One surefire way to know is if he brings up other women to you casually and talks to you about issues or problems he's having with them. Any guy who's trying to get in your skivvies is DEFINITELY not going to be talking to you about other women. He's going to give you the impression that you are the only person he's dealing with.
Another way that you can tell if you've been friendzoned is the level of flirting or playfulness he exhibits around you. Any guy that's interested in you will be ALL about the innuendo. When we want to get you in the sack, we make it a point to provide you all the opportunity to say, "hey, do you want to get in the bed and make rolling pyramids for a three minutes?" While I realize that's more about sex than anything, a guy who likes you, will want to sleep with you. If he doesn't, he definitely just views you as a friend.
In fact, that's probably the best way to know: if the guy that you're interested in is showing no sort of sexual interest in you - touching, flirting, giving you "the eyes of desire" (so lame), coaxing you into the Egyptian cotton - it's quite likely he views you as a sister and you can spend the night with him in his bed and you'll both sleep better than two babies strung out on sleeping pills.
Oh yeah, he might actually say something like, "you're like a sister to me" or "you're the best, that's why I love you like a fat kid loves cake, but he didn't really want the cake and would rather have ice cream, but the cake is fun as hell!"
Bottom line is, with guys, it's pretty easy to tell. Either we want to hump you or we want to play innocent board games where there's no chance in hell you can end up naked with you, like Parcheesi. I'm guessing NOBODY ever got randy playing Parcheesi.
It was written.
All that makes total sense, but what if the guy flirts with me, does the whole brushing the hand through the hair, kisses me, but stops when it gets too "heated" and tells me that "we need to chill out awhile?" It seems that when he gets too close or carried away with me, he backs off again. I don't know what to do.
Girl, there's probably someone else in the picture that he is really jonesin' for. Furthermore, he might just be interested in you sexually, but not necessarily, relationship-wise, and doesn't want to deal with the ramifications of a "psycho clingon" should things go all of the way (sexually, that is).
What about he wants sexy pictures but doesn't want a one night stand, but still continues to flirt, and thinks you are attractive...but says, he wants a woman without kids?
It means he want a toy, not a girlfriend, and he is manipulating you. If he wants a woman without kids, he should stop wasting your time. Right now, you are a recreation to him, an option. Don't allow him to set the standard in your relationship. Only you determine how much a person will or will not respect you, based on your actions and what you are willing to allow or disallow. It is not okay for him to ask for sexy pictures, while feeding you that story about not wanting a relationship with a woman with kids. Put this guy in your outbox, for you and your child's sake.
True, very,, but find it hard for a guy to rather have pics and not the real thing? either he is really weird or gay! But, ya I did say bye, but bad thing, I have to still see him, cuz I do.. he is a person that I have to see, and not a doctor.
He wants a toy? Sure he isn't gay or weird too? i thought most men rather touch the girl too instead of asking for pics....esp if the girl is naked right in front of them.. ya, i broke it off.
What if he shows a lot of sexual interest in you (flirting, touching, eye contact...wink faces when talking online, talks very sexual, suggests for things to essentially go down between us, tells us how attractive we are)...
AND at the same time talks about issues/problems he's having with girls (when I ask him about it)?
BASICALLY the guy i'm talking about is very suggestive towards me, is sexual, tells me what he wants to do with me... I've been friends with him for a few years, and he's always been this way towards me, I've just never given in to anything of what he's talked about to happen b/w us AND he's so comfortable at this point with me where when I ask him what's wrong with one girl or another he tells me and I (without being asked to) help him out and give him advice.
so What the hell is this dude's deal? Am i in the friend-zone...am i not?
I'mConfused: I've been there. Sorry to say, but he's probably a douchebag committment-phobe who wants to have his cake and eat it. You're kinda like the good little 'wife-material' he comes home to and shares his problems with after he parties. With other women. He likes your company, but just doesn't want to be exclusive, and he's manipulated the relationship in a way such that you can't friendzone him but can't get him into a romantic relationship either! Just ask him whether he wants to be your boyfriend/ go exclusive. If not, just cut it off, it's not worth the pain. He'd probably beg. Ignore it. I so hope we didn't come across the same man
my problem: what if he's very playful, but kinda avoids innuendo, gives you sly looks, doesn't mention other girls. Tried giving him a v day thing and all he said was that I was very sweet. sigh. *swears*
Wow, this is great advice. So true too. I was trying to figure out if my ex and I were in the friend zone after breaking and no dice there. We went out on a date ( sometime after breaking up) and I had to practically beat him off with a stick. In my mind I thought I regarded him as a "friend" but really I was still thinking up all kinds of things that I would only allow my boyfriend to do. So, yeah, definitely if you're guy-pal ain't talkin' to ya like he would his other friends than he definitely wants more from you. Had to learn that the hard way.
What if your guy copped to saying you were 'dating', you got naked a few times (never had sex but did everything but) due to your own personal values since he wouldn't give you a relationship with some kind of title, he kissed you, made out with you, called you just to hang out all the time, you were good friends beforehand... and then broke up with you after 3 months or so claiming that all this time- you'd never jumped out of the friend zone?
I find the first part to not necessarily be true...
I was hanging out with this one guy for months, and always kind of figured I was in the friend zone because he never really made any moves, and he would bring up other girls etc.
