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How long should you date before you pop the question? We are both crazy about each other, have kids, and recently divorced out of years of unhappy marriages. We are both in our mid 40's. Both of us want to marry each other someday.

Come on, people. Give me the information I need to actually answer the question. I am bitterly honest and sarcastic, not a damn psychic.

How long have you actually been dating? If under four months, and it is the first dating since the divorce for both of you, you are both still rebounding and thinking "Holy Crap, not every member of the opposite sex is a total jerk." Hold off on wedding plans in that case.

If it has been longer and you are happy together, then what are you waiting for? Just get on with it! You both had unhappy marriages - yeah, that will slow down acceptance of the idea a bit. In both of you there will be the nagging feeling that this marriage too will die. Which is completely ridiculous. You have both done your time, and certainly know what to avoid this time around.

Plus, of course, there are the kids. You quite rightly don't give their ages, but I feel safe in assuming they are old enough to understand the idea that Mom (and Dad, in his case) is lonely. Talk it through with them, but remember - you certainly don't need my, your kids, or anyone else's permission to be happy. Just your own.

So, stop looking for excuses. Happiness always involves a bit of risk.

Go be happy.

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1 Comment

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Forgive me, but you state that "both of us want to marry each other some day." It seems to me that the subject has already been popped. If you're agreed on that, then you sound pretty engaged to me.

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