Great question. Many readers have asked where they can meet a nice, geeky guy. Therefore, I present the secret hideouts of geeks the world over.
Trivia nights. Geeks of every stripe love trivia. Film geeks, history buffs, indie music snobs--they all love to show off their knowledge in a public setting. Also, it's a good way to weed out the anti-social freaks. Trivia nights are usually held in bars, so right away you know the guy is social and likes to get out of the house. They require teamwork, patience and a quick wit. Plus, you're in a bar. Team mingling is bound to happen with a little social lubrication.
Comedy shows. Skip The Chuckle Hut and look for the smaller comedy venues in your town. See an improv, sketch or stand-up show at a small theater, or, better yet, take a class. Most major cities have good, independent comedy theaters that offer shows and classes. These places are a hotbed of nerdy, sensitive guys who will be wowed by your brains, beauty and the fact that you're talking to them. If a geek-friendly comedian comes to town (like, say, Patton Oswalt or Paul F. Tompkins), definitely check out the show. You'll see some great comedy, and be around nerdy hipsters. (Hope you're into beards!)
Midnight movies or theme movie nights. Is your local theater showing Ghostbusters? Or perhaps a Labyrinth sing-a-long? Look for theme movie nights or retro screenings in your area. Invite some gal pals along and go nerd cruising.
The Internet. I hear a lot of geeks are online these days. Seriously, sites like OK Cupid or MeetUp.com are great for finding groups that match your interests. Get off message boards and chat rooms and use the Internet as a tool to find geek-friendly activities (board game nights, art shows, readings, etc.) where you can meet new people and socialize.
As with meeting anyone, it's important to venture outside of your comfort zone. If you've been afraid to go to a trivia night or play Guitar Hero at your local bar, now is the time to take a risk. You never know who you'll meet.
Finally, if you don't live somewhere with tons of fun places to meet geeks, create one. Ask your local bookstore about lending you space for a zombie and vampire fiction book club. Host an all '80s karaoke night, or a board game and card game night at a local bar or coffee shop. Make the nerds come to you.
Any other hot spots for picking up sexy geeks? Where did you meet your geek boyfriend?
Trivia nights. Geeks of every stripe love trivia. Film geeks, history buffs, indie music snobs--they all love to show off their knowledge in a public setting. Also, it's a good way to weed out the anti-social freaks. Trivia nights are usually held in bars, so right away you know the guy is social and likes to get out of the house. They require teamwork, patience and a quick wit. Plus, you're in a bar. Team mingling is bound to happen with a little social lubrication.
Comedy shows. Skip The Chuckle Hut and look for the smaller comedy venues in your town. See an improv, sketch or stand-up show at a small theater, or, better yet, take a class. Most major cities have good, independent comedy theaters that offer shows and classes. These places are a hotbed of nerdy, sensitive guys who will be wowed by your brains, beauty and the fact that you're talking to them. If a geek-friendly comedian comes to town (like, say, Patton Oswalt or Paul F. Tompkins), definitely check out the show. You'll see some great comedy, and be around nerdy hipsters. (Hope you're into beards!)
Midnight movies or theme movie nights. Is your local theater showing Ghostbusters? Or perhaps a Labyrinth sing-a-long? Look for theme movie nights or retro screenings in your area. Invite some gal pals along and go nerd cruising.
The Internet. I hear a lot of geeks are online these days. Seriously, sites like OK Cupid or MeetUp.com are great for finding groups that match your interests. Get off message boards and chat rooms and use the Internet as a tool to find geek-friendly activities (board game nights, art shows, readings, etc.) where you can meet new people and socialize.
As with meeting anyone, it's important to venture outside of your comfort zone. If you've been afraid to go to a trivia night or play Guitar Hero at your local bar, now is the time to take a risk. You never know who you'll meet.
Finally, if you don't live somewhere with tons of fun places to meet geeks, create one. Ask your local bookstore about lending you space for a zombie and vampire fiction book club. Host an all '80s karaoke night, or a board game and card game night at a local bar or coffee shop. Make the nerds come to you.
