Just jam it in there and see what happens. Of course I'm kidding! Don't do that. Seriously. You've gotta get all Phil Collins and Philip Bailey on her. You've gotta be an "Easy Lover." You can't be all Ramrod McPornstar and expect her to get on board the Backdoor Express. (Or would that be the Caboose Caboose?)
There's really no way to get her to like anal sex. Either she already likes it, or she likes you enough to give it a try. If she's already into anal, chances are she likes an element of pain in the bedroom. If she's freaked out by it, you've got to make her as comfortable as possible.
Talking your girlfriend into anal sex is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. You've gotta be James Bond, Don Draper, and Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise all at once-- super smooth, cool, and relaxed. Go down on her first. Maybe start digitally with a finger or two. Use a ton of lube. Lube is your friend. Seriously, that cannot be stressed enough. It's a wonder product. This is also one of those times when communication is key. Ask her how she's doing. Make sure her clitoris is stimulated the entire time. If she's not into it, or gets uncomfortable, stop immediately.
Also, be prepared that she may never like it. She may only do it on special occasions (like Christmas) or not at all. Many, many women are understandably freaked out by anal. And that's okay. If she's not into it, don't push the issue. You'll just end up making her feel bad and put a strain on the relationship. There is a whole wonderful world of sex out there, and anal is just one country. (And, sometimes, it's a no-fly zone.)
There's really no way to get her to like anal sex. Either she already likes it, or she likes you enough to give it a try. If she's already into anal, chances are she likes an element of pain in the bedroom. If she's freaked out by it, you've got to make her as comfortable as possible.
Talking your girlfriend into anal sex is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. You've gotta be James Bond, Don Draper, and Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise all at once-- super smooth, cool, and relaxed. Go down on her first. Maybe start digitally with a finger or two. Use a ton of lube. Lube is your friend. Seriously, that cannot be stressed enough. It's a wonder product. This is also one of those times when communication is key. Ask her how she's doing. Make sure her clitoris is stimulated the entire time. If she's not into it, or gets uncomfortable, stop immediately.
Also, be prepared that she may never like it. She may only do it on special occasions (like Christmas) or not at all. Many, many women are understandably freaked out by anal. And that's okay. If she's not into it, don't push the issue. You'll just end up making her feel bad and put a strain on the relationship. There is a whole wonderful world of sex out there, and anal is just one country. (And, sometimes, it's a no-fly zone.)
i hate it.. i thought i liked pain in the bedroom but that kind of pain is beyond what i can tolerate and still be turned on.. its horrible.
The Backdoor Express! Hahahahahaha
That was too funny.
Tried it once, hated it. Made me feel like I had to poop.
I love anal, but only when it's done carefully. Even a single finger can hurt if there's not enough lube, or if the muscles aren't relaxed enough, if there's a pokey fingernail, or if it's jammed in roughly. Trim those fingernails, or wear a glove to cover them up.
I find it works best when you rub a finger around the outside of the sphincter, increasing pressure but not inserting until you feel that the muscles have completely relaxed enough that insertion is really, really easy. Then work your way up to a smallish dildo or two fingers for a while before you try to get the penis inside her. Stimulating her clitoris at the same time is an excellent suggestion, and sometimes even bringing her to orgasm before penetration can help relax her even more.
I disagree that you have to like pain in the bedroom to like anal. If it's done slowly, carefully, and with plenty of attention to the relaxation of the muscles and the amount of lube, then it should be a pleasurable experience for both people.
No way. Never never. EVER. Not even close.
I love your advice and have read all your posts, but I'm going to disagree that if a woman is into anal sex, she probably likes an element of pain in the bedroom. Don't worry, I'm not going to go all crazy on that sentence. I'm only saying that I love anal, but am not into pain at all. I just want to share some things I've learned that make it painless and pleasurable. Seriously, when done carefully, it shouldn't be painful for the woman. There are things that can make it painful, but these are easily avoided: trim those nails closely, or wear gloves. I would agree that lubricant is your friend, but make sure to use the right kind of lubricant (special lubes for anal are thicker and make it much more comfortable than astroglide or k-y jelly) and most importantly: make sure to focus on relaxing the sphincter muscle before putting anything into it. This cannot be stressed enough. Even with lube, even with trimmed nails, even with your tiniest pinky finger, if the woman's ass is all tensed up and tight, it will hurt if you stick it in there.
