The best way to tell him? Don't tell him at all. Show him.
Smile at him. Talk to him. Laugh at his jokes. Ask him out for coffee or to study after school. Friend him on Facebook. Read his Twitter feed. Pinch his nipples. Kidding. Don't pinch his nipples just yet.
The old saying is true: he who smelt it dealt it. Oh, wait, sorry. Wrong saying. I meant this one: actions speak louder than words. Unlike the smelt it/dealt it, this one's always true. Show your interest and any guy with half a brain will pick up on the hint.
Now, if you're the direct type, sure, you can just blurt it out to him, but that can be awkward for both of you. Actions send the same message, but with subtlety and grace. And, as an added bonus, actions provide better deniability if he doesn't feel the same way about you. He might say, "Thanks for the invitation, but I already have a girlfriend," and you can say, "Oh, I know, I just need a study partner." It's a lie, but a white one, and who among us has never lied to save face?
Show, don't tell. It's the phrase that pays.
Good luck.
Okay, I'm not sure I agree with this because I have had atleast every guy I know say that they don't do subtle that guys can't read "womens signals"
Man now I am really confused
I agree with the advice in principle. But you're right. A lot of guys try to pretend that they don't pick up on subtle hints. And largely, those are the guys who won't make the first move anyway. If it's an aggressive cat, he'll pick up on it and ask you out or feel you up or something. Whatever tickles your fancy...he might even tickle your fancy if you give him just a yellow light. LOL.
Anyway, I think this all comes down to knowing what kind of guy you're dealing with and what he responds best to.
So I have another saying: know your audience.
Oh my goodness. Not only do I agree with the advice here, but the "he who smelt it dealt it" thing made me LOL. I mean, really, honestly LOL. Not just faking it. ;)
Oh shit...So that's what I was doing wrong all those years!
I'm totally too blunt. If I liked a guy and wanted to go out, I'd literally say "I think you're cool and funny, lets go out."
99% of the time I got a weird look and an "uh...maybe I'll call you sometime." Dead giveaway that that's a "No, I don't want to go out with you, you fucking loon! Who actually says what they're thinking?!"
Then I had a guy come up to me once and say "You're fucking cool and funny and smart. Lets go out tonight." So I did, and we've been together for 11 years.
I guess I didn't mind being blunt and making someone feel awkward (including myself). As long as I got an answer, I was all good. You either like me enough to go out or you don't. Some guy asked me out once and I wasn't interested and I just said "I don't think we have enough in common to date." Nothing wrong with being honest--except that most people can't take it. (And he couldn't. He got all bent and stalker guy on me.) Rule of thumb with me: Don't ask if you don't want an honest answer from me.
Your approach is better though and leads to less awkwardness and hurt feelings.
And I did wait on the nipple pinching till later! ;p
Great comment, Em.
Blunt can be great. It's a turn-on when a woman approaches you. You have to be able to handle rejection, though, as you point out. Not everyone can.
Yeah, I found out the hard way that not everyone can take honesty and rejection.
But I don't and can't buffer myself, so I might as well go with what comes naturally to me. And eventually I did find the right guy who found my honesty and no BS attitude quite refreshing!
But he's an Aquarius and is blunt and downright rude sometimes without meaning to be, so it works for us. LOL
I think your answer is on target, Cary. Eventually you will want to come right out and tell him, but I think it is a good idea to work up to that. That gives both of you time to get to know each other better first before making a commitment to each other. You may regret telling him right away if he turns out to be not quite right for you. Showing him you care paves the way for telling him that you care when you are sure you do. This also helps you to see if there is more to it for you than just that initial physical attraction. This question and your answer made me hear this song in my head. HA! :)
I totally agree. I believe that guys that say they can't read a woman's signals actually ENJOY the chase, and not knowing what a girl's thinking. It's no fun anymore once a man knows he's got you hooked.... I think guys like to work for it!
I am kind of confused... in a previous blog I read that if you want to get a guys interest then to ignore him and pretend you dont care. But if you show him and your being honest then perhaps wouldnt that make a guy think that he can do whatever he wants, when he wants and just keep you on the backburner...?
I'm pretty oblivious, so I need my nipples pinched.
As Panama Jackson mentioned, though, I'm also not that aggressive, so that may have something to do with it.