Tell him it's just about sex. While you might think that the idea of being with two women at the same time is his ultimate fantasy, he's still your husband and could have jealousy issues. Reassure him that you want to fulfill a fantasy with him involved, and aren't just looking for an excuse to be with a woman. (And if you are just looking for an excuse to be with a woman, then there are bigger issues at hand here.)
Threesomes are great in theory. Even if a guy has never been in one, he's definitely thought about it. But with those thoughts also comes insecurities: Can I satisfy two women? What if the other woman isn't into me? What if I finish too soon? What do I do then? Read a magazine? I could catch up on my stack of New Yorkers. There was that interesting profile on the founders of Google-- Dude! Concentrate on the threesome.
But when you actually get down to it, there's the logistics of pleasuring two women at once and also worrying about whether your wife/girlfriend will be jealous if you moan too loudly while you're with the other woman. Some couples are able to get past the jealousy stuff and separate their married life from their wild, poly-whatever sex life. But others are not, and worry that a threesome could open up all kinds of issues in the relationship.
While the stereotype is that guys will jump at the chance of a threesome, the reality is that they often have the same concerns that you do. (Particularly those who are married or in committed relationships.) How will this affect the relationship? Does my wife/girlfriend really want to be with me, or would she prefer to be with a woman? What if I fall for the other woman, or at least want to sleep with her again? What if I run into her at the store? That could be awkward. Put yourself in his shoes. If he wanted to bring another woman (or man) into your sex life, and it was something you never considered, how would you react?
Besides reassuring him that it's just about sex, you could get him to watch some threesome porn with you. Get him into the idea gradually, and maybe discuss how it would go down. (You know, like you're planning a vagina heist or something.) Talking about it could turn him on and, more importantly, get him comfortable with the idea. Also, ask if he would be cool with just watching, Maybe he's intimidated to join in, but the idea of watching you with another woman is exciting.
And, look...he might not agree to it. Shocking, I know. But there are countless reasons why he might not want to introduce a third person into your sex life. And at some point you might have to decide to--to crib from the song-- love having sex with the one you're with.
Threesomes are great in theory. Even if a guy has never been in one, he's definitely thought about it. But with those thoughts also comes insecurities: Can I satisfy two women? What if the other woman isn't into me? What if I finish too soon? What do I do then? Read a magazine? I could catch up on my stack of New Yorkers. There was that interesting profile on the founders of Google-- Dude! Concentrate on the threesome.
But when you actually get down to it, there's the logistics of pleasuring two women at once and also worrying about whether your wife/girlfriend will be jealous if you moan too loudly while you're with the other woman. Some couples are able to get past the jealousy stuff and separate their married life from their wild, poly-whatever sex life. But others are not, and worry that a threesome could open up all kinds of issues in the relationship.
While the stereotype is that guys will jump at the chance of a threesome, the reality is that they often have the same concerns that you do. (Particularly those who are married or in committed relationships.) How will this affect the relationship? Does my wife/girlfriend really want to be with me, or would she prefer to be with a woman? What if I fall for the other woman, or at least want to sleep with her again? What if I run into her at the store? That could be awkward. Put yourself in his shoes. If he wanted to bring another woman (or man) into your sex life, and it was something you never considered, how would you react?
Besides reassuring him that it's just about sex, you could get him to watch some threesome porn with you. Get him into the idea gradually, and maybe discuss how it would go down. (You know, like you're planning a vagina heist or something.) Talking about it could turn him on and, more importantly, get him comfortable with the idea. Also, ask if he would be cool with just watching, Maybe he's intimidated to join in, but the idea of watching you with another woman is exciting.
And, look...he might not agree to it. Shocking, I know. But there are countless reasons why he might not want to introduce a third person into your sex life. And at some point you might have to decide to--to crib from the song-- love having sex with the one you're with.
threesomes really are more trouble than they are fun. especially after the fact...
I have never met a man I had to convince.....
