Wear a gas mask on your next date? Nah, I guess that's rude.
What do you mean, he stinks? He has a gas problem? Bad breath? B.O.? All of the above? I'm guessing you mean B.O. Does he have it all the time, or only after vigorous activity (bowling, for example, or sex)? If the latter, he might just need a better deodorant. A lot of brands just don't work all day long or crap out after a good sweat. Maybe you could buy some Mitchum or Ban Roll-On and secretly replace whatever Pigpen is using now. Those two brands work great for me. My pits always smell as fresh as the morning dew on a field of windblown lilacs and clover next to a gently flowing brook.
If he has constant B.O., then you have a problem. Either the guy doesn't bathe, and/or he's a neo-hippie who thinks it's okay to smell like day-old ass, and I'm sure there are times when you almost wish he would fart to give you relief from the stench of his B.O. If that's the case, you have two choices: get used to the funk, or be frank with him. I say frank trumps funk. You gotta be honest with him.
You can be frank without being rude. Just say something like, "Hey, dude, this is awkward but I need to talk to you about something," and tell him straight up that he's ripe (except don't use the word ripe). You just have to be direct. Not rude, direct. There's a difference. Be factual, not judgmental. Act like maybe it's his brand of soap or the way he sweats (even though it isn't).
Yes, it will be awkward, but isn't your relationship stalled a bit until this problem is solved? If so, it's worth the awkwardness. You gotta get past this. He can take it. Women always improve their men in some way. My wife plucked my unruly eyebrows on our second date. Didn't really ask, just took the tweezers and started plucking. That's what women do. Guys expect it. So talk to the boy. No one should have to breathe through her mouth on every date.
Cary, your pits sound delish! WTG.
I agree with this advice - if you're gonna stay with him, you have to be able to get close without gagging. If my husband has a deoderant fail I'll just say something in a goofy, sweet way if at all possible, like, "Ooh, you're stinky!" There's no need to be mean or rude about it and nobody wants to smell bad, so chances are that's all it will take to get him to change deoderant brands or take a shower.
Thanks, cary!
My son comes home from wrestling practice all sweaty and such at about the same time his girlfriend comes over here to visit. She just says in a very matter of fact voice, "You smell like you've been wrestling. Why don't you grab a shower so I can hug you. I'll wait here," as she sits down on the couch to wait. That seems to work just fine without causing any hard feelings. My son doesn't get upset or anything, he just goes and gets a shower because he definitely wants that hug. Besides, he knows that what she says is true, and he wants to smell nice for her.
Perhaps you could change the wrestling part to, "You smell like you've been working hard" or something similar to that.
You could also buy him a gift set of body wash/cologne/deodorant for men of some certain brand name. Tell him your brother, uncle, cousin, Dad, or whoever uses that kind and that you really like the way it smells. With any luck, he will pick up on the gentle hint that you'd like him to put a little more effort into his hygiene.
If neither of those things help, definitely have a talk with him. You'll be doing him a favor.
Great idea, Daisy. Or how about, "You smell like you've been shoveling goat shit at a feta cheese farm in a vomit storm"?
HA HA HA HA HA! YIKES! I don't know how she could have ever been attracted to him in the first place if he smelled THAT bad! :-D
Ah my side, it hurts!
I have absolutely no tact, so I'm probably not much help here. But when I was dating my boyfriend (now husband), he was obese at the time and would literally sweat while sitting still. Did I mention he had also quit smoking? Hence the weight gain and probably a little detox sweat going on there. Anyhoodle, he sweat and he fucking stank. He did use deodorant, he showered daily, but about 30 minutes after that shower, you'd think the man had never heard of deodorant.
One day I just asked "did you remember to put on deodorant?" (knowing full well he did). He said yes. I said "hrm....well maybe the brand you're using isn't working so well." To which he replied "You saying I fucking stink?" (He's also blunt and funny). To which I then replied "Yeah dude, you fucking stink." And we set out to find him some deodorant that actually worked.
Turned out that Secret non-scented is strong enough for a man because that did the trick. Although he's now found some unscented Arm and Hammer and that works well too.
Good luck with your stinky dude!
I know this sounds weird but after my husband showers he dries off then runs the blow dryer under his arms and anywhere else he has hair. Just a real quick blow dry. The man NEVER smells! He is a SWAT team commander, Police Sgt (those vests get really hot in the summer) and an avid runner. He NEVER smells-even when he is covered in sweat. I've never seen anything like it. So maybe tell him you read about blow drying your body and see if it works for him. Good Luck!
Good point. I've done that before and it helps.
to be kind, tell him his right guard took a left (lol). He will get the message.
What a lovely day for a 4128653! SCK was here