You don't. He's taken. What's the matter with you? Put down the crack pipe and listen up.
Leave the guy alone. I'm all for going after what you want, and I'll give you points for being proactive, but there are limits. Do you seriously want to break up another couple for your own gain? Let me answer that for you. No, you don't. You might think you do, but you don't.
For starters, it's just slimy. You've heard the expression, "Live and let live"? It applies here. Don't be the wedge that comes between a couple. If you really want this guy and believe that you are "meant to be" (if you're into that sort of thing), you can wait until they break up before you make your move. If they never break up, then c'est la vie. It wasn't meant to be, right? At least you'll still have your honor and self-respect.
Also, let's say you ask this dude out and he accepts, then after a date or two, dumps his current girlfriend for you. What happens in a few months when another You comes along and asks him out, even though he's already taken (by you)? Will you be okay with that? No? Why not? You did the same thing; you should be okay with it.
Would you trust him not to dump you in a heartbeat for any chica who shows interest? I wouldn't. His track record proves him untrustworthy, and that's the classic cheaters' paradox: you get someone by cheating, but then neither of you trusts the other because you know you both are cheaters. D'oh!
Don't ask him out. It's wrong. Find your own guy instead of stealing someone else's. Don't be a twat.
*shakin my head*.........I use to whup on chics like her in highschool......... aaaaaaahhhhh, good times.
Haha 'don't be a twat' that's hilarious!
Indeed. Home wrecker. There are plenty of other unattatched guys in the world. You are just jealous of the girl for whatever reason. That's what my spidey sense is telling me. Karma's a bitch. Treat others how you want to be treated.
if he leaves his gf for you, he may leave you for another girl. good advice sir, i give you a million kudos.
Nothing makes me angrier than home wreckers, especially the ones who do it so intentionally. There is no excuse for getting emotionally or physically involved with someone who's already attached.
Something I know from past experience: if you date a person who's already willingly jumped ship at the first sign of something new and exciting, you've already sabotaged the most important thing you can have in a relationship - trust. Don't do it. You're only buying into sleepless nights and heartache.
Exactly. Well put, sir.
I once asked out a girl who was dating a guy who, in her words, was a "jerk." In other people's words, too.
She left him for me.
Then she left me on Christmas Eve...
...and went back to him.
On Christmas Eve? Man, thats cold blooded.
I'll tell you something- I was "the other woman" for one night, and I will never go there again. There's nothing satisfying about the situation. It will only leave you feeling guilty; as you should feel for coming between two people in a relationship.
Don't go there. If you really care about him, respect the fact that he's in a relationship, and find a nice single boy to chase.
"Would you trust him not to dump you in a heartbeat for any chica who shows interest?"
Well put. And unless you are so up your own behind you think you are the best woman in a 2k miles radius, the answer is no. There will always be sexier, younger, better cook and/or more flexible women around.
If he is in a short term relationship, take a cold shower and look around for a single guy to date. They may eventually break up and he will be available for you, without making you the evil couple breaker.
If he is in a serious, long term relashionship, take a cold shower, look around for a single guy to date and STAY THE HELL AWAY from that "boy". Because, no matter how I look at it and how he respond to your offer, nothing good can come out of this. Even if things are turning sour between them and they break up, you'll end up being the rebound gal.
The "twat" comment was spot on. Leave the guy alone. Don't be a horrible person and put temptation in his face.But I have a feeling you'll still try. Hopefully he's a good enough guy to ignore you, then you'll just be a funny story he tells his girlfriend about.
Good advice sir. There is nothing worse than a homewrecker (except a baby-puncher). Just because you like someone doesn't automatically give you the right to go after him. Leave the guy alone!
Plan the seeds of doubt in his head. If he developes feelings for you maybe he'll dump his chick...Its really not up to her
I will reiterate what everyone has said, except maybe not Vee's comment. This isn't a mexican telenovela or even a korean drama. If you two were "meant to be" then it will happen (with your urging, of course) but NOT NOW. You will need to wait a while if you're seriously into this guy. You would need to wait for his current relationship to tank, wait for him to get over her which probably involves some rebounding (meaning not you as rebound chick), and then wait till you're close enough to him to express how you feel. That is, if you don't want a scummy douche which he is if you go through with your plan and he accepts. Maybe you should focus your energies on something more productive--if not another guy, then at least not sabotage. I suggest knitting.
I once brought lunch to my boyfriend at his work and that night, he came home and told me this girl who never even said hello to him started flirting with him as soon as I left. And then she asked him out for a drink! Of course he turned her down flat and since then most people at his work stay away from her. It just never ceases to amaze me the depths some people will go to get what they can't have.
