While the male ego is a truly sacred national treasure, it can be overcome with nuance. Finesse is also a great way for a woman to get around the behemoth of a monster of an inconvenience that is the male ego.
So, to get your dude to do better, you basically need to tell him what you really like having done and guide that puppy.
(Um, nuance and finesse be damned. I know I contradicted myself, I don’t need that now. No Jay-Z.)
That’s right, closed mouths don’t get fed, toots. You have to actually tell him what you want him to do and direct him. Now, I’m not talking Sgt. Pepper here or even General Patton with your orders, but kindly say, “hey baby, I LOVE it when you do XYZ. Can you do that? And while he’s down there saving the rainforest, you can just say, “right there or to the left to the left, everything you own in a box to the left.”
Or you could always just watch a little pr0n together and be like, “wow, look at how he’s doing that. I’ll bet you can’t do that!” A truly competitive man will never refuse to face a challenge as such.
Overall though, you are going to have to open up your mouth to get him to taste the rainbow in a way that works for both of you all. Ultimately, eating you out is about pleasing you and he should understand that and be willing to do what it takes to make you happy. Which is another card you can pull if you see him getting all tangy-faced because you suggested some things. Just remind him that you’ve spent a lot of time with cucumbers and bananas trying to make sure you got it just right for him. And that you now know that teeth are best used for chicken and turkey, not schlongs.
Tackle his desire to make you happy (or at least hope it exists) and all will be will in Pleasantville.
Tevin Campbell said it best when he quipped, “can we talk” in the early 90s. And yes, that’s what you need to do, talk. Speak like your pearls depend on it. Speak as if you’re on a mountain.
Okay, that was dumb, but Tevin Campbell just popped up in my playlist so I figured I’d give him some much needed publicity.
It was written.