I would agree that communication is important, and a finger is better to start with. But instead of trying to figure out what to stick in there, focus on relaxing the muscles, and being able to tell when they are relaxed. Sometimes, giving the woman an orgasm before anal sex will help relax them. Also, using a well-lubricated finger to massage the sphincter for several minutes until it is relaxed BEFORE slipping it in will set the tone for a pleasant experience for the woman as opposed to a painful one. Take the time to really notice when the muscle feels soft and naturally opens a little. When you can easily slip one finger in, then do, and use it to gently pull on the sides of the sphincter to keep massaging it until it relaxes more and feels like it could accommodate something larger... then move to two fingers, or a dildo that is thicker than a finger but smaller than the penis. Use it in the same manner until the muscles are completely relaxed around it. Only then try a well-lubed penis. You can also encourage her to push out a little - this also relaxes and opens the muscles. If the woman is really tight, this may take trying a few days in a row. Even if you can't get the penis in on the first try, you can still give her an orgasm (orally or with a vibrator or whatever) with your finger in her ass so that she has a pleasurable anal experience.
My ex was very large (both long and thick) and by focusing on relaxing the muscles and starting small, the experience was very pleasurable for me, and not painful. Yes, it felt full, and yes it felt tight, sometimes it kind of felt like I had to poop, but it was an intense sensation, not a painful one. It took patience, but the end result (no pun intended) was that I was eager to do it again, not terrified. Plus, getting head with a finger or dildo in the ass produces an exceptionally intense orgasm. Seriously...if you can do this for your woman, she very well beg you for anal.
I love this site! Good luck!
Damn! I guess that pretty much well covers it.
I'd just add that when my ex bf and I do anal, when he was putting himself in (doggie style is what i prefered to start in cause in girl on top I was like secretly afraid of losing my grip and taking too much too soon) he used to like massage my back by just running his hand up and down- it was really relaxing, just a nice firm stroke, the hand lol not his dick...yet. Well, ahem, just make sure you're relaxed.
Oh and men reading NO DOUBLE DIPPING! If it goes in a lady's ass, it doesnt go anywhere else.... like her vag. Its kinda like chips, but.... you know what I mean. No double dipping. Actually, that should be in the guy speak dictionary haaha.
Yes, no "double dipping." Heh. Seriously, don't do that. You can give her a UTI.
I think you may be confused. You'd have a really hard time getting in to her urethra. I think you have to be more concerned about bacterial vaginosis. Although I could be wrong. I'm not a doctor. And neither are you, so don't say sensational things like "you could give her a UTI", mmmmmkay?
I sure hope that no one takes medical advice from someone named "The Chic Geek."
Either way, don't go sticking in her lady business after a backdoor entry. It's unsanitary.
He's not confused. You CAN get a UTI from after anal if the dick goes back into the vag... my friend got one this way. Why she told me about it i dont know, maybe as a warning? Lol I already knew it was a bad idea.... A UTI is caused from the bacteria in the anus... so i dont know why you think its not possible. If you can get a UTI from wiping back to front you can def get one from having anal and them having that dirty penis rubbing around your lady parts. But yes, bacterial vaginosis can happen too = gross. Nick's answer was accurate so there was no need to correct him.
UGH, even when my boyfriend accidentally pulls out during sex and hits my area around my back door, it hurts SO MUCH. I don't think I could ever be comfortable with anal...that hole was meant to be an exit, not an entrance. Not that others don't find it enjoyable, that's just me.
definitely a one-way street... exit only!
I'm just putting this out there:
But some guys can be so insensitive when it comes to this issue. I mean, really. When are YOU going to let us stick something up YOUR ass?
