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How do you deal with a boner in public?

I put a lampshade on mine and try to disguise it as furniture. If I'm at the beach, where boners can be frequent, I just hang my towel on it.

No, the best way is to sit down until it subsides. If you can't sit down, you can hide it with your coat or a bag or a shopping cart, which you can steer with the erection and remain hands-free for taking phone calls and texting. If none of those is available, walk backwards or grab the nearest child to carry in front of you.

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23 Comments

DontQuestionMe

"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

em

Jim always said he'd just hide with his shirt un-tucked. Or when in high school...do the old "I'm holding my stack of books in front of it instead of using my backpack."

Bev

DontQuestionMe - Rockin' Seinfeld quote! Go, you!

Also, I agree. I'm glad I'm a chick.

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Seems to me that if you have a hard on, the last thing you should do is grab a child. Don't want to have to mess with registering everytime you move.

OMGBecky

LMMFAO!

Anne

HA! I actually did laugh out loud, Samsmama.

To follow the previous comments: I'm very glad my Physical Arousal Status is easily concealed.

I love guyspeak.com

lol too true, this is funny! I don't think it's particularly helpful but funny as hell. "or a shopping cart, which you can steer with the erection and remain hands-free for taking phone calls and texting." lolololol

Daisy

Hands free shopping cart steering---ha ha ha ha ha! That's an image I won't soon forget. :-D

TheMetalHead

I usually try to think of the most unattractive thing possible and focus on making the blood flow out of that area. It generally works pretty well, but when it doesn't I kind of pull my shirt down in front

user-pic

Grabbing the nearest child would get you arrested bonerless, but probably even more so with a boner...I'm just sayin'. Just tuck yer boy into your waistband and try to think about something unsexy...like boils on asses or your granny in a thong.

Cary McNeal

My granny totally rocked her thong, so that wouldn't work for me.

Mannon

Hide it? I pitch that tent in my pants with pride!
Seriously though, although it hasn't happened much since adolescence, I just adjust myself so it goes up instead of out. You wouldn't even know.

Dektora

Wow, hand free shopping cart steering? haha, that would actually be pretty handy.

(this is one of those times when I'm glad I'm a woman)

Megan

You do know that women NEVER look at a mans crotch unless it's really really obvious.

Penis's are ugly but I do love what they do for me.

grayeyeddame

I'm going to have to disagree with you here... I think a penis can be not only very sexy but even beautiful!

OMGBecky

@Penis's are ugly but I do love what they do for me.

LOL!! Best quote ever.

Dirtmonkey

I was talking to the clerk at the bike shop recently about getting a new crank set for my bike. He was behind a counter that had a little half-door thing - waist-high. As we were talking about the bike, he got off of his stool and moved to the door. Then all of a sudden he blushed, and pulled the door really close to his body on the other side and held it there. I was tired at the time, and he might have thought I was making the sexy eyes at him, but he got all goofy after he hid behind that door. I was wondering if maybe this issue was at play.
I thought it was cute - you know, so human. Validating for me I guess?
I politely finished the conversation, gave him a smile, and was on my way.
Guys must get so embarrassed at this - maybe even mortified (that is if this is what was happening). Like they will be judged harshly for something that their body does. Creepy to say the least. I don't think it's creepy. But I don't think I would've noticed if he didn't hide it. Unless he is unusually large. Hmmm....

Tiffany

hahaha my boyfriend pulls his boner up and puts it between the top of his pants and his lower stomach

Cary McNeal

Good idea. Or you can run it down your pants leg and tuck it into a sock, like I do.

user-pic

No wack-a-mole?

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ahaha, this one made my day
:)

I'm just going to say that honestly, i don't notice boners UNLESS he's got a large monster hiding in his pants

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First of all LOL

Secondly, to answer your question: A friend of mine said that he tucked it up into the waistband of his underwear/pants. ::shrug:: Maybe that's one reason why so many guys wear their pants down to their bum?

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Gotta say, I rarely look below the waistline when I look at guys unless Johnny Rocket is about to blast off from their jeans or someone calls attention to that bad boy. Not even when I saw the neighborhood transvestite swimming in the pool in a woman's swimsuit, I didn't look even then. (Though I was curious.)
All I know is that I get pretty embarrassed when my high-beams make an unwanted appearance, but all the guys I'm around notice them *blush* so if I do happen to see something making an appearance and giving me a salute, I try to ignore it.
Unless they're obviously interested in me. Then it turns me on.

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