It's amazing how many times this question comes in, and I think the confusion has to do with the way the female psyche works.
As I pointed out in my answer to this question, Ok, so I saw this movie "He's not that into you" and it really opened my eyes about a lot of stuff, but now I want to know how do you guys act if you are really into a girl? How can we know?, guys make it very obvious when they like a girl. They practically jump up and down yelling when they like a girl (think of that idiot Tom Cruise)--something to do with a dude's caveman tendencies. Nothing subtle here.
Women, on the other hand, LOVE to play coy, shy, stand offish, bored and indifferent, which makes them believe guys are the same way. Guys are not built this way, if a guy likes you, you will know it. He will show you in a thousand different ways.
osumness advice!!
Girls, you're going to hear this exact answer every time you ask, regardless of which one of the guys you ask. There's a reason for that.
Hint: It's true!
Incidentally, I thought the whole gist of that book 'He's just not that into you' was that any guy who's not chasing you like you've got the antidote isn't into you. Surely it's not much of a leap to conclude that if a guy does likes you, he'll be making an effort? Then again, I never read the book, due to my lack of romantic interest in my own gender.
yeah but what if the guy is really shy? especially when it comes to love?
Even shy guys put on a chase once they get a green light. Or a series of green lights, and a push start.
But while a guy is waiting for a series of green lights and a push start, he probably isn't jumping on any couches (a la Tom Cruise) or pursuing a girl like she's "got the antidote". The signals would be more subtle, I assume. That's a confusing time. How does a woman know to keep giving him green lights instead of cutting her losses?
I'm with you on the shy guy thing - have it happening to me AS WE SPEAK! Most of the time I think he's interested, I'm pretty sure I've given him the green light(s) and still nothing. It's very confusing and one I can't decode!
If he is shy, he needs to grow a pair.
What if the guy is your boss? I would think that would make a difference.
There's this guy in my class and in the hallway when we're switching classes I see him looking at me so when he sees that I caught him he makes it look like he's looking not at me but at someone near me. Also in computer class he was talking to some other guys and I heard him say my name. I kinda like this guy so I don't know if seeing I like him I'm trying to imagine that he likes me. I don't know if that makes sense but Help!! What do you think?!?
What if the guy is your boss? I would think that would make a difference.
Then getting hit with a sexual harrasment lawsuit would definatly prevent someone from acting. However, if you give him the green light as in no, I will not be calling HR or going to the cops, I'm sure he'd be willing to do something.
Actually there's no official policy about fraternization at work. I was helping the HR manager with some old files on her computer and we found an old harrassment quiz and the first question was about a boss and subordinant being in a consensual relationship. She said it wasn't considered harrassment and the company didn't have a policy about it.
I'm trying to figure out how to let him know I'm interested without ending up making things strained between us.
That's my question too. What if a guy likes you but he isn't supposed to like you due to him being your boss or there is a nonfraternization policy at work? How would you know especially if he is restraining himself?
Megan's got it right. If you give a guy the green light, and he's genuinely interested, you'll find we have no problem conveniently ignoring 'the rules' to get you.
I guess he does rebel as much as he can. There is a greencard situation involved as well. But he used to get "yelled" at for seeming to favor me and now I swear, unless I'm crazy, they seem to accept that he likes me. They comment on how when we are around each other, we laugh all the time. He stares at me constantly but also is very guarded. Some of the things he does just seem like he can't control himself and then he goes back to being measured.
He tickles my sides whenever we cross paths, when he's talking with someone else, he turns and speaks to me, and he waits for me when I am talking with other people. He is always staring and smiling at me so much so that I blush, but when I ask him to meet up for some starbucks, he freaks out! Sometimes, it's like he doesn't want me to touch him. I tried to kiss him on the cheek and he instantly blushed and almost took off running.
And men say women are complicated, LOL.
That certainly is complicated! He's obviously throwing out signals, but he's still weighing up the consequences in his head. While such things never stopped me personally, apparently he's not made up his mind yet. He'll get there with a little approval from his friends.
Politicians have been doing this since the Greeks/Romans came up with politics way back when. If you like each other, do it in the bosses chair. If you don't like him, turn his ass in and get a million dollars as well. Full proof ladies.
A highschool boy introducing himself to your parents is a pretty good sign. That's what clued me in to my boyfriend liking me. I missed a lot of other signs before that.
