The dreaded question is “What the hell are we?”
Well, what the hell are you?
Serial Killers? Cyborgs? Sleeper cell agents? Awakened demons heralding the Apocalypse?
Or do you mean: are you my boyfriend? This is an important benchmark in any burgeoning relationship. It’s as important as the first kiss, the first sleepover, and the dropping of the first “L” bomb. But you might not like what I’m about to write…
I think it’s totally reasonable for two people to date for up to three months and not commit. If you’ve been dating more than three months, you have the right to ask where he thinks this is going, so you can plan accordingly. It’s nobody’s fault if you have divergent priorities, but you shouldn’t have to waste anymore time than you is absolutely necessary.
However, three months is a fair amount of time for two people to get to known each other, and decide whether they want to commit. Three months of hanging out shows you’re both fundamentally compatible. You can spend time together. There’s chemistry. A solid emotional and physical foundation exists between you two. And the next step would be to build a relationship on that foundation.
Three months is a reasonable amount of time to wait before insisting on an answer to that dreaded question.