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Mystery Man

 
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hi i just recently wed my husband, whom i had been dating for about a decade. we used to have sex often and now i'm not as interested. i'm concerned he wants more but seriously, how often does a married man expect sex?

The bait finally worked, so you can stop fishing now, eh? Hope you didn't cut him off suddenly - that is crass and can lead to tantrums.

The rule of thumb is that the frequency of sex halves for every 3 years you are dating. So, before your wedding you should have been doing it once a day or so, maybe once every other day if he has a low sex drive. It halves again at the wedding ceremony. There is something so inhibiting about being tied together legally, rather than just financially and through habit. It halves yet again with each child you have. You didn't mention rug rats, so I am assuming they are not an issue yet. Eventually you will get to the peaceful plateau of you both being in the mood once a decade or so.

The answer to your question is: it depends on the man. Most men want sex frequently. Some never grow out of that, but most men do eventually get too tired. Try for at least once a week though, as regular servicing of husbands is part of the household chores.
If he isn't getting enough, he'll let you know one way or another. Look for an unwillingness to help out around the house, going out after work instead of coming home, obsessive gaming. All signs that he feels neglected and is bored. Remember that a marriage is a partnership - which means sometimes you have to take one for the team.

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3 Comments

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Mystery Man I am glad to see you back into the swing of answering more questions. I know most people on here tend to get their jollies by becoming instant critics who wanna rip your answers apart but that's because they have nothing better to do with their time! Looking forward to reading more from you.

Laje Kahr

As a married guy myself with 5 kids, I can say that even with the same guy it can vary greatly. I'm in my early 30's and sometimes I feel like a horny teenager and want it daily or even more than once a day (more than once doesn't usually happen and even when she's up for it, I generally find myself a bit sluggish in the performance department)! Then suddenly a week will go by with no desire, rarely, but it does happen.

If I had to take stab, unless you are "old" (whatever that means to you), then at least once a week is a minimum benchmark.

Although, I did find MM's rule of halving amusing.

Oh wait, I almost forgot: how much is enough? Ask him!
Or observe him...is he constantly staring at you when you step out of the shower, does he seem to be forgetting all your body parts but your butt and boobs? Does he make constant "vague" references to his man part? Is everything an innuendo? He's probably wanting it more than he's getting it.

Does he roll over and fall asleep before you have a chance to romance him? Does he just keep watching TV when you are standing naked next to him? Do you have to "jump start" him? Does he roll his eyes and say "again" when you ask if he'd like to "have some fun"?
Then he's probably getting it more often then he expects it!

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You're in your early 30s with 5 kids? That must be where the horny teenager inside of you shows... That's a lot of practicing and baby making.

How are you even finding the time to post this comment? Don't get me wrong, I love kids but... sheesh.


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