I have to disagree but only because a really good friend of mine (and current heartbreaker) One of the first conversation we ever had about relationships he flat out told me that you NEVER let a girl know you like her because she looses interest. Is it just me or is that a VERY girl thing to say??
I tried not letting women know I was interested in them; I ended up not having sex for two years. You've gotta put something out there to get anything back.
ouch
I think what makes it hard to tell sometimes (for me) is that if I like a guy A LOT, I worry that I'm just imagining him sending me signals because I really want him to like me. So it's like maybe he's just being nice, but because I want there to be something between us, I convince myself that it's him showing an interest in having a relationship with me. I don't know if this makes any sense to other people, but that's where I get confused (because of my own paranoia). So I guess I just wish that sometimes there was a definite signal that could not possibly be interepreted as anything other than romantic interest because then I could be all, "Take that, SELF! He really is into you and you're not just halucinating!"
wow i completely agree with PickingOutAThermos the "how do i know im not hallucinating " i mean yeah he may give signals , say you don't pay attention to it then but later you go back to it and you wonder *was i even awake? and you want to believe it was real and that your getting the feeling of him liking you ,but at the same time *i hope it isn't just me* feeling..
If a guy doesn't like you, most of the time its hard to think that he does. Because frankly, we are horrible at bottling our emotions. Wether were shy or completely confident, if a guy likes you he will act different around you than normal
I agree with pickingoutathermos I understand that if a guy likes you he will call and text and make time for you. But in the beginning stages when you like a guy a lot sometimes when they are just being nice I want to believe they like me just as much as I like them. But now I realize if he doesn't ask for your number or ask to take you out he's just not that into you. lol
As to shy guys, they still send the signals, but they are subtler. Instead of jumping on the couch, they'll leave a card. Instead of saying I like you, they'll say I like being around you.
If you know a guy is shy but see he's smiling at you, paying attention to you, then you've got some pretty clear signals, because he's WAY OUT of his comfort zone.
If a guy is putting himself out for you, there is a HUGE chance he's interested.
And the fastest way to tell is not to ask yourself or your girlfriends if it seems like it, just watch his actions for a few days.
If his actions are different around you, he's interested.
If he hugs everyone and gets nervous before hugging you; he's interested.
If he never looks anyone in the eye, but does it to you; he's interested.
If he doesn't talk about his comic collection, but shows it to you; he's interested!
Really it's not hard if you spend just a little time getting to know him.
Even the non shy guys are the same.
If he jumps up and down and calls out to everyone, then doing that for you means nothing.
If he kisses everyone he greets, then doing it for you means nothing.
If listens intently to everyone who talks, then doing it for you means nothing.
Etc, etc, etc.
Is it different in high school at all? I like I boy who I see a lot but am too scared to talk to frequently, or kind of ever (I know). He's told my friends he likes me and thinks I'm sweet (as in nice), so he doesn't dislike me. Could my apparent complete lack of interest be affecting anything?
I think there's a big difference between guys in general and guy-friends liking you. Clearly, if I go into a bar and meet some guy i can tell if he likes what he sees. Or at a party I can tell if he's into or not. However, once you get beyond mere aquaintance things get ambiguous sometimes. Is he doing "nice" things because he likes me or is my friend? Is he making sexual jokes about us because he wants me or is comfortable? Overall, I think that he is just being a friend because he didnt ask me out or anything that would seem like he was PHySICALLY ATTRACTED when we first met..... and then like 3 months down the road guys randomly makes the moves and try to hook up with me! This happens with like 80 percent of guy-friends, I'm not kidding. I say the same thing every time, "why didn't you just ask me out when we first met instead of making a freindship with me?" They're always like" I dont know", and "you're intimidating. Anyway, what I'm just trying to say is that guys arent always so straightforward about liking you. I lose all my guy aquantance friends because they DONT ask me out and then just make random moves when we've known each other for months! Does this happen to other ladies????
What if he is a shy guy and you can tell that he likes you, but he works with your mom? I am only wondering because there is a guy that I am totally into but he always runs away when I try to set something up like going out to lunch or something.
So there was this guy that liked me last year. He told a few of my friends that he thought I was really good-looking and beautiful etc. He also mentioned that he thought i was very quiet even though he himself hardly ever spoke when i was around. They of course told me all of this and as the year went on he still liked me. Being shy and awfully inexperienced with males and any form of male attention I waited around for him to make a move yet he never did! Infact I hardly even saw him look my way. It didnt seem much to me like he liked me so I was in no rush to make myself look like a fool given false information or last week's news.