Yeah, we feel the same way.
that's the way YOU feel.. Lots of ladies (myself included) enjoy anal. Plus, gay guys have anal sex with each other all the time. I think one of the reasons men would be averse to its because it seems "gay".
I understand if you dont want to, but you definitely don't speak for ladykind.
to be fair, they didn't say that they wouldn't have anal sex,or that women can't enjoy it, just that they have found men to have been insensitive regarding the issue and not realizing the magnitude of what they are asking. even if you are perfectly willing and especially if it is your first time, the situaton should be handled with care and sensitivity
look your a female u where made 2 take penetration guys werent ok so just give up the ass when he wants it ok
Way to prove her point. She doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to- including tool bags like you.
Heyy, im bisexual and ive been with many guys and girls (not to brag) and I quite like giving and taking. My girlfriend im with now sugested anal after 1 month of going out and she like taking it in the ass every once and a while, most of the time she doesnt enjoy it but she does it anyways because she loves me. And sometimes in the shower we finger eachothers asses and we both love it so yeahh my point being if any of my other half(s) wanna shove something up my ass there more then welcome. So nerr nerr
Heyy, im bisexual and ive been with many guys and girls (not to brag) and I quite like giving and taking. My girlfriend im with now sugested anal after 1 month of going out and she like taking it in the ass every once and a while, most of the time she doesnt enjoy it but she does it anyways because she loves me. And sometimes in the shower we finger eachothers asses and we both love it so yeahh my point being if any of my other half(s) wanna shove something up my ass there more then welcome. So nerr nerr
if you dont let your man bang the anus he will probably jus find someone elses hole to get in and bring his shitty cock back to your house and stick it in your mouth.
Suprise now you have aids=)
moral of the story?if your man wants anal give it up lord knows he has to put up with your shit everyday
ram her anus while she sleep no lube forced sumo spread.
she will love it
Just... no. If she doesn't initiate it, then let it be. Watch pr0n, and get over yourself.
I've tried it a couple of times. Once with my ex (while drunk) and it really wasn't that bad. But he wasn't exactly well endowed. Then again with a more recent ex who was very well equipped and it was absolutely terrible. It just turned into an embarrassing ordeal that we never talked about again.
My current boyfriend is really really into it and I'd like to give it another go. Thanks for all the tips and tricks.
well I like to give it finger then fuck the ass till it s taming and bleeding
I've had anal sex with 3 different women all of whom were into it when done properly. I'm currently in the process of trying to talk my girlfriend into it but she's rather terrified. She's "never done it before" and doesn't know that I have either. Since I actually love this one I'm doing with the it'll be a new experience for both of us and will bring us closer together sexually approach. Fairly shady yes, but she thinks she'll be giving me something super special that no one else has....win win!!
Lol I tired bringing it up to my girl once or twice and she wanted nothing to do with it, then one night after a party we went to I slipped a finger in and she was ok with that, I tried the whole "spit it and get it" thing and got half of the tip in and BAM!! Now it's a no fly zone :/ ohhh well there's more to it then just your wants guys. But like someone else said, if she don't want it and you try to force it, there goes the relationship. There is nothing worse to do to a relationship then to try and force something. Try a slow approach at it and if there arnt any green lights then wait awhile and try again. But DON'T nag about it and DEFINETLY don't try to force her or make her feel bad for not wanting to.
iv tryed talking my love into anal, and she said the same shit. (If i let u fuck me in my ass can i get a strapon in ur ass)? I thought long and hard over a year about it and i asked her again,she said the same thing.I looked at her and told her to get on,tho i was hoping she then let me. A month or so later we were have sex in the bedroom and i felt her finger in my ass, didnt think anything of it cause she had done this before. she tied me up witch is a huge turn on and then she got off the bed, when she returned i felt a dildo pushed up on my ass. she said that id like it and want it,cause i wanted to do the same to her. to make a very long storie short it wasnt that painful it wasnt bad,so my storie is u gota take some if u want to get some..
ok, i need some help in getting my gf to have anal. her first - and only - time was a bad experience (with previous bf) so i am not having any luck. i have been convincing for years and no luck yet but i will find someone else if we do not do it soon. any ideas ?
