Sounds like he’s got two girlfriends: You and sweet Mary Jane. I kid, I kid. Seriously, that’s a tough situation. We’ve all known someone whose default state is “blazed out of their gourd.” You never feel like they’re totally there. It’s like you’re dating two different guys– your sweet, caring, sober boyfriend and The Big Lebowski.
This is a unique dilemma because you also have to worry about the legal ramifications of your boyfriend’s lifestyle. If he was just a pothead, we could figure out ways to get him to cut back. But he’s also a dealer, which is a whole other problem. Do you love him enough to be part of that life? It doesn’t seem like pot is going to stop being a major thing for him anytime soon.
The best thing you can do is tell him that you feel neglected and hope that he cares enough to change. It’s no different than a guy who is consumed with work or raiding castles in World of Warcraft. Well, except that what he’s doing is technically illegal, but you catch my drift. He still needs to make time for the people in his life who care about him. You might want to address the elephant in the room as well– the fact that he’s heading down a potentially bad path. I imagine he doesn’t want to be a pot dealer forever. (Dealers over the age of 25 are kind of sad.) Tell him that you’re worried about him, that pot has consumed his life to an unhealthy degree. You don’t have to get all Intervention on him, but it’s safe to say he’s got a problem if he’s dealing and neglecting you. Realizing that he might lose you to his habit could be the wake up call he needs.