I am SHOCKED AND OFFENDED by this question. I mean, how am I even supposed to begin estimating without more information? What size are we talking here? And define "fit;" like, balls deep or just any bit of it past the lips?
Because believe me, this is a question I can answer (the application process to be a Guyspeak columnist is pretty harrowing), but I'll need some more from you so I can turn to the proper chart in my book of "how many of things I can fit where." It's like a scrapbook, except all of things I'd rather forget.
I find the main determining factor is how greasy my mouth is (usually very) and whether the members in question are turgid or un-turgid. Or better yet, dismembered, because I find arranging the dudes' bodies is actually the most complicated part.
Assuming an average size, one Double Down's worth of mouth grease, and that the men involved are as unhappy to be there as I am, I'll say "all of them." But don't hold me to that, because I know guys can get competitive about this sort of thing.
I hope that answers your question, and that thus sated, you never feel the need to return to this website again. Godspeed, internet heckler, and dood luck getting through life as an asshole (much like the dicks in question, it's harder than you'd think).
Swaim, I love you more and more with every passing day.
Also I applaud your dick Guruhood.
Its crazy they waste time on questions like this, but wont answer actual questions that are affecting women
Hey now, I answer five questions a week (and have for like eight months now), and this is one of like three "just plain silly" questions I've ever responded to. Everyone needs to blow off some steam now and again. Tell you what: submit a question to me, include something saying "hey, this is me, pissedoff," and I guarantee I'll answer it next.
love it!
replying to myself to say that i love your main answer, swaim. NOT that i love pissedoff's reaction.
no idea why my comment went as a reply, but keep up with these crazy ones now and then! funny stuff.
Hahahahahaha Swaim, you make my life.
yes! well played swaim. also, nice underbite faggot. lol.
I want to see this answer in the new Gal Pal round-up. "Cary talked about the hotness of the everyday woman, John got everyone hot & bothered with his sex metaphors, Mystery Man answered a chubby girl's question and got called an asshole by 18 different people, Nick talked about online dating, Panama comforted a girl whose ex/crush/FWB broke her heart, and Swaim discussed how many dicks he can fit in his mouth." Bless.
Ur the man funny guy!
You're awesome, Michael! Another incredibly funny answer to spice up my life. Thanks for the laugh; it was sorely needed.
Funny Guy, I wanna have your babies!! Poop and all.
I love you, Michael Swain...you're really such a funny guy...a GREAT funny guy...
Not to be a dick, but the first commenter kind of had a point...I asked you for advice on the sexual geometry of a really tall guy and a really short girl, and it's been so long without an answer that I (at 4'11") have long since broken up with my 6'6" frost giant and am now dating an easily kissable 5'7" gentleman. I really wanted your input, too.
Not to be a dick, but we get hundreds of questions a week and answer five. The fact that I didn't answer yours is not surprising. I did in fact answer the REVERSE of that question, if that's helpful in any way.
http://www.guyspeak.com/answers/what-do-you-think-of-tall-women-dating-shorter-guys/
This site is primarily for community-building and entertainment. If you actually RELY on our advice to navigate your relationship, your relationship is doomed. You need more than an anonymous stranger for a support system. Everyone does.
Yeah, I didn't think I had couched that in enough I-am-making-a-joke internet signifiers...basically, Swaim+sex advice+tall jokes=hilarity, plus possible actual helpfulness. It ain't no thing.
LOL I love your reply
Toni-Lynn