Why convince people do something they dont want to? If you try to push her into it, she will only be doing it for you and not for herself.
And if it doesn't work out, she will probably resent you for it and feel shitty about herself and your relationship...she will be analyzing things and questioning if you actually care about her feelings. Even if she pretends not to care, she will.
I think a lot of women do things so they "dont seem prudish", and not because they actually want to do it. Or they simply try to convince themselves they like something because they are afraid of saying no and that there are other girls who do it (and like it - or pretend to like it)...and they are afraid of not meeting up to the exceptions of their man. This leads to a lot of bottled up feelings. There is always a psychological battle between what you are expected to like, and what you actually like. (I am I really doing this for me?) Is that honestly fair? Wait until its her decision.
If she never offers, thats a her choice. Accept her the way she is or move on. It depends what is more important to you in life, her (feelings included) or your momently pleasures.
Why convince people do something they dont want to? If you try to push her into it, she will only be doing it for you and not for herself.
And if it doesn't work out, she will probably resent you for it and feel shitty about herself and your relationship...she will be analyzing things and questioning if you actually care about her feelings. Even if she pretends not to care, she will.
I think a lot of women do things so they "dont seem prudish", and not because they actually want to do it. Or they simply try to convince themselves they like something because they are afraid of saying no and that there are other girls who do it (and like it - or pretend to like it)...and they are afraid of not meeting up to the exceptions of their man. This leads to a lot of bottled up feelings. There is always a psychological battle between what you are expected to like, and what you actually like. (I am I really doing this for me?) Is that honestly fair? Wait until its her decision.
If she never offers, thats a her choice. Accept her the way she is or move on. It depends what is more important to you in life, her (feelings included) or your momently pleasures.
I think the boyfriend is the last person who will be able to give her any green light ideas on this topic.
Trying to convince her will only make her feel insecure about herself...and the fact that you cannot be happy with her her the way she is and with what she is comfortable with. She will seriously start to question if you care about her feelings, since she already said no, and you are not taking it seriously.
It is a really bad feeling to have your significant other not take you seriously, and it feels pretty threatening and all around terrible to know that your partner wants so badly something you are not capable of enjoying...and is simply not satisfied with how things are with you. Can stir up some really bad feelings... and self-hating / self-questioning / resentment.
My girlfriend loves it... i don't even like it that much too be honest she is just too tight and it hurts me, like my cock gets blue... it can't be good for it, But she likes it and i like doing it just because, But i am sure as she gets wider it will feel better for me.,
umm well it just kinda happened she was grinding me we were spooning and grinding i started feeling here breast and licking her neck and ear, she loves these spots, my cock was grinding on her ass and she was kinda wet and i asked if i could stick it in and she was really hot and okay just be slow, i always like her too have 100% control with anal she tells me speed she tells me how deep and so on, first time we did not when have lube it kinda hurt me i did not even have a condom on, 2nd time we had lube and it was a bit better i tried too go deep and she did not like it so i had too stop, and the 3rd time was really good we were really slow at first than i went deep, i said "just tell me how fast and let me know if you want me too stop" and she just kept making me speed up until she came and than she yelled stop and it stopped.... i was soo close too cumming but i stopped on a dime. we did it doggy, and the thing she said that felt really good was my balls slapping and grinding on her pussy,
First time when I asked my lady to receive it up her ass, she slapped the sh*t out of me. Yeah, I guess it sounds funny, but I really wanted to try anal sex and she was totally against it. Then I was searching Google like you guys and I hit on this book called Jack's Anal Persuasion. My God, that was the best thing that I could read in whole universe. Seriously, now me and my girlfriend (same one who slapped me) are only doing anal sex. Now, she adores anal sex. You should give it a try, I'm pretty sure it can help you too!