Edy summed it up best I think.
Also, sometimes it is nice to be in love with someone you cannot have. It might inspire you to write, to paint, to feel. The best part of being in love, is being in love. And guess what, you don't have to be in a relationship to be in love! You can love someone who is taken, and never get to be with them, and it is still a good thing. It's really quite rare for the timing to be right... you will probably fall in love with lots of people over the course of your life whom you cannot date/marry. Just be thankful for the gift of love, and don't create any pain in the world. It's painful enough as it is. What is it they say, "first, do no harm" :-)
Penryn thats beautiful, but what if you also REALLY want that guy who's taken and has been trying to get your attention also? But hes taken and all, and I can WAIT, but he got married and I CANT CANT get over him. Tried productive things, but I still want him. I went on a few dates, still did not help. He did tried to hit on me, and I was too shy and freakin bothered that he was engaged.
Its painful to be in love with someone you cannot have. =(
Just like Cary said: "Put down the crack pipe and listen." (Brilliantly hilarious, BTW!)
He's taken - married even. Get over it. Move on with your life. Get yourself straightened out before you try to find love w/anyone. Sorry to be cruel, but you need to hear it w/ that slap-in-the-face like seriousness.
Don't leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will eventually leave you for the one they love.
Seriously people...
i like a guy who is dating another girl...yea, it sucks...but i just live with it and enjoy being able to be friends with him, at least. sometimes you just gotta suck it up and trust that someone else (maybe better) will come along
This only has happened to me twice in my life, where I'm absolutely swept away by someone and can't stop thinking of them. Only thing is, the guy was someone who came to work in my house (I was married) - twice a year apart, and both times I felt such chemistry, and everytime I turned around he was looking at me and we genuinely seemed to get along. Our hands touched by accident at one point, and there was such a zing through my body. A few months later, when I finally called him to thank him for working on my house and giving me good advice about the problem, he called back and was so eager to be with me that, while it felt really good to be reciprocated, his urgency/(desperation) also really spooked me...though I felt so glad to see he felt the same way I felt about him, I also knew that HE knew I was married (and I found out later that he was not only married, but had a kid!) and that was basically uneasiness about the whole thing. I felt that I liked him, but I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot, what would that portend? I felt that yeah, if he was so anxious to get with with me, who's to say he wouldn't do the same with just anybody. It turned out he felt his wife was a bitch...(do I really want to be with someone that thinks that way about their partner) that she and he are separated, and he asked me if my marriage was happy, and I told him that I thought I was happy in my marriage, until he came along, and basically, I think I'm not, but I told him, I'm really not available, and he said, well maybe some day you might be...
So yes, I agree with everyone, it's better to wait. The TRUTH IS, I want him, but I want him under the right circumstances, when we're both ready and it feels right. I want to be a better person and I'm going to work on myself so that he may someday pop up and everything's right where it should be. And if it doesn't happen, at least my life feels more right to me, not where it is now...me unhappy with myself and my life.
agree with pammy.hate those bi*ches who want someone else's bf/hsbnd like there's no other available single guy anymore..some of them are just envy with another girl and how her man treated her,then they try to make themselves feel better than his gf by flirting and being cheap to someone's bf/hb and tryin to break people's relationships....just bcoz they cant have it ,when they see how nice is the guy with his gf ,she wants the same thing happen to her,and she'll try her best to get the guy's attention,but claim that he likes her too.i just don't understand these type of women..they r just lonely and envy with other people's relationship....
For reals it's better to let life work it's own things. I've been in situtaions before where I didn't want to break up with the guy I was with cause I felt they were 'the one' at the time. Well breakups happened and guess what? Being patient and working through life has led to far better things in life for me, I'm with a guy I'm totally head over heels for and he's the same way about me. And to think I could have missed out on this just because I didn't want to break up or move on from other guys. I also have a friend who is attracted to me but he and I are both in realtionships and we are content to be friends and involved in eachothers lifes as just that, friends nothing more nothing less. And besides as many others have stated would you want to be the rebound or the one known as a realtionship killer? Most likely not, so as such just keep on living your life and you may never know while waiting on this guy AND his girlfriends thing to possibly change (cause after all it's both people not just him or her) go hang out and have fun with frineds and dates no reason to deny some fun while seeing how things go. And who knows you may run into a dream guy you never expected to be around and next thing you know he's putting car part warranties and other things for you under his info :p All I did was go to the store for some chips and bam just like that i've been with my guy (who I never expected to exist) ever since and now we talk about kids and other future plans. So dearie please don't wreck one thing for something that may not be worth it, just keep your eyes and options open as we never know when we'll run into our soulmate.