Sounds like he's got two girlfriends: You and sweet Mary Jane. I kid, I kid. Seriously, that's a tough situation. We've all known someone whose default state is "blazed out of their gourd." You never feel like they're totally there. It's like you're dating two different guys-- your sweet, caring, sober boyfriend and The Big Lebowski.
This is a unique dilemma because you also have to worry about the legal ramifications of your boyfriend's lifestyle. If he was just a pothead, we could figure out ways to get him to cut back. But he's also a dealer, which is a whole other problem. Do you love him enough to be part of that life? It doesn't seem like pot is going to stop being a major thing for him anytime soon.
The best thing you can do is tell him that you feel neglected and hope that he cares enough to change. It's no different than a guy who is consumed with work or raiding castles in World of Warcraft. Well, except that what he's doing is technically illegal, but you catch my drift. He still needs to make time for the people in his life who care about him. You might want to address the elephant in the room as well-- the fact that he's heading down a potentially bad path. I imagine he doesn't want to be a pot dealer forever. (Dealers over the age of 25 are kind of sad.) Tell him that you're worried about him, that pot has consumed his life to an unhealthy degree. You don't have to get all Intervention on him, but it's safe to say he's got a problem if he's dealing and neglecting you. Realizing that he might lose you to his habit could be the wake up call he needs.
This is a unique dilemma because you also have to worry about the legal ramifications of your boyfriend's lifestyle. If he was just a pothead, we could figure out ways to get him to cut back. But he's also a dealer, which is a whole other problem. Do you love him enough to be part of that life? It doesn't seem like pot is going to stop being a major thing for him anytime soon.
The best thing you can do is tell him that you feel neglected and hope that he cares enough to change. It's no different than a guy who is consumed with work or raiding castles in World of Warcraft. Well, except that what he's doing is technically illegal, but you catch my drift. He still needs to make time for the people in his life who care about him. You might want to address the elephant in the room as well-- the fact that he's heading down a potentially bad path. I imagine he doesn't want to be a pot dealer forever. (Dealers over the age of 25 are kind of sad.) Tell him that you're worried about him, that pot has consumed his life to an unhealthy degree. You don't have to get all Intervention on him, but it's safe to say he's got a problem if he's dealing and neglecting you. Realizing that he might lose you to his habit could be the wake up call he needs.
You can't. All you can do is tell him "I will not tolerate being neglected. Neglect means x, y, and z. If I am neglected, I will break up with you." And then stick to your guns. You have to set clear boundaries with addicts, which it sounds like he is. You can't change him - he has to CHOOSE to change himself. If it continues, run for the hills. Seriously. I'm dealing with an addict boyfriend and you DON'T want it.
My ex was a stoner. The fights you have and the worrying you do about it is soooooo annoying. I got used to it and stopped caring. I guess I looked at his other traits and they outweighed his stoner habits. Never try to change him though because you will end up tired, frustrated, and unsuccessful. What if he promises to quit and then...does it again? Oh, it's just not worth it. Get used to it or leave. Pot is a way of life. Stoners don't become sober unless they want to.
my boyfriend lives with me he works six days a week in his free time he spends it on his only day off with his one friend whom he see's all week all day! when he gets off work the friends come to my house and sit out side to drink beer until after or past dark and my kids are sleeping then he will come in and want to eat dinner alone take a shower and give his orders of whats expected the next day times i need to be up to take the whole crew to work their all drinker all dui's im the driver and tells me what to pack in his lunch and where to put his things as far as clothes out! i totally take care of this guy! he barely helps with the bills never pays for food and puts it all on me! he is a excessive alcoholic whom i have saved twice in a over dose thank god for 21 yrs of nursing but the last yr or so i have been at home which i hate , im never around family or friends nor do i go any where with out him or he threatens to leave when we do go someone where he stares at other women and im a very very pretty girl who guys always look at me im full figure but hot to look at who knows its all drama and question is i know i dont want to do this any more and i need to go back to work but thanks to the goverment they are ending cna's nurses in nursing homes in july so many of us will be without a job i guess i will find work doing something else and get back into chruch phone up my friends and start worrying about me for a little bit he and i are not married and dont think its a mind game im not doing any thing wrong i just ant happy and i want to find a better light
my boyfreind and i have just break upp and he is now with another girl but i'm sure that he doesn't love her what can i do to win him back
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lets see for starters yes you could try to talk to him. try to compromise, negotiation is the key. secondly YOU CANNOT BE ADDICTED TO POT. it is physically impossible. THC is a non addictive drug. yes it may seem like he's addicted to pot but most people who smoke a lot of weed have inner conflicts or cannot/do not like to handle stress. it seems like he's doesn't care because he is always high. when your high its not that you dont care its that you let things go. say his habit is bothering you, you get upset, he doesnt really say anything. its because instead of getting worked up about it he just lets it go. thats what stoners do. the best way i would say to deal with it would be to accept it and cope with it or leave.
Simple all you have to say is yuh and your sorry a** better google me CUZ i do not take this bs and I refuse to be treated like your maid it's ethier me or whatever is making you treat meh like yesterdays news