Here’s ten signs:
1. He doesn’t want to cuddle, spoon, snuggle or do anything that doesn’t involve putting his penis in your lady business.
2. After sex, he immediately makes some excuse for why he has to leave. Maybe he gets a call from work (it’s not actually work) or he has to meet an old friend for brunch. The more flimsy the excuse (“I..uh…have to get my cat, er, car waxed”), the less respect he has for you.
3. He never makes plans ahead of time. He’ll call you at 9pm on a Friday when there’s nothing else going on and ask if you want to come over and “watch a DVD or something.” Which is always code for “bone, and then leave my place immediately afterwards.”
4. Any talk of the future makes him get nervous and jittery. Even if the future is just a couple of days away.
5. You never meet his friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, enemies, frenemies, softball teammates, fellow LARP group members, parole officer, or anyone else in his life. If you happen to bump into any of his friends, he introduces you as “my friend.”
6. Conversations occur entirely over short texts, IMs, Facebook, etc. He rarely calls, and when he does, it’s usually after 2am to see if you’re up and looking for company.
7. He won’t meet your friends, go to parties or work events, or even acknowledge your existence in public.
8. Most of your conversations revolve around sex. He doesn’t care how your day went, where you grew up, who your favorite Beatle is, what your opinions on the new season of Jersey Shore are, or anything else about you. He doesn’t really want to get to know you. If the talk turns away from sex, his eyes start to glaze over.
9. He won’t even give you cab fare after he shows you the door.
Okay, fine, so it’s nine. That is so something a guy who is only interested in sex would do!
Any other signs?