Very, very carefully.
Edit:
Since this one published early for some reason due to carelessness on my part, before I could put more than a one liner, I am going to throw it open to the readers. How would you tell him? Would you tell him?
Please put in your comments and advice.
I feel for you girl, I really do. Be honest with future partners, always use protection every time. All I know is.. If this was me, it wouldn't be the first thing I'd talk about with a guy. Your going to have to develop trust, and if he truly cares for you this wont stop him from wanting to be with you. The disease may have your body, but not your heart, your soul or your mind.
- I work at a pharmacy, and we fill out scripts every day for STI's. All walks of life, young old, pretty , not pretty . ...It can happen to anyone
Tell him once you are sure you like him enough to want to further a relationship, but before sex. Don't tell him in the bedroom, but in a neutral place. Prepare to educate him on herpes and its spread. Don't apologize for having it and make it clear that it is realy a small part of your life that you manage like any annoying, but common and non fatal medical issue.
Make sure the timing is right. Only tell someone if you are sure you want to further a relationship with them, but before actual sex. Never bring it up in the bedroom, but beforehand in a neutral setting.
Be prepared to educate your potential partner on the disease, its spread, and just how common it actually is. Give him time and space to process the information and come back to you with questions. Make sure you tell him if you have type 1 or 2, as it makes a difference in the amount of information out there. Never apologive for having it, as it is truly a common STD. Be prepared for his confusion and concern.
Make sure he sees that you are happy and confident, despite having herpes. He needs to know that it is really no different than any other contagious, annoying, and non fatal skin disease, it's just located on the genitals. With proper protection and suppression therapy a great and safe sex life is truly possible
mystery man, your answer to this question could have been helpful to the question writer, instead you blew it off to make a dumb joke. boo on you.
Yes. I published it accidentally. When I came back to finish it, it already had three comments - all three very wise advice and pretty much what I intended to say.
So I decided to make it an open question, for the readers to answer. Your comment was added while I was editing my answer.
I agree with the other comments here. And I'm so glad that you didn't blow off the question, Mystery Man. I saw this last week and as someone who has agonized over this, I was upset at the one-liner.
I told my current boyfriend about two months after we'd been dating. At that point, we were moving toward sex but hadn't done anything that would have put him at risk. He took it very well and just wanted to know about what it means (which is why you should be prepared to educate on it).
Also, for anyone who is interested in more than just flings, I think this kind of helps to weed out jerks who only want one thing. People who actually care about you or are interested in developing a serious relationship won't be scared away. It's now nine months since I told my boyfriend and everything is great.