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How long can you date a woman who is too old to marry (and whom you have told to her face that you will not marry her) without ruining her life by taking her final attractive (mid- and late-30s) years?>

Too old to marry? What are you, living in the 1400s? One of those Mormon offshoots Utah is always so embarrassed about? Come to the twenty-first century! We marry people because we like them here, not because they were assigned to us! We have Netflix!

If she's in her thirties, she's a grown adult, and if you've actually been upfront with her about your intentions, she'll drop you like the booby prize you are when something better comes along. If I were you, I'd worry more about the fact that your needs in a woman are about as deep as a kiddie pool after a drought.

Seriously, from one dude to another, grow up.

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32 Comments

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God, Reform, I think I just fell in love with you. I demand marriage, but I'd settle for a hug.

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Love it, RP!

And, something you didn't address (maybe because it was too ludicrous for words): 'final attractive years' ...WTF?!

Dan Seitz

There's only so many ways you can insult one person before it stops being funny and starts being sad.

Isabel

Haha I love the tags!!!

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Odd how this man would tell you how you are as "hot" as the women he is eying. It is as if he is protesting too much of not wanting the younger girls. Why doesn't your mate just tell you that you are lovely without having to add in another woman's looks? It almost seems as if the younger man is trying to convince him that his buyer's remorse is not real. Another reason to not date younger males.

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I'm 48 and my boyfriend is 39. We've been together nearly 4 years. He tells me I'm gorgeous...he'll make comments whenever he finds someone else attractive and will say, "she's hot...almost as hot as you.". So, apparently I've manage to sustain my "final attractive years".

If the woman in question is in her thirties, she is certainly not past child-bearing years, but she must be insecure since she hasn't dumped this manchild.

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I had no idea until today that attractiveness is an "era" with an expiration. Good call by you, RP.. Booby prize.

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Really? Her final attractive years? I am in my mid-late 30's and feel FAR more attractive than I ever did in my 20's! I and more confident and stable (emotionally and financially) than ever. I also know what I want and what I refuse to put up with. I would consider myself nowhere NEAR coming toward the end of my attractive years! Yep, and that dumb boy who wrote this will be gone when she finds the man that will cherish her! Good luck dude...

Tariana

RP, well done!

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Final attractive years? What a jerk! My mom is almost 50 and she dates more than I do and i'm 22! Honestly these days the 30+ woman give women in their 20s a run for their money. Someone needs to show him what true beauty is.

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Final attractive years? What a jerk! My mom is almost 50 and she dates more than I do and i'm 22! Honestly these days the 30+ woman give women in their 20s a run for their money. Someone needs to show him what true beauty is.

emaegf

Attractiveness is more than skin deep, maybe not for this guy, some of the most attractive people are outwardly not attractive to many, but those who take a chance to see the inside beauty soon see the outisde as beautiful too.

silkysly

That’s not a for real email, is it? (giggle giggle)

Dan Seitz

Sadly, it is absolutely legit.

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Like women have a sell by date at age 40. If he really said those things to her, the woman has got to be run down in the self esteem department to still be with him. This is a case where she is just better off alone. I would be happy by myself the rest of my life than be with him for 5 minutes.

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Hmmm, I think I know this guy!!!!!!!!! Chrome? Is that you?????

Cary McNeal

Guyspeak... so easy a caveman can do it.

Question asker: step away from the computer and go back to your cave. Those stick figures aren't gonna carve themselves on the wall.

katej

I wonder if I have an expiration stamp somewhere on my body that says when my attractive years are done....maybe it's on the back of my neck like a gallon of milk. ....will I just wake up one day and be all wrinkly, old and crabby?....

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I just turned 45 yesterday, I'm a single mother of two. According to this jerk my 'attractive years' are over. Good thing I am not overly sensitive to the immature opinion of a child. Quite frankly, any man above or below my age would be lucky to have me or any woman past her 'attractive years'. We have what young woman lack through no fault of their own - experience, maturity and comfort within our own skins. Gone is the petty foolishness that we all go through as we mature, gone is the insecurity we feel over our appearance and it is replaced with confidence and a sense of who we are...we know our value and honestly we don't give a crap what some little child might think. 'Attractive years' ... I've only just begun!

