Good answer, JDV! People are more than just their histories. They're human beings, and have the right to be imperfect (whatever that means) and the right to live life on their own terms.

I have a don't ask, don't tell policy when it comes to discussing sexual histories with a partner. Really, the only thing we genuinely need to know is that we're both STI free. Anything else really isn't my business, and honestly, why would I want to darken the horizons of an otherwise wonderful relationship by obsessing about how she was wild in college?
Treat every relationship as a clean slate; leave as much of your baggage at the door as you can, and don't rummage around in that of your partner. It will make everything a lot smoother in the long run.

A former boyfriend (who was 27 at the time) once told me that his ideal girl would have had "one serious boyfriend in high school, and not much else after that." I laughed, and told him good luck with that, since that certainly didn't describe me. I broke up with him a little while after.

I agree with Mannon, as the only things that "skeeve" me out about formerly promiscuous guys are: 1, the greater likelihood of STDs and 2, the possibility that he might return to his former ways. Obviously, though, the best way not to be skeeved is to not have that conversation in the first place. Chances are good that the stories are half truths, anyway. When asked, I always lie about my previous sexual history. Perhaps that'll change, but right now, boyfriends don't need (or want) to know about all the sex I had in college.

I don't know. I'd be put off if I found out that my partner had a lot of previous sexual partners, not because I'm "virgin obsessed" or anything, but because I hate the idea of promiscuity and emotionless sex. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's just not something I'd want in my partner. I guess sex is just too intimate of an activity for me.

To the asker, you may have to lower your standards. The chances of finding someone who hasn't had at least several sexual partners before you is slim at best.

Go to a seminary :)

My father has partnered with a lot of women before his marriage with my mother. It was the free love generation, after all, before AIDS and HIV. Today, they have been married for over 30 years and faithful. Being promiscuous in the past doesn't necessarily make someone faithful in their marriage. Why don't we all make personality, education, body order, intelligence, cooking skills, etc, etc, a priority when we choose partners for life.

"Amish dating sites"-- sounds like an oxymoron to me ;)

I think this answer was a little harsh and I kind of sympathize with the question-asker. Unless you're searching for men in church, your chances of dating/marrying a virgin is incredibly slim (unless he's some kind of shut-in).

However, let's say you're waiting until marriage to have sex. Good for you. You are not obligated to date/marry/whatever anyone who didn't have enough self-control to make the same decisions as you. You're likely to miss out on someone amazing....but it's still completely within your rights to do that.

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