Sit him down. Smile. Kiss him on the forehead. Inhale. Exhale. And say this:
"Honey. Snuggle Biscuit. Sex Jedi. Here's a cold beer. And I nuked you some mini-egg rolls. Are you comfortable? First of all, I love you. I trust you. But as someone who loves you, I feel I have a responsibility to warn you if you're doing something that I think is unhealthy. That is potentially self-destructive. For instance, If I were to start sniffing airplane glue, I imagine you'd sit me down and tell me to stop. Right? Right.
So what I'm about to say might upset you. I get why it might. So let me assure you again: I trust you. I don't care who you text, e-mail, or friend on Facebook. But if you don't stop talking to that ex-girlfriend who faked that pregnancy and who spreads vicious rumors about you, I'm going to beat you with a pillowcase full of kielbasa. I say that with love.
This woman is a tornado of crazy. A succubus. She's a leech woman. A troll squatting on your chest and stealing your breath. You don't owe her anything. I'm sure it was exciting to be with her, but, you know, that moment right before you drive a car into a brick wall is pretty exciting too. Lots of adrenaline is firing, I'm sure. But then there's the sudden stop, the shattering glass, and tthe steering wheel taking your head off, Let me add here: she hasn't changed. Because if she has, then she would have said her piece to you, and moved on, leaving you to be happy with your awesome girlfriend.
You need to stop talking to her. Not because I'm jealous. But because not only is it unhealthy or you, but it's terrible for us. I'd rather not watch you resume contact with someone who does not have your best interests at heart. Because I do.
I'm not going to mention this again. Everything is cool between us. I'd tell you that I love you again, but you know that.
Want another beer?"
If that doesn't get through to him, and he continues, you might have to think about pulling the ejector seat. It's not uncommon for people who have gone through dramatic relationships to miss the chaos. Eventually, the ball is in his court and you're going to have to make difficult decisions about your own life and well-being.
For the record, I am believing you when you tell me that this ex of his was as bad as you say, and that you have no problem with him communicating with other women from his past.
She should print that out and read it word for word, lol. Good advice! Can I add something?
After asking him if he would like another beer, also ask "how about a sammich?"
guys love a nice cold beer and a sammich! lol
*sammich = the male pronunciation on the English/woman's word: Sandwich
i here ya reformed player, my fiance is still talking with his ex our exfriend , (he says she just a friend, never was in any kind of relationship ) but it doesn't look that way.but she says and do things knowing he's living with me and our daughter and two boys that are step brothers. taking him on over nite fishing trips ,phillies game
and she pays.he tells me hes going with his boss etc.
i told him please dont deal with her because she wants to destroy our relationship. so to be secretive they text/computer .
sorry, but seems like someone (80% sure) has cheated. physically or emotionally idk, but that is not normal.
Karen sweets I hate to state the obvious, but from the line "taking him on over nite fishing trips" and ended it with "so to be secretive the text/computer".....it's staring you in the face. He doesn't respect you and the relationship you have together enough to quit talking to her and I would bet money those overnight fishing trips involve sex. Especially if he's trying to tell you he's going with his boss. Do yourself a favor and drop him on his ass.
say exactly that lol. and i like sex jedi. i'm gonna start using that. and quoting you of course =]
Unless they have a kid together, there is no reason for this guy to be talking to his ex. Even then, the convo needs to be limited to the kid.
I disagree. If you're dating someone, generally it's because you like them as a person. Even if it turns out you're not compatible as a couple that doesn't mean you can't be friends. I keep in touch with several exes with no motive other than therm being friends of mine.
I need help big time I have the same deal happening to my bf was with this chick for almost 3 years she had two miscarriages one was his one they weren't to sure. She cheated on him lied to him would come home at 5 am with muddy clothes on and on inside out...we have a great relationship but every time he talks to her it's like he thinks about being with her or something...I went threw his phone and he didn't delete messages from her and I looked last night and he did....he is hiding something from me I feel....and when I try to talk to him he says he doesn't wanna talk any more...he is an amazing guy and I no 100% he's not cheating on me but I just want him to stop talking to her.she keeps sending him stuff from there past and it's not helping my relationship at all....idk what to do please can you help me. In in love with him like no other
Oh this reminds me of the situation I was in with one of my closes friends. He started dating one of my roomates and she was nuttier then a Fruit Cake. My other roomy and I tried to tell him how nuts she was, he didn't listen and started dating the nut a week, a fucking week, after the Halloween party we had. Which she, being prego, partook of beer and mixers and some of the more colorful candies at the party. Her reason, she wanted to get rid of the baby without having to see a doctor. From that time until they moved out they got into fights all the time. he would get pissed off and come to me and ask what he should do. I told him to throw the bitch to the gutter and move on. "But I still love her," comes out of his mouth. "If you love someone and you get into fights all the time, then something isn't right." To cut to the end, the two are still together and are talking about getting married. Oh... the bitch yelled at me for eating a cupcake given to her for her birthday. It was chocolate with chocolate frosting.... I can't have chocolate and to this day she still says I owe her a chocolate cupcake.
I knew a girl like the crazy ex in this question. Very similar. As in it could be the same person. If her name is Emma and your boyfriend is a barman then this is a freaky-small world.
Yes, I just went through this with my girlfriend and i've stoped talking to my ex. I just hope that from now one the jelousy issues do actually stop. They've been going on for a while, and it's not all about this one girl, so, since I stopped, then I hope she stops too. Jelousy is very unhealthy for a relationship. It's like a cancer. It ruins the love that is there. I know I was in an unhealthy relationship and I see that that ex hasn't changed. So, i am open to the advice above. I just want my current girl to let the love flow and get me that beer.
I'm in the same boat as you. sucks yeah.