Sometimes when a memory (I don’t want to revisit) pops in my head, I swapped it out with a similar memory & walk down that path in my mind. It’s like this. Shortly after my divorce I would think about that vacation in Aruba with him. I changed my memory with a vacation with my girlfriends to Cancun where one of my GFs lost her top in the pool. I then thought about another awkward time she was trying to impress this guy. As she swaggered over to say hello, she tripped over her own feet & face planted. Soon my mind was filled with funny thoughts of better times. Try it…, it really does work. It’s up to you if you want to dwell on those thoughts or push past them. No one control you, but you.

Work for the future.
Depending on your past...I dont want to live in mine.

i like silky's response, as a divorcee myself i've done that several times. here's another one to try, i'm a fashion journalist so open your mind a bit here on what may be the oddest analogy ever lol think of your past as a really great purse that was amazing when you first bought it and went everywhere with you at the time. as time passed, the purse, while still useful and maybe even beneficial to you, lost some of its initial lustre and appeal. some dings and scratches to it with time, maybe some ink or lip gloss stains to boot, until it got to the point where you stopped using it because...you were losing your keys in it, you kept forgetting it in places, or it got so heavy that it started pinching a nerve in your shoulder until it went into the closet for good. you're never gonna use the purse again, but it still is what it is and it is still part of "your past". you could leave it in the closet taking up space, or you could donate it or throw it away to make room for new and more beautiful purses. that doesnt mean it wasnt a great purse, and tossing it doesn't make your history with the great purse go away, it just makes room for newer and more fragrant choices for you. but you have to do it and you have to choose to make that room.

This is great advice. I have had some issues from my past to sort out. I guess it's like any worthwhile goal: you have to put a lot of time and effort into it, but when you do, the rewards are priceless.

Is there anything you can take from these bad experiences? Take to heart what you can learn from them. Otherwise they are just memories behind you. Surviving them moves you forward to a stronger you...

Following up what MM said about your past being "written" and letting it define you or segue into new ways of being yourself. Am thinking Natasha Beddingfield's song "Unwritten". Great song about living your life fearlessly because it is up to you your future - "Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten..."

As MM said your past is you, what a beautiful statement! But he's right, it doesn't define you, the actions you take afterward is what defines you. Evolve and become a wiser person through your life lessons. I know I've been through bad times, including horrors, in my young life. They were not easy to deal with but you have to keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other. You can look back at it one day and realize that you wouldn't be the same person today had you not experienced everything: the good, the bad, and the unspeakable alike. Or, you can wallow in your pain... but no one is going patch the wounds up for you.

Would writing a list of the lessons learned help? lol. I could write down each bad thing that happened, and then across from it, write what I should take away from it.