That's crazy talk. You can stop. Maybe you need help, but you can stop. People say they can't quit things all the time. Smoking, overeating, playing too much L.A. Noire even though it's really awesome and like an interactive movie with great graphics. But the amazing thing is that no one is putting a gun to your head and making you cheat. It is all you.
"I can't stop" is just an excuse. Sure, cheating can be addiction like anything else. It could be you have a sex addiction, or a commitment problem that manifests in infidelity. Or maybe you're just selfish. The good news is you're not a remorseless sociopath who doesn't care about the people you hurt. Wanting to change, and admitting you have a problem, is the first step toward becoming a better person.
First, you should come clean about the cheating. It'll be tough, and maybe it'll destroy the relationship you're currently in, but it'll be good for your soul. Also, you owe it to the person you're cheating on. For one thing, they should know you've been potentially exposing them to STDs. Then, you need to talk to a therapist or counselor who specializes in sex addiction and relationships. Determine whether this is an addiction or just a personal flaw that you need to change. Examine why you are compelled to cheat. Is it all about the sex? Are you bored? Unhappy in your relationship or relationships? Compensating for a void in your life? Obviously you feel remorse, so you aren't a total soulless husk of a person. But if cheating is a serial thing for you, there could be more behind it than just "I am unhappy in my relationship."
Making amends to the people you hurt could help. They may never forgive you, but being honest about your cheating is a step towards redemption. The best way to wean yourself off cheating is to think about how much damage it does to you and the people you care about. As we've seen time and again on GuySpeak, cheating rarely ends well. Relationships can bounce back from infidelity, but it takes a lot of work to rebuild trust. The next time you want to cheat, think about how much you're hurting your partner. Think about the damage you're doing the next time you're tempted. If the tables were turned, you wouldn't want to be be with someone who constantly cheats on you. Why does your partner deserve what you wouldn't do to yourself? Think about all this, come clean, and get some professional help if you need it. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
"I can't stop" is just an excuse. Sure, cheating can be addiction like anything else. It could be you have a sex addiction, or a commitment problem that manifests in infidelity. Or maybe you're just selfish. The good news is you're not a remorseless sociopath who doesn't care about the people you hurt. Wanting to change, and admitting you have a problem, is the first step toward becoming a better person.
First, you should come clean about the cheating. It'll be tough, and maybe it'll destroy the relationship you're currently in, but it'll be good for your soul. Also, you owe it to the person you're cheating on. For one thing, they should know you've been potentially exposing them to STDs. Then, you need to talk to a therapist or counselor who specializes in sex addiction and relationships. Determine whether this is an addiction or just a personal flaw that you need to change. Examine why you are compelled to cheat. Is it all about the sex? Are you bored? Unhappy in your relationship or relationships? Compensating for a void in your life? Obviously you feel remorse, so you aren't a total soulless husk of a person. But if cheating is a serial thing for you, there could be more behind it than just "I am unhappy in my relationship."
Making amends to the people you hurt could help. They may never forgive you, but being honest about your cheating is a step towards redemption. The best way to wean yourself off cheating is to think about how much damage it does to you and the people you care about. As we've seen time and again on GuySpeak, cheating rarely ends well. Relationships can bounce back from infidelity, but it takes a lot of work to rebuild trust. The next time you want to cheat, think about how much you're hurting your partner. Think about the damage you're doing the next time you're tempted. If the tables were turned, you wouldn't want to be be with someone who constantly cheats on you. Why does your partner deserve what you wouldn't do to yourself? Think about all this, come clean, and get some professional help if you need it. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
I will never understand.. surely if you cheat so much then why have you never thought to be single? You can't ruin another person's life just because YOU have a self control issue - grow up, get help.
all you need to do is stop putting your dick in someone when you are committed to someone else. and if that's too much for you, stop making committments you clearly can't keep!!!! nobody feels sorry for people that create victims out of others, which is exactly what you are doing. nick gave some good advice and was a lot nicer to you than i think you deserve. good god this s&*t makes me angry!
You've done the first and best thing already: admitted that you are a serial cheater. Most serial cheaters try to blame their partners or just keep telling themselves that each time they cheated was an isolated incident rather than a bigger problem.
Maybe do a little experiment on your own to try to figure out whether it's a sex addiction or just inability to stay committed. Let's assume that in the moment of the cheating, you do so because of physical urges. Think about a time when you were single. Did you get the same random urges, or do they only occur when you have someone else? If it's only when you're in a relationship, it's probably a commitment phobia. If it's any time, it's probably a sex thing. If you're single now, compare the ways you feel now versus during your past relationships.
Obviously, that isn't fool proof and you probably need to talk to a professional whatever way. Like I said, you've already accomplished a lot by taking responsibility. Best of luck. :)