First off, that song is tremendous. (Listen to it here, or go here to watch the video.) Second, Lyfe Jennings is for real. He spent like a decade in jail or something. For anyone who hasn't heard "Statistics," the lyrics offer some statistics about men ("25% of all men can't be faithful") as a guide to finding a good guy. There's a lot of truth to the song, but there's also plenty of exaggeration. (It's an R&B song, after all.) Believing that 90% of men are scumbags and that you've got to find the good 10% is a pretty bleak worldview. I'd say it's more 70/30, with the 30% being the douchebag/scumbag/assclown contingent. Great guys aren't impossible to find--it's just that the crappy 30% is louder.
Let's break down some of the lyrics, which I've edited slightly for anyone you hasn't heard the song. You can read the full lyrics here.
-- "Rule #1: Don't be a booty call. If you don't respect you, he will forget you." Agree with this one 100%. We preach that gospel here, only with fewer smooth R&B beats.
-- "If he would cheat on her, that means he would cheat on you." Eh...maybe. I don't believe in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" rule. A guy who has never cheated before could still cheat. People cheat for all kinds of reason. Maybe he was young and made a mistake, or perhaps he was unhappy in his relationship. Either way he screwed up and did the wrong thing. That doesn't necessarily mean he's a cheater for life.
-- "30% of men don't mean what they say." Sure, I'll go with this one. Though, again, I'd say the same applies to 20-30% of all people.
-- "20% of [men] are from homes without a father, so there's a 50/50 percent that you'll marry a coward." This one's unfair. Plenty of men raised by single mothers turn out fine. Despite what Bill O'Reilly thinks, you don't need to have a father to grow up to be a good person. You just need good parenting.
-- "Be patient. He's waiting." Right on. He's out there, so keep trying. Hopefully you won't have to kiss too many frogs in the process.
-- "Tell him that you're celibate, and if he wants some of your goodies he's gonna have to work for it." I don't know if I agree with this one, but it's an awesome line nonetheless.
-- "15% of all men don't practice safe sex." That's fair. Probably more, actually. A large percentage of men and women don't practice safe sex, period. Make sure he wraps it up and gets tested regularly. (You should do the same.)
-- "Get a backbone and stop feeling sorry for yourself." This is good advice for anybody. Lyfe Jennings should be the new Dr. Phil.
Have you guys heard this song? What do you think?
Let's break down some of the lyrics, which I've edited slightly for anyone you hasn't heard the song. You can read the full lyrics here.
-- "Rule #1: Don't be a booty call. If you don't respect you, he will forget you." Agree with this one 100%. We preach that gospel here, only with fewer smooth R&B beats.
-- "If he would cheat on her, that means he would cheat on you." Eh...maybe. I don't believe in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" rule. A guy who has never cheated before could still cheat. People cheat for all kinds of reason. Maybe he was young and made a mistake, or perhaps he was unhappy in his relationship. Either way he screwed up and did the wrong thing. That doesn't necessarily mean he's a cheater for life.
-- "30% of men don't mean what they say." Sure, I'll go with this one. Though, again, I'd say the same applies to 20-30% of all people.
-- "20% of [men] are from homes without a father, so there's a 50/50 percent that you'll marry a coward." This one's unfair. Plenty of men raised by single mothers turn out fine. Despite what Bill O'Reilly thinks, you don't need to have a father to grow up to be a good person. You just need good parenting.
-- "Be patient. He's waiting." Right on. He's out there, so keep trying. Hopefully you won't have to kiss too many frogs in the process.
-- "Tell him that you're celibate, and if he wants some of your goodies he's gonna have to work for it." I don't know if I agree with this one, but it's an awesome line nonetheless.
-- "15% of all men don't practice safe sex." That's fair. Probably more, actually. A large percentage of men and women don't practice safe sex, period. Make sure he wraps it up and gets tested regularly. (You should do the same.)
-- "Get a backbone and stop feeling sorry for yourself." This is good advice for anybody. Lyfe Jennings should be the new Dr. Phil.
Have you guys heard this song? What do you think?
I interpreted "If he would cheat on her, that means he would cheat on you" as meaning if he cheated on her WITH YOU, what makes you think he'll give your relationship any more respect than the one you helped him ruin? Thus it's not "once a cheater, always a cheater" so much as "if your relationship begins dishonestly, what makes you think it will be an honest relationship?".
Right, but aren't we basically talking about the same thing? Just because he cheated on his wife or girlfriend with you doesn't mean he'll definitely cheat on you. He could spend the rest of his life with the woman he has the affair with. It depends on the person.
The basic principle is still, "once a cheater, always a cheater."
I love it! I had never heard of it before, but its something I think all the ladies should hear. Its what I've been saying for years. Maybe because he looks and sounds better saying it, they will listen.
i'm of the opinion that every relationship is different and in a way a clean slate when it comes to cheating. because the circumstances are different and he may regret said decision and not cheat in the future. i do however believe that if he cheats on you and you stay with him be prepared for him to cheat again. which is unfortunate because he may be trully penitent, but it should probably be a lesson learned for his next relationship, because if you stay with him it basically says this isn't bad enough for me to lose you over so i can do it again. cheating tends to be one of those things that even if subconciously he realizes it's not a deal breaker to you, he'll be more likely to do it again. Also if he has cheated on every woman he has been with, it is possible that y'all have that special sort of something (whether it's alot of self respect on your part, or something else), but i'd be more cautios. serial cheaters seem to have a different mentality than one time cheaters
that song touch meh so bad i sent it as a fwd...people should put iyt in consideration...how thoughtful of lyfe to tell these women that finally....i guess he mark his name..
Gotta say, I really resent this kind of sentiment from guys.
"Oh girl, most men out there are bad, so you should probably just sleep with me. Because, I'm so obviously a gentleman. Look at me, warning you about all the dangers out there, as if I know better than you do, despite the fact that you're the one out there dating them. So let me impose a set of arbitrary rules on you and condescendingly tell you how to live your life, all the while hanging the threat of all the "bad men" out there over your head to ensure your loyalty."
Yeah, because a guy who's spent "like a decade in jail" is definitely in that top 10%. Especially one who objectifies women by comparing them to goods and currency.
What a lovely day for a 1764337! SCK was here