!
"Pablo Neruda" :-)
"So if a female reader asks why a guy keeps calling her to come over late at night, no one here will claim that he wants to read Pablo Neruda to her." Cary
He may, if he spent twenty minutes before calling her writing Pablo Neruda on his schlonger.
this has got to be the funniest website-- and waay better than a comedy show
This is so old but I have to comment. My fiance does NOT masturbate. For awhile I thought this was BS, but now after 5 years, I have found it is the truth. He knows I do it if he isn't around, and he's fine with it, although he'd rather watch haha. And he also knows I don't give a damn if he does as long as I'm still getting some on a regular basis.
He isn't even religious, he's an atheist. Trust me, I find it weird. He used to when he was younger but just hasn't liked it for the past 8 years or so. And it isn't like we're vanilla in the bedroom, there are pretty much no boundaries. He's also the only guy I know that has no desire to go to a strip club. That part I don't mind heh.
I also have a male friend that hates, hates, hates blow jobs and thinks they are the grossest thing ever.
Uh huh.