I really liked this guy but was too shy to say anything and admit to my friends I liked him so the year went by and not a single move was made on either of our parts. :( Now this year I havent seen him as much and he is apperently over me. Ive heard that he likes other girls and when people ask him about me he gets upset about it. They say its because of how much he liked me and now im wondering whether or not he might still like me or if I'd be better off moving on with this as a learning experience to make the moves with such shy guys.
I just want to know what other people may think and if you do for some reason think he still likes me, how can i make him mine? I definately dont want to dwell on this but i cant help but wonder that if he liked me so much, maybe he would still have some of those feelings when he sees me.
P.S. every time Ive seen him, I made sure to make eye contact and look friendly
well im 18 and i have an older sister who is married.. her husband's best friend (a 21 year old cuban) lives with them and i see him often cause he helps my dad alot.. i went to a music festival with my sis and her husband and the cuban came as well.. we spent the whole day at the festival sitttin on the ground listenin to music and i was giving the cuban tattoos with a ink pen i had in my purse.. on the way home he held my hand and used my shoulder as a "pillow".. at first i rubbed it off as he was still a lil buzzed but today wen i saw him again i noticed i was more aware of him standing too close or walkin by too close or lookin at me OFTEN.. i dont no if he likes me or not.. my other sister says that she thinks he does.. but if he does idk if i should get invaulved wit him cause he has a kid and another on the way.. plus a few other things.. should i as u say give him the green light.. or should i back away and find some1 at the college i will be attending
plus i like him (the cuban).. im jus really confused and i was not the kind of girl who had guys falling 4 her and despraitly trying to get her attention.. so i have no clue wat to look for or anythin.. (plus i have lived a fairly sheheltered life if that give any insight)
I met a guy that is 10 years younger than me. I'm 50. I don't know if that's what's scaring him or what. He's been very nice. We're friends but I love him. I can't tell how he feels about me. We live 45 minutes away from each other. We've been seeing each other a couple of times a week for 4 months. I get mixed signals, too. There's another woman but he says he's not interested in her. She is interested in him, tho. He's done little things for me, but he helps out a lot of people. I chat with him most days but not for long. He's always in a hurry. He was married for 1 year when he was in his 20's. He was almost married 2 other times but the women called it off just before the wedding. He says he's not gay. He doesnt have any kids. I love the way he looks at me but he hasn't tried to hug me or anything. The last time I saw him we touched hands for longer than usual. He says he's very busy with work this time of year. Am I too old for him?
I would only like to add few more tips:
Offering help - If the guy offers to help you with something, like really excitedly “Hey, I can help you with that!” that is also a sign that he likes you. He wants to do something nice to you, to help you out, it’s also pretty obvious - no?
Carries on conversation - Have you noticed that he sometimes wants to just extend a conversation that has led to a dead end? If he really doesn’t want to end the talk and comes up with new topics, ideas, jokes, and if you determine that he does it deliberately - you’re right - HE LIKES YOU :)
Not mentioning other women - This can be a pretty clear giveaway. If he normally talks about women and mentions his female friends but when he talks to you - he doesn’t - then that can be a sign. Why does he do that? Well he just does not want you to think that he might like any of those girls... It’s weird, but guys do it subconsciously...
Well those are SOME of many signs if a guy likes you, but if you wanna know more, there’s a whole website covering the topic of how to tell if a guy likes you, so check it out --> http://www.ifaguylikesyou.com/
I think this guy I go to school with like me but I am not positive. I think he is shy but mayby around me i don't know. Anyway we have passed eachother in the hallway and look and smile at eachother. Then a week ago I was siting doing some work and he comes in to the room with 2 other people to drop something off and then comes back. I hear them talking and then they get really queit like they are whispering. A couple of miunets later he comes over and waves hi to me and a say hi back. I am not sure if this mean he likes me or he is just being friendly?
thank for your imput.
This junk you people write is stupid. For me, i'm the one practically telling him i like him. I can't tell if he likes me, but i'm working on it
What a lovely day for a 665545! SCK was here
I agree, I like to tell the guy that like him, and/or is attracted to him. How is anything supposed to start if you don't let him know and be honest? But with me, he says he likes me back and had for a while. But, he doesn't show any signs at all that he likes me and I give him all the signals.
