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How do I tell my guy friend that I have feelings for him but he has a girlfriend...?

You don't. He has a girlfriend. Your window of opportunity to speak up is gone. Another one might open up or it might not, but it's unfair to tell him now and risk breaking up his current relationship. If you do, he will resent you for it.

Zip your lip until he's single again, then seize the moment.

Thanks for the question.

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12 Comments

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Thank you Cary as I can always depend on you to provide the right answers to these asinine problems.

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Geez, why not just ask, "How do I break apart a relationship so I can satisfy my own selfish needs? Oh, and please satiate my narcissisc desires by telling me that this awful thing I am thinking of doing is morally acceptable- because I am not really asking a quesion, I am looking for approval for something I already know is wrong or else I wouldn't be asking."
Shit.

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AMEN SISTER!

Cary McNeal

Exactly. I'm not the guy for that.

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That's the best way I've seen it put!

Faye

2 years ago, similar situation. Guy friend even hinted/expressed interest.

I kept my mouth shut.

I'm glad I did.

Go find yourself an available man. Trust me, it'll be more worth it.

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Actually disagreeing with Cary on this one. If she likes him and he has a girlfriend, there is no harm TELLING him that she likes him. If he breaks up with his girlfriend, that's his choice. Not married after all.

Cary McNeal

Sounds innocent but isn't. Why tell him unless you want him to do something about it? You're still hoping to break them up, and, married or not, that's just a dick move.

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I should think any man worth having would see through such a dickish move and reject you, and any man who does break up to have you, well you both deserve each other...

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That's why I have beef over people who think if they're not married, it's fair game. It's just selfishness and a way to justify that your happiness is somehow more important than someone elses.

In this day and age when not every serious couple gets married, I think this point is no longer valid. Couples who choose not to get married should not be punished for their choice. Just because they are not married doesn't mean they don't have the same type of committment to one another.

People who have this kind of mindset are just selfish, end of story.

Cary McNeal

You nailed it, Kat. Perfectly said.

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I'm in ths situation right now..my hotter than hot guy friend and I communicated daily @ work, he visits me I visit him we talk, we laugh, we touch, it's freakn' fantastic..yes, he has a gf but I don't give damn..sorry but I don't, she's just that a damn gf, not his wife..who;s to say she's the right one for him, if he was so happy with this b...why haven't he asked her to marry him..cause he's not ready for all of that apparently cause our attraction for each other is STRONG and i can't wait to F him...

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