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Mystery Man

 
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How do I deal with an extremely overprotective husband during pregnancy? I cant even get out of bed or up from the couch without him standing behind me trying to steady me & im only 3 months. He hired a maid & won’t let me do any chores & freaks out if I lift anything, even my purse. Is this normal & what should i do.

Are you totally nuts?

Enjoy it while it lasts!

I am assuming it is your first together. It is his way of coping and stopping himself running around in circles, screaming and hyperventilating. A lot of guys are odd that way. They can be all "we are equal partners, and you are as tough as me" until the gal gets pregnant. Then suddenly she is made of glass and spun sugar.

Relax. Take heart from the fact that he is so overjoyed that the two of you are having a child together that he is actually thinking about you. A lot.
I know it may seem demeaning in some ways - an independant woman suddenly being coddled for a basic biological function. It is not.

He can't go out and kill a dragon to prove his love for you both, so he is doing the next best thing.

And rest while you can. Rest, and me time, becomes a distant and fond memory once you are a parent.

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9 Comments

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i like first and last tag :)
oh yeah, and the advice was good too

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What love and devotion. You are a blessed woman. I agree with MM and Mandi. Most women would kill to be in your shoes. He loves you and is showing it. Enjoy, be appreciative, grateful and tell him you love him and thank him for all he is doing.

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Are you guys serious??? I would go batsh*t crazy if this happened to me. There's devoted, and then there is overbearing and underfoot. This guy needs to back off a bit.

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Hi MM. thank Thank you for answering my question. I get your point and I am very happy that he is so excited about the baby but im honestly going to go crazy soon. Some of his action are understandable but most are just over the top [he doesn’t even want me to use the stairs; he insists that he carry me]. Aside from going to company meetings he worked it out so he can work from home until I have the baby, so I have to deal with his craziness 24/7.The problem is that this is a very sensitive subject with him because his mother died during childbirth. So I understand his feelings too but I don’t think I can handle another six months of this. Can someone please tell me how I can handle this situation so that I don’t hurt his feelings.

Mystery Man

You have to tell him. Firmly and clearly and as sharply as necessary. You are going through something totally normal and don't need all the cotton wool and bubblewrap.
With the baggage he has, it will take a while to get through, and props for understanding why, even if it makes life very uncomfortable!

Take him with you to your check-ups. Point out, like your Doctor undoubtedly will, that a fit and healthy mother has a fit and healthy baby (usually) so you do still need to actually move around and do things. You don't train for a marathon by lying down, and birth is equally strenuous (from what I have seen, at least!)

And tell him from me that carrying you up the stairs is a total dick move. He is more likely to drop you than you are to fall. That shit stops now.

Keep the maid though.

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I followed your advice and talked to him, and I’m really happy that I did because that was the first time he actually opened up and told me how scared he was that he might lose me like his father lost his mother. He promised to cut back a little. I told him what you said about the stairs and he promised not to carry me anymore but still insists on him being there when I go up them and on me not walking up them alone [but hey, I guess its an improvement]. Thanks again MM, your awesome and I really appreciate how much you’ve helped me.
P.S. I’m soo keeping the maid

Mystery Man

Really glad it helped!
You will probably need to remind him a couple more times, until he relaxes a bit more. That is normal. I too get hyperprotective during pregnancies!

Mel.

"Keep the maid though."
Lmao. Well said.

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I had to work in a nursing home up until the day I gave birth. I had toxemia, and I kept working until 2 weeks before my due date. My blood pressure was very high and my legs swelled so badly that I still have stretch marks on my calves. I don't think my ex husband cared. I learned a lot about him during that time. Still, having someone preventing you from doing anything would be very frustrating. I'm glad you were able to get your husband to listen a little.

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