Any other hot spots for picking up sexy geeks? Where did you meet your geek boyfriend?
Wow...."I'm tired of dating normal guys".. Frankly, I don't believe theres such a thing as normal. Yeah, its nice to date someone who shares your interest. It doesn't necessarily make them any better. Stop fetishsizing geeks, their like anyone else. Even a normal guy likes action figures, I doubt that would make him weird. It freaks guys out that I know about Green Lantern comics, and I look pretty damn conventional...
You can fetishize geeks all you want here, ladies!
Seriously, I think by "normal" she means the usual guys she's meeting. Perhaps normal was a poor choice of words, but I take it as she's tired of run-of-the-mill jerks who are intimidated by her intelligence and career goals and wants to meet a nice guy. It's all about meeting new people and getting out there. The places I suggested are not strictly filled with geeks, whatever that label even means these days. They're all social activities that attract a wide variety of folks.
I agree with Nick here. :) My primary concern at the moment now that I'm back in the dating pool is finding someone who, in a long term relationship, I'm not going to get bored with. And that means smarts. Geeky smarts. Pretty is great, for a while. So are strong, moral and fun. But even funny has a sell-by date. Intelligence, on the other hand, particularly if it's paired with any of those things, is going to last a lifetime.
You can make the fugly attractive*, but you can't make the dumb crack open a damn book.
*I hear you just take off their glasses and let them shake their hair out in slow motion.
I would LOVE to go to a Labyrinth sing-a-long! I love that movie so damn much!!
I found my amazing geek online. I've met other geeks through geeky friends, largely - also at Rocky Horror Picture Show screenings and the Renaissance Faire.
As for being too shy to ask you out - for a VERY long time, my response to this was to simply ask THEM out. I mean, you know if a guy likes you, but a geeky guy is generally less certain about your interest in him, so just make life easier and make it happen! However, after a certain point I had tired of this, and decided that the next geek needed to be of sufficient manhood to ask a girl out on his own. The fact that the next guy (who was and will ever remain the LAST guy, seeing as I married him and all) met me on Match.com made it even easier for him to ask me out, since we were on, duh, a DATING site. But it was lovely. We geeked out for seven and a half hours on our first date before parting, and shortly thereafter decided never to part again.
(I bought him the "Game Over" bride and groom shirt before he even proposed - I hid it in a bag and gave it to him when we got home from what turned out to be the proposal dinner - he was shocked that I had it waiting!)
Labyrinth FTW!!!
Wow. She's having trouble finding nerdy guys? Nearly every guy I encounter is a nerd--then again, so am I, so of course I'd hang out where they are. I met my current boyfriend through a guy friend at an Anime convention.
I'd suggest making nerdy female friends, then looking at the friends of their boyfriends. Because nerdy girls date nerdy guys, and nerdy guys have nerdy friends.
Also, I meet a lot of guys in the book store. Generally, if you hang out in the section of your interests (excluding the romance novels), you'll run into guys who are also into what you're into. Another plus to this: you'll get a guy who can read, which is a good indicator of a dude with a brain. :)
Beyond that, Nick hit the nail on the head. Then again, he would know, wouldn't he?
I totally love geeks!!! It's so awesome to talk to someone who actually knows what I'm talking about when I mention Star Trek: TNG or Back to the Future movies. Plus, the brains are a total turn-on if they're not conceited about it. Perhaps I'm generalizing a little bit, but within every myth there is a kernel of truth(!).
I have this total weakness for geeks who can dress, not in the preppy popular style, but different and offbeat, like fedoras and suspenders. If I happen to meet someone like that, I'd totally be toast.
Psh...it's "guys who," not "guys that." Also, she needs to learn to use a comma. From my experience, plenty of self-proclaimed "nerds" are dumb and "normal guys" can be brilliant.
that is true. it's a sort of fetishization of self! but then again, no offense to nick there. The structure of this website anyway, and the premise of its operation, works on generalised notions of people: different stereotypes and the assumption that one person in a group can speak for another. Which is not entirely untrue really, but of course in any group there is huge variation. One does what one can. Tbh I can completely see a different 'sort' of nerd who prizes his 'intelligence' so much that he gets more intimidated by an intelligent woman than a 'normal' guy who doesn't have issues re that -- this consciousness of 'intelligence' if anything can be more of a hinderance than anything else.