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I think we need to let Jennifer Aniston, Jane Seymour, Courtney Cox, Julia Roberts and a whole slew of other women that are "too old" to hang it up.

Lunita

Ha, I know. I just saw JLO on the cover of Vanidades and she was looking good.

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Guess we need to notify her too ;-)

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Guess the asker has never watched an episode of the Golden Girls.

Cary McNeal

Past their "final attractive" years, according to the question asker:

Salma Hayek
Diane Lane
Monica Bellucci
Halle Berry
Michelle Pfeiffer
Ashley Judd
Elizabeth Hurley
Catherine Bell
Naomi Watts
Mariska Hargitay
Gina Gershon
Elisabeth Shue
Angela Bassett
Irène Jacob
Lauren Graham
Marisa Tomei
Sophie Marceau
Famke Janssen
Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Aniston
Sofia Vergara (almost-she's 38)
Virginia Madsen
Vanessa Williams
Sandra Bullock
Julie Bowen
Izabella Scorupco
Cindy Crawford
Susan Sarandon
Kate Walsh
Helen Mirren
Sherilyn Fenn
Cate Blanchett
Lucy Liu
Robin Wright
Iman
Debra Messing
Faith Hill
Dana Delany
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Courteney Cox
Elle Macpherson
Julia Roberts
Juliette Binoche
Mary Louise Parker
Shania Twain
Melora Hardin
Julianne Moore
Sheryl Crow
Demi Moore
Liz Phair
Christina Applegate
Kylie Minogue
Jane Seymour
Helena Christensen
Elizabeth Mitchell
Emily Procter
Amy Brenneman
Lena Olin
Lisa Edelstein
Maura Tierney
Sharon Stone
Marie-Josée Croze

Shall I continue? Because I can.

Dan Seitz

Wow. Bored at work? ;-)

Cary McNeal

Nope, just one of my pet peeves (the notion that women over 40 are washed up).

Rae

Love it!

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The difference is these women have money. They can well afford to stop Father Time with trips to the chop shop aka cosmetic surgeon. They have the money for the best of everything to make up for age. Yet, Halle Berry and Demi Moore were not able to train their husbands to sleep at home. Demi's age caught up with her when Ashton wanted younger and more attractive women. Demi could only get so much plastic surgery. It is almost sad to see these women still try to compete with the younger women. The women should have set their sights on marrying an older and very successful man when they were younger and more attractive. Age catches up to all women. A man can age and still be hot. Demi's first ex, Bruce Willis, has another younger woman who is about to have his child while Demi has been left yet again.

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Ruining her life? Sounds like this Douche Lord is doing her a favor by not marrying her. Time to get a real man, Honey, and leave the little boys to play with their toys. This guy sounds like Public Loser #1.

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Sheesh. My mother had me in her mis 40s (44 maybe? I've forgotten). That lady isn't even near the end of her childbearing age.

A lot of people I know didn't get married till 30 or thereabouts, she's not too far above normal.

Past her attractive years? Look at the most beautiful list of 2011 and say that again.

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The Most Beautiful List is full of celebrities who can well afford cosmetic surgery, personal trainers, chefs, and the best clothing. These women also have money. Lots of it. That is an incentive for a man to go with an older woman who has lost her bloom. Many younger widows (that means women who lost their husbands in their 40's) tend to get into huge messes with dating. The men know the women have a house and often moneys from a late-husband. It is not great love or attractiveness that brings on the men but knowing they will have a place to rest their head at night and the woman is more than likely to use her money to keep a man around. Not a good thing. Having a baby in the 40's entraps a woman more so. Instead of retirement, she will have kids in college.

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If a woman is looking to marry in the final part of her shelf life and a man does not wan to marry, the kindest thing is to break off relations so she can have that chance of hoping to meet a man for marriage. Like it or not, women do indeed have a sell-by date. Some women are fortunate like the ones here who posted and were able to find a younger man while in their 40's. It may be real love and last forever. More than likely, the younger chap is going to want a younger woman once his older Cougar gets closer to 50. He would rather pick up condoms from the pharmacy than the woman's arthritis prescription. It is not politically correct to admit this truth but it is a fact. Even Demi Moore could not keep her younger husband from chasing the hotties. Same with Madonna's last husband. Young women reading this should not squander their best years and find a good, solid husband. You will not be 25 forever.

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