I'm assuming the inherent irony of the reference to "love the one you're with" was intentional, since that song's about spreading your seed far and wide and free love and doobies and all that. And based on that fact, I'm assuming that Nick Nadel is actually in SUPPORT of threesomes, and has them all the time.
Way to be, dawg.
I can't wait to add the phrase "vagina heist" to my lexicon! It was totally worth awkwardly laughing through my mouthful of tea when I read it. You're the best, Nick!
A male friend of mine's new years resolution is to have a threesome with two women. My reaction was pretty much Nick's second paragraph.
To me, threesomes are pretty much like sex in public, which is all fun and games untill someone spend the night in jail for exibitionism.
Some stuff are best left in the fantasy world. And threesomes are obviously part of it for me. Especially in a committed relationship, where you are sharing the man you are planning to spend the rest of your life with with another woman. I'm not the jealous type, but I don't share either.
All fine if to both of you, it is nothing but sex. But you indeed have to consider all the options here before jumping in. Mostly, how would you feel when you will see your husband kissing and caressing another woman right under your nose? Your husband is probably asking himself the same questions, on top of "Is my wife gay?" and "What if that other woman gives her more pleasure in one night than I gave her in all our relationship?"
Anyway, if your mind is all set, then I wish you good luck! Hope for you that everything goes according to plan.
At one point, I would have agreed with you. Things change though. Today, I'm in a great relationship with a girl I love and I would never want to see her with anyone else (even a woman) or her see me with anyone else. Maybe it's because I tried it when I was in high school, but I don't think so.
I don't believe there is a man alive who would turn down a threesome.
I'm with nickie and Dektora. Threesomes almost never turn out well, especially after. Unless you are 100%, absolutely, no doubts SURE, like REALLY REALLY SURE that you will both emotionally detach and never ever have issues with it afterward, no matter what happens during... for your own sakes, leave the fantasy a fantasy.
I agree with Nickie, Dektora & Melissa. Threesomes are a lot more trouble than they're worth. Put on a nice porno, and consider that the third person.
To each his own, and I would never advise anyone to do it unless everyone involved is totally comfortable with and turned on by the idea.
But I have been with two different women who loved threesomes, both with other women and with other guys. Both were great turn-ons for both of us They seemed to strengthen our bonds because we got off seeing each other enjoy extra erotic thrills. We saw it as something to add spice to life when we were especially horny. But we still enjoyed making love just the two of us most of the time.
I recommend it for couples who are uninhibited about sex and secure in their relationship with each other. We didn't let our friends know about it because they would not understand. It was a secret we enjoyed sharing together. We found a swinger group in another city to fulfill these fantasies, which we revealed to each other after reading about such groups on the internet and admitting to each other we would like to try it. We tried it and we liked it.
P.S. -- In answer to your question how to get your husband to agree to it, you might just come out and tell him you have read that a lot of men have threesome fantasies...and that you do too...and see how he reacts.
If he's absolutely not comfortable with the idea, sounds like you're out of luck. But if expresses anything that gives you an opening to pursue the idea, then go for it -- let him help you decide how, where and when this should take place and agree on any groundrules he might want to set.
Chances are once he gets into it, the groundrules will be forgotten and you can do whatever turns you on...and he will too.
Either that or just plan it where he walks in and finds you and the other woman in bed and you both can "rape" him or at least get him turned on before he has a chance to say no. I can't imagine any man rejecting the advances of two hot women, or refusing to watch if they just want to put on an erotic woman-on-woman show for him..
In response to Gordon- About the last thing you said. I WOULD agree, but the thing is...what if her going against his original negative response to the question poses a problem? It could cause him to get upset and feel as if she didnt respect his answer.
How to get him to agree? Just say the words out loud...
...and present him with a signed, notarized contract guaranteeing in ironclad terms that there will never, ever, ever be, with no statute of limitations, any emotional or other fallout from agreeing to such a request.
That would do it.
What a lovely day for a 4467502! SCK was here
What a lovely day for a 3755112! SCK was here
I have to say that for the past couple of hours i have been hooked by the impressive posts on this site. Keep up the good work.
Good Stuff Thank you for the information