In any case I'd say try the s/f and fantasy section of the bookstore, if you're trying the bookstore thing. Of course, I've never met anyone there (don't meet anyone anyway) but it seems like the sort of thing that 'nerds' would like and read for leisure more than other kinds of literature. I think being tech savvy and liking comic books helps a lot in attracting 'nerds' though. I do have several 'nerd' friends, and they get totally excited when someone loves their comics. Usually more than the novels they like.
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I actually think G D and Lorraine bring up valid points. The whole self-stereotyping thing almost DOES sound like a warped form of self-centeredness. And yes, there are many breeds of nerd, and not all of them are necessarily intelligent! There is a very clear line between a science/math nerd and a comics/anime/gaming nerd. (Nothing against the latter, as I consider myself one minus the anime. That breed can be incredibly intelligent!) The point is, you really limit your options when you stereotype people and judge them based on said stereotypes.
I will admit that the question-asker sound eeeeeeeeeever so slightly conceited. I just don't really blame her because I think a LOT of us think that way sometimes; it's just that few people have the gall to say it aloud.
sorry but she never claimed to be an english major though I am sure she appreciated the correction.
I have to add though, that just because someone isn't the best at English doesn't mean they aren't a genius at something else. In her case, biology. My fiance can take apart cars top to bottom and fix anything (he's never actually had any schooling in this either) but he can't spell worth a damn and his grammar is terrible.
I consider myself somewhat geeky because I actually LIKE learning and do very well in tests and in school (among other geeky things, like my love for the performing arts and film). But, if you put me in a high school geometry class I'd be happy to get a B. lol
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's into geeks. I don't think I've ever been attracted to that "popular guy"/ athletic stereotype in my entire life. That being said, I'm SO glad you talked about improv/ comedy places Nick! Theatre nerds are one of the best kinds of nerds to hang out with (granted they're not totally conceited and think that they're the best talent out there). Not only that, but improv COMPLETELY breaks the ice. I took a theatre class this past year at my school, and within a few days, it was like we were all best friends. Great place to meet awesome (and sexy) nerds!
Go to an anime or sci-fi (or both) convention, Honey, hundreds of guys to choose from!! I met a couple boyfriends this way.
I found mine at university. He wasn't shy at all about approaching but that may be because I make a habit of humming classical music between classes. I think the best way to get a geek to approach you is to show that you too are a geek. Frankly, I can't imagine dating a non-geek as I am anti-social to the extreme. I'd have a nervous breakdown if my boyfriend started dragging me to parties all the time.
Thanks so much to Nick and everyone else who had suggestions for "nerdy" locations!
When I say "normal" I mean the typical guy that watches a cubs game and plays beer pong with his friends.
I think we all have ideas of what a "normal" guy or girls is. If my idea of a normal guy offends anyone that's not really my fault. Men think a "normal" woman has lots pf shoes and purses. Loves to talk on the phone and hates bugs and other gross things. I love my converse and I make my own purses. I hate talking on the phone for longer than a couple minutes and I think bugs, frogs and snakes are bad ass.
I dont think I'm conceded...however I will admit the question is probably not written as well as it should be. I did write it at like 4 in the morning.
Haha, I met my geek in marching band. But if joining up with your local high school isn't exactly in the cards for you right now, you could check out a DCI show. Careful though, the geek to jerk ratio there is pretty even.
Also he and his is friends regularly have "Magic Gatherings" (Haha, punny, I know) at the college.
Good luck.
You are a 40 year old man.
Nope. Not even close. But you are a trollish commenter. BURN!
One of the guys in my dorm has a simple reason for pursuing smart women.
He is very up front with the women he dates, and tells them he wants smart kids, which is why he only asks smart women out.
I tease him about being a small scale eugenics experiment.
As for me, I just want someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation instead of quoting the latest quiz from Cosmo.