Turns out later he ended up telling me that he had feelings for me. Apparently he only brought up other girls to see how I would react/ try to make me jealous because he was too shy to make any moves.
so myself and this guy i like are really good friends, he's probably my best guy friend or whatever.. anyway. there's been flirting and what not and we both know theres something there but never talk about it. everyone tells me they know he's into me but im not sure anything will ever happen, mainly cause i am out of town for school.. we had a new years kiss, but im not sure if that was just cause it was NYE. i am home for a week now and it's right back to us flirting with each other while hanging out. people tell me it's gonna happen in the summer but am i wasting my time?
This was really helpful, but I happen to have a guy friend who doesn't talk to any other girls. At all. His mom is absent in his life, and he lives completely with guys, so I think that has something to do with it. Anyways, I'm the only chick I know of that he really talks to, and even that's been weird lately. It's taken months just to build up to hugs. How do I know if I'm just another guy or not?
You are never just another guy. Unless you'r guy friend is gay or has an STD he doesnt want to pass on. LOL The truth is that alot of guy(like girls) will keep their options open. But will not call you an option because well thats kinda insulting isnt it?
well i currently had a boyfriend and he would always tell me how he cared about me and that he really liked me and we were sexual and he would tell me how he loved it and was always flirty and touchy then all of a sudden he tells me hes not ready for a relationship?! that hes scared, yet he still talks to me like if we were together but were not anymore? what does that mean? and he says he still want to be friends and he still wants to be sexual im so confused is he just feeding me what i want to hear?
i have a guy friend that ive known for at least 5 years. we have always joked around and always had lots of fun with each other, never really sexually, but we would make those kinds of jokes back and forth. i moved away 3 years ago, but we still always KIT. well a lil over a year ago he tells me that he is bi and es been with these guys and stuff. and then he keeps talking to me and saying, im drunk otherwise i wouldt say this, but i love you, i love how we can talk to each other so openly and joke around without hurting feelings and blah blah blah. but he said he loves me like 5 times. so does that mean he does have feelings for me or he loves being my friend or what? im scared cuz i have always had feelings for him and im scared that now those feelings are amplified because i havent seen him in a while. what is going on? what should i do? im planing on seeing him and a few other friends later this week, how should i act, what should i expect?
i've known his guy for about a month and a half now and whenever he introduces me to someone its always this is .... he has never once used the word friend. we have hung out basically everyday since we met and he always pokes me in my side or jokes around about my major or something that i say. he has asked for my advice for things on ex girlfriends but its always about how to get rid of them. im not quite sure how to read him because his friend with whom i am also friends with says that he is flirtatious but shy. there have also been times where i have caught him randomly staring at me and when i ask he smiles and says "nothing". am i brozoned or am potential?
The guy i like, hes not a jerk, and im eleven, and hes twelve, but i cant tell if im in the frendzone with him!!! I cant back down, im crazy about him!!!
This cracked me up. My best friend admitted feelings for me over a game of.... guess what?? Parcheesi. lol
What if the guy only asked me about a female because she is a mutual friend, and the guy glances at me sometimes in class when I am not looking at him. In fact the reason he seats next to me is because I told him he could in fact that he and his friend should sit by me. He sat by me for months now even though his friend never sat by us until just recently. One time I saw him with his guy friend and he asked me if I wanted a hug rather than just giving me one why is that?The first time he hugged me was at my waist but he is really tall and the second time was a proper regular hug with more contact. What does it mean when we used to hang out all the time in the library every other day until he stopped hanging out in the same place in the library in fact he told me this "sometimes I like hanging out at other places in the library" is he telling me so that I can join him? I never did join him though. In fact, one time I saw him with his guy friend and he asked me if I wanted a hug rather than just giving me one why is that?
I’ve been talking to this guy for about 3 months now. I have known him for about 2 years and we were relatively good friends before we actually started talking. It was said from the beginning that neither of is were looking for anything serious because we had both just gotten out of long relationships. We talked everyday, or rather texted because neither of us like to talk on the phone and we live two hours from each other. It started out all fun and flirty. We exchanged sexy pictures and always joked about sex. However, the first time we hungout we almost had sex and probably would have if we didn’t have an issue with the alcohol. That was all good and fine, we still cuddled that night like it was nothing. The next day everything was still good, in fact we almost had sex again after a game of strip poker but had no condom. We just chilled for the rest of the day, but he was really touchy. Like we were sitting on my bed and he kept rubbing my legs and stuff, not in a perverted way though. And then we had a really long hug before he finally left. A few days after that I texted him and told that I liked him but he had nothing to worry about because I wasn’t looking for more than friendship I just thought he should know. He was cool about it, he just told me that he thinks we are better off as friends and he wanted to ho around since he never got the chance to do so before and what happened would probably never happen again because he didn’t want to ruin out friendship and he felt kind of weird after. We ended up hanging out that same day because he just so happened to be in town and everything was fine. We went to lunch and then visited with his mom for awhile and then he left. It’s been about a month or so since all of this happened and now things just aren’t the same. We don’t talk nearly as much as and when we do its kinda blah. He has a job now so that may be part of it, but it feels like more than that. I sent him a message the other day asking why he felt weird afterward and he said that it just wasn’t right and he regretted taking it there. If that’s the case though, why did it happen not just the one time? I have sent him a few crazy messages since all that went down, so I probably did this to myself, but I just want my best friend back. I would like for something more between us one day and I feel like there could be, but I don’t know anymore. Before all of this happened he told me that he felt like we were getting closer and it kinda scared him, so I know he’s probably thought about the idea of us. Did I completely ruin everything by telling him that I liked him or should I just give him some space?