How serious of a "Crime" does a person commit in order to get a restraining order against them? I burned the bridge with a friend and now she's trying to go through all my friends to talk to me and she harassed my family before and would randomly call at night and I've told her many times to leave me alone. Help?!
Mystery Man answered this question on
April 27, 2011 1:10 AM
It varies from state to state, but I am really not sure that this warrants a restraining order. Sounds more like your ex-friend is simply being an as*hole.
You can check here, but this is one time I am going to say go talk to a lawyer. Consultation doesn't cost much and they will give you better and more accurate advice.
Mystery Man?! Why even answer a question like this? You have been so "valid" in the past - and so grammatically correct - that I am surprised you didn't pick up on the mixed verb tenses not to mention the lame idioms in this Q and realize it's a hodgepodge of petty complaints against a "friend" that said writer dissed and now regrets. Hmmph.
True.
There are other readers that will benefit from the link to the restraining order conditions by state and who may be too shy or afraid to ask the question.
If you did a "crime" against this person why don't you take personal responsiblity and correct the situation to the best of your ability? Sounds like you are being a coward.
We did have to file a restraining order against my brother's nutty ex girlfriend and it is different from state to state. Some other options would include an on-line search will give you the parameters of each state and what they require in order to obtain a restraining order. You can also call the county court or the local police and they will help you.
We never needed to talk to an attorney to get the info we needed to get this done.
my question to you the asker would be do you really want to be the girl known for getting a restraining order on a friend? that kind of stuff doesn't exactly stay mum. sure it's crazy what you are going through now, but that is not an easy or cheap route to go and is pretty extreme. but if you do need to go that extreme route, my suggestion also would be to start with the police, they can make you aware of the harrassment laws in your state, and where I'm from, which is Canada, starting with a police report makes the restraining order process easier and more credible for you. If you want this to go away quietly and quickly, why not just write your own cease and desist letter as nicely and formally as possible. Send it in registered mail or in some method where you can prove she received it with a signature (if you ever needed to) and leave it at that. if she doesn't cease and desist, then call the police showing them all of that and they SHOULD ask her nicely to leave you alone as then it reaches a harrassment point. and remember, you don't need to butter her up and be super sweet to her in a cease and desist, but don't be nasty either. "sorry our relationship has come to this point, but I am requesting you cease and desist all contact with me effective immediately blah blah blah good luck!
Come on! The asker has told the girl to leave her alone "MANY times" and she has harassed her family. She sounds like a bit of a creep. There was probably a good reason to end that friendship. A normal person would know when its over and when to stop. I can't imagine how it is affecting your day to day life. I have a friend who I cut ties with (for VERY valid reasons). Every time I see her it puts me on edge. She didn't harass my family but she certainly called and texted me obsessively with nasty and sometimes insane things, showed up at my home and work unannounced and even though i told her many times that I didn't want to be friends with her for x y and z reasons - she wouldn't accept it. She even hounded all of my friends - and some of them where at their ends with her questioning and calls and texts and emails. She only ever stopped when my father found out and was so angry that he went round to her parents house and threatened her father and I suppose her own family took care of it because I have never heard from her since. Even though I am 26 and don't even live with my parents anymore - sometimes a strong word from an authorative figure can sort things out. I hope you get rid of this girl because you probably had a good reason to end the friendship and once she is finally gone from your life you will finally be free from all of that negativity!
Um...it doesn't sound like this chic is committing any "crime". She is a whackjob but not a criminal. Being in law enforcement myself I know that it takes a hell of a lot to get an actual restraining order against someone. A couple of calls and whatnot are not going to cut it. First, you have to be in extreme fear of physical harm to yourself or those around you. Truth be told...it will take two or three police reports of her threatening to harm you/harming you to actually be able to file for a restraining order. Second, you will need documented proof of this extreme harassment, and I'm not just talking about keeping a couple of texts she sends saying she misses you and wants to be your buddy again. I'm talking ones that say if you aren't my friend again I'm going to boil your bunny. Once she sends a few hundred of these texts and threatens to cut your brake lines then go ahead and contact the police...until then...why don't you let them take care of people who's live are truly at risk and are in need of a real restraining order. Thanks.
Im going through a similar situation with a friend of mine. Except its a guy-so its different. They are very hard to read. Im the one that texts/emails him, but not excessively. I send him one cheerful text a day,maybe one inspirational email a week, and call and leave a message every couple of weeks or so.
We were starting to get closer to being more than friends, and he just pulled away. He offered no explanation except that he was "scared". Its devastating when this happens.
Perhaps your friend just wants to try to salvage your friendship? Its hard to lose a friend, especially one you really care for. She may have realized she messed up and would like to start fresh, if you can find it in your heart to forgive her.
My friend didnt even give me one chance- just stopped responding to my texts. Its extremely heartbreaking.
Since your friend is a girl, it should be easier for her to understand, if you sit her down and tell her face to face what the problem is you have with her, and also what she can do to fix it--or if she did something really bad (like slept with your B/F) and you really want to cut ties, make sure she knows you dont trust her, and can no longer be friends with someone you cant trust 100%
If it is something petty, just talk to her! She probably just wants to know youve forgiven her- or like me, might not even know if she did anything wrong. You have to be clear and concise. Problems dont fix themselves. It takes 2 responsible mature people to work through a conflict, and usually it is always a big mis-understanding.
If she knows what she did wrong, she may just want to know if you have or will ever be able to forgive her. She may not want to have it on her conscience until forever and a day.
Either way--good luck, I know its hard, and she could be having issues of her own, and just wants someone to talk to.
My friend is going through a depression, so I just try to cheer him up, and just let him know Im there for him. Maybe this is all she needs to hear from you?
Im going through a similar situation with a friend of mine. Except its a guy-so its different. They are very hard to read. Im the one that texts/emails him, but not excessively. I send him one cheerful text a day,maybe one inspirational email a week, and call and leave a message every couple of weeks or so.
We were starting to get closer to being more than friends, and he just pulled away. He offered no explanation except that he was "scared". Its devastating when this happens.
Perhaps your friend just wants to try to salvage your friendship? Its hard to lose a friend, especially one you really care for. She may have realized she messed up and would like to start fresh, if you can find it in your heart to forgive her.
My friend didnt even give me one chance- just stopped responding to my texts. Its extremely heartbreaking.
Since your friend is a girl, it should be easier for her to understand, if you sit her down and tell her face to face what the problem is you have with her, and also what she can do to fix it--or if she did something really bad (like slept with your B/F) and you really want to cut ties, make sure she knows you dont trust her, and can no longer be friends with someone you cant trust 100%
If it is something petty, just talk to her! She probably just wants to know youve forgiven her- or like me, might not even know if she did anything wrong. You have to be clear and concise. Problems dont fix themselves. It takes 2 responsible mature people to work through a conflict, and usually it is always a big mis-understanding.
If she knows what she did wrong, she may just want to know if you have or will ever be able to forgive her. She may not want to have it on her conscience until forever and a day.
Either way--good luck, I know its hard, and she could be having issues of her own, and just wants someone to talk to.
My friend is going through a depression, so I just try to cheer him up, and just let him know Im there for him. Maybe this is all she needs to hear from you?