So, I met this guy on a church trip. We are 6 years apart in age. He will stare at me for long periods of time. When we hug it seems like its for a lifetime. He does stupid stuff around me. He teases me, etc. In the end, I am not sure if he is just being nice. We have been talking ever since the trip was over. He stayed up till midnight to tell me Happy Birthday then at the end of the day he said, I hope you had a great birthday!.
But, when we talk its in private since he is being very careful around my youth minister.. My youth minister is very protective. :/
This guy was in a 3yr. relationship and broke up with this girl about 7 months ago. We had a serious conversation on the phone a while back and he said. truthfully i am talking to her but not date talking... I dont know what to do. There are so many signs but then again I don't know if I am just telling myself that he likes me because I like him a lot. Oh. also. He texted me the day he found out about his teaching job and he didnt text any of my other friends. Plus, he gave me his number...
Ok, so what would you consider a good 'Green Light' to the guy to show him ur interested?
you will kno if he likes you cuz in ur heart it will tell u. he will show it and sooner or later he'll tell you. FUCK YEA I LUV JAYDEN MORGAN!!!!!!!!!!
what if we can't see the signs?
i went to a car dealership on Saturday december 3, 2011. this guy kept making conversation and said when me and my mom get ready to come up there call or text him etc. so ealy today he text me so friday is the day im going back the the dealership with my mom what to do.
i went to a car dealership on Saturday december 3, 2011. this guy kept making conversation and said when me and my mom get ready to come up there call or text him etc. so ealy today he text me so friday is the day im going back the the dealership with my mom what to do.
How do tell your man that you want to spice it up a little bit. I have a boyfriend who is modest and I'm trying to get some fire into our relationship. (Help!!!!)
Great! So Clear.
Thank you
Like i know this guy likes me. Well then what if he never text you first? He liked me showed me so many signs, offered to use his phone to help call
My brother. When we hung out he was soo shy. I had to initiate verything but when I talked to him he acted so excited that I talked to him. Then when he finds out I like him back. He says he doesn't like me that way. But yet when I text him, he still keeps the conversation going and texts me til I have to go. It's so unbelievingly confusing. So what do you guys think about the shy guy not texting or anything first?
Am I crazy or does this happen? A shy guy openly try's to be friends, you fin out he likes you, you have always secretly liked him, you come off strong, always taking to him, you hang and he seems do thrilled to see you, but you keep coming on stronger, and he finds out you like him and he says he doesn't like you that way, no matter how many times he is asked, that is his response. So you back off, and slowly start texting him/talking to him back, and he starts coming off stronger, whenever you make the first move to talk, after you have backed off. why do shy guys do this? They get the green light and back off???
That's a little confusing...
-_- this realllyyyyy helps, i like a guy a lotttt but idk if he likes me.. Soo this really helps me! *Corey Babycakes uses sarcasm*
Its this love triangle. Me, my BFF, and her crush, who likes me. I dont like him at all but he is really smart and funny. He looks at me in class with piercing blue eyes. I'll look over at him and he'll get back to working. But about my BFF, she likes him. A LOT. She asked him out but he said no. I feel bad. Is there anything i can do to get him to like my BFF? Plz someone answer! This is important!
Okay so this guy, that I've always liked, is my sisters friend and my sisters boyfriends best friend. I invited him on my birthday trip, and he came and it was a lot of fun. The whole time, he was flirty, looked straight into my eyes, was such a gentleman and offered to do stuff for me a lot. My other friend was jokinging with me the whole time about liking him (and they are friends) and I'm like 80% sure he heard, but he didn't act different around me and he still went on rollercoasters and rides with me, he even was standing closer to me and staring at me.
Then on the way home, he barely talked to me and when we got back, he hasn't talked to me still. I still haven't seen him, and I told myself, he must not like me. He is 9 years older than me, but I only like older guys. Does he think I'm too young or he just doesn't like me?
ok so this is m story i like this guy who keeps his horse at my house latey we have been oing out in goups but his riends know that i like him he holds my hand sits with me and last night i kissed him and he kissed me back but i am still cofused and dont kow if he likes me am i crazy
Stand up to the plate. and ask him.
tell him how you feel and ask him what he feels.
Most guys are too afraid of rejection to verbally express their feelings. You have to keep